The Worst Shift
by CapturedByNoodles
Summary: A decorated officer of the court, with a police record as immaculate as his badge, Naruto Uzumaki was certain he could take on anything. Even if that meant wearing a skirt, procuring a street corner, and going undercover as a prostitute... with his old high school rival as his first client. (SasuNaru - Written by CapturedbyNoodles and Kizukatana).
1. Chapter 1 - Officer Down

**Kizukatana and CapturedbyNoodles proudly present...**

A story of passion. Bravery. _Romance._ An adventure so profound, even the greatest intellectual minds have trouble deciphering just what went down in this the tale...about a pretty woman. Person. Man._ Cop._

**Disclaimer:** CapturedbyNoodles and KizuKatana own nothing (that pleasure belongs to Kishimoto). And never ever will make any money. But we had tons of fun writing, exploiting, and embarrassing the characters that we don't care if we meet our untimely demise in a ditch somewhere. As long as that ditch is warm, has cable, lots of pieces of food to choose from, and is big enough to encompass the entirety of our lame plots bunnies. As always, the cover art does not belong to us either. It belongs to 10 Rankai.

**Warnings:** (Hot)Cop!Naruto, language, PLOT (Gasp), Sexually frustrated!Sasuke, Transvestites, mentions of prostitution, violence, detective work, humor, & eventual man on man sexual intercourse, so if any of this offends you, click that back button right now or forever hold your scathing, anonymous reviewing. Or continue on into a world you could only imagination would be presented to you by a couple of raging, un-appeased authors. Review and let us know what you think!

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 - Officer Down, And In Desperate Need of a Belt<strong>

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><p>"Officer Uzumaki, may I remind you that this is a courtroom, not a bar. If you cannot refrain from cursing at the defense attorney, I will find you in contempt of court. <em> Again<em>."

Naruto straightened the creases in his suit for the umpteenth time. The fear that if he didn't occupy himself, and that he would be charged with aggravated assault as well as three counts of beating Sasuke's stupid face into the ground with Judge Tsunade's gavel, was slowly peeking over the horizon. He was _so_ pissed. Sasuke wasn't even supposed to _be _here today.

This was Neji's case.

He and Kiba always traded what they knew; but it looked like that plan had gone blindingly wrong. Sasuke simply smirked, raising a smooth black brow as though in challenge, his usually expressionless eyes nearly glowing with sadistic amusement, as though clearly aware of exactly what Naruto was thinking.

"As I was saying, _Officer_ Uzumaki. Your performance over the past five years on the force shows a series of unsolved cases and several complaints about questionable use of force. Yet you expect this court to take your _word_ that it was my client whom you saw exiting the site of the robbery last month?"

Naruto tried not simply launch himself out of the witness box and tackle Sasuke to the courtroom floor. He wondered for a blissful moment what that duckbutt's head would sound like when it hit the tiles. But he needed to focus.

"I have open cases because my department entrusted me with the most difficult ones, because I'm a _good cop," _He emphasized, shooting a glance at the jury. "And the assault charges were filed only after the department filed charges against said accuser for attempted sexual assault. If you checked your notes, counselor, you would know that in _both cases_ the perp was trying to feel me up when I punched them in the face. And I expect you to take my _word _for it because I was there, and am a decorated officer of the court. And I am fucking _sure _I am not mistaken about your client since he _pushed _me to the ground and pointed a gun at my face when he was making a run for it. Unless I imagined that all," Naruto said scathingly, rolling his eyes.

Sasuke's eyes hardened slightly as he looked at his client, but he returned his attention to Naruto. "Yet somehow you managed to arrest my client, despite his supposedly being armed and significantly larger than you? I find that hard to believe."

"If I wasn't able to arrest your client, then I don't think I'd have any business being on the force," Naruto responded evenly, "And it wasn't me who incapacitated him, it was Officer Inuzuka. I have security footage that shows him resisting my partner as well. Our department's working on cleaning those tapes now."

"They're cleaning them, you say? Or are they tampering with evidence?"

"May I please ask the jury to disregard what Counselor Uchiha just said. Counselor, refrain from speculations as well as further inciting Officer Uzumaki with your inflammatory language," the judge cautioned. "Either form a viable question or discontinue.".

Sasuke clicked his teeth.

"So once again, a larger man jumps you and you just lay down? Not exactly a stellar example of police work, Uzumaki."

Naruto crossed his arms."First of all, I was shot in the fucking leg, and even then he had to tackle me with all his strength despite him being twice my size. And if by 'laying down' you mean getting back up in time to cuff three of your client's partners in crime and throw their asses in the back of my police car with a bullet still lodged in my thigh, then sure. That's all I was doing, Defense Attorney Uchiha."

"Are you implying that it was my client who shot you?"

"I don't know, am I? How about asking Mr. Trigger happy over there," Naruto snapped, looking back at the the criminal who was sitting behind them, twiddling his fingers. "Say," Naruto asked him, his voice dripping with humor. "Did you shoot me?"

"Officer Uzumaki, please don't antagonize the defendant and answer the question. Were or were you not shot by Counselor Uchiha's client?" The judge directed more firmly.

Naruto sighed, "Yes, he shot me."

"The medical report shows that you were supposedly shot in the upper thigh," Sasuke said, his voice inflectionless, frowning as he looked at what Naruto assumed was the medical report documenting his injuries. Sasuke was standing in for his partner today, and had not had a chance to review the case fully in advance. He was a little unsettled to read the extent of the injury, and it gave him pause. Naruto took the hesitation in an entirely different way, though.

"Supposedly?" Naruto's blood was boiling. Now Sasuke was suggesting he was making that up too? "What, so I'm _supposedly _limping? There's _supposedly _this big-ass scar in my leg now because I _supposedly _imagined it? What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Sasuke just raised a brow in honest surprise. He hadn't noticed that Naruto had a limp when he had walked in, but Naruto had always been good at concealing injuries.

"Officer Uzumaki!" The judge said from the bench. "This is your last warning. One more outburst like that and you will be in contempt of court."

"But he said that I was supposedly shot, right?" Naruto glared at Sasuke, then to the judge's surprise started to unzip his fly… and pull down his dress pants.

Sasuke's eyes widened in probably the largest display of shock that Naruto had ever seen on the stoic man's face, but he was too caught up to notice. "Well here's some evidence. Exhibit A, asshole! I think I should get a chance to show the court that happy-fingers, sitting in that cushy chair over there, knew _exactly _what he was doing when he popped a cap in my thigh."

"Officer Uzumaki!" Came the judge's horrified shout. She banged the gavel on the podium so hard it cracked slightly, trying to garner Naruto's attention while he remained stubbornly fixed on stripping down to the bare necessities, which appeared to consist of just his boxer briefs.

The entire courtroom appeared to be completely fixated on the sight of the very toned, fit body of the handsome young officer being exposed for their viewing pleasure. Few if any were paying attention to the large bandage he was trying to display on his upper thigh. "Officer Uzumaki, I _will _have you removed!"

"How about after I _remove_ my pants?" Naruto rebutted, kicking the article of clothing away to point a finger directly at the wounded flesh where the bullet pierced through. "Suppose _this_, bastard."

To his credit, Sasuke Uchiha didn't move, blink, or otherwise show any reaction to the sight of his former high school classmate performing a strip tease in front of a packed courtroom. The only visible reaction was the slight trickle of blood that appeared from his right nostril. But given the pandemonium in the rest of the courtroom, it went unremarked by everyone except an older version of said counselor, who happened to be watching the proceedings from one of the seats available to the public.

Itachi Uchiha merely raised an eyebrow, looking first at the mostly naked blond standing in the witness box, then his little brother's valiant attempt to appear unmoved by the sight. He'd been in town, and curiously came to watch his sibling work. It seemed that there were obstacles even Sasuke, an Uchiha prodigy, struggled to overcome in his profession.

"Order!" The Judge demanded, she slammed the gavel onto the podium down hard, breaking the hammer in half. "Order this instance! Bailiff! Remove Officer Uzumaki from my court immediately! I will not allow you to make a mockery of me or this courtroom so help me -...!"

The courtroom doors crashed open and Kiba rushed in. "I'm sorry for the intrusion, your honor," It looked like he ran here, considering the officer was bent over, struggling to catch his breath. "But there has been a mix-up with Naruto's pain medication. He's taken nearly triple the dose and the pharmacy just called. I need to bring him down to the hospital immediately 'cause-"

In that moment, Naruto collapsed.

.

.

.

.

It was later that night, as Naruto sat in his small, downtown apartment, that he wondered if he was going to get fired for the fiasco in court that evening. Kiba had taken him out of there in the knick of time, and when the doctor had said it was safe for him to return home, Kiba had sat with him for a while just to make sure he was okay. He was grateful that he had not overdosed when he was rushed to the hospital. The doctor told him it was a close call.

Given what had happened that day, it would have been a great night to get drunk, but pain meds and alcohol didn't mix. Plus Naruto figured he'd used up his quota of 'pubilic humiliation' for the day. Possibly for the next ten years. And _of course_ it had had to happen in front of the Bastard.

But maybe it would be ok. Only Kiba had been in the courtroom from the department to witness Naruto's humiliation, so maybe he would be a good bro and not tell anyone.

Just then the doorbell rang. Naruto limped over and opened the door…-

…-And stared at the bleach-blond woman in a tiny Nurse's uniform, with her cleavage showing so much she was almost spilling out.

She gave him a wink while slipping two fingers between her very large breasts and pulled a small piece of paper out, clearing her throat before beginning in a singsong voice.

"I heard you had trouble, down at court...

Your friends from work sent me the report...

They sent me here to help restore your pluck...

'Cause I'm the nurse who likes to -"

Naruto closed the door in her face, already dialing.

"KIBA, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU."

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><p>Naruto sat at his small desk in the police station the next day, his head buried in paper work. "I can't believe I <em>took off my pants in court.<em>"

"I can't believe you turned down Nurse Oral," Kiba said back, patting his friend on the shoulder. They've been best buds all throughout school, and joined the force together when they graduated. Kiba was his partner on the squad, six years of solving crimes and close calls. But even that amount of time couldn't prepare Naruto for the embarrassment he faced in court yesterday.

Naruto sunk into himself when another person walked by him, laughing. He had arrived at work to find several bunches of flowers on his desk. Some with honest well-wishes but most… laughing at 'the death of his dignity'. Several cards said "Nice Ass". One was signed by his mother. The whole fucking city knew about it.

"This isn't going to go away anytime soon is it?" He mumbled, glad at least there were no cameras allowed in court. Because wouldn't _that_ just be a fucking fabulous facebook update.

"Nope. Because it was fucking hilarious. Man, you should have _seen_ Sasuke's face. It was absolutely priceless. I've never seen that bastard speechless in a courtroom before," Kiba said, continuing to cackle. "He looked like he was having a bloody aneurysm."

"Ughh...I knew something was wrong with me that morning when I brushed my teeth with hand sanitizer, but I didn't think it had anything to do with my medication," Naruto moaned, running his fingers through his hair, combing the locks that were a tad bit messier from days and days of sleep deprivation. "Did the Captain mention anything yet, or…?"

"Naruto, my office." Came the dreaded voice out of nowhere as Kakashi, head of the division, sauntered by with a face that gave nothing away as usual. Naruto's shoulders drooped as he stood up and shook his head back and forth, knowing he was in for it.

"If I don't come out of there in ten minutes..."

"Call the police?" Kiba supplied, flashing a toothy grin at his own joke. "You'll be _fine. _Jeez, show some balls, will ya? You didn't have a problem showing them off yesterday, so do it today."

"Yesterday I was high on OxyContin Kiba."

Mustering what dignity he could salvage, Naruto walked into Captain Hatake's office. He figured that - if nothing else - he still held the record for the most busts in his rookie year, not to mention solving three high profile cases in the past year alone. Mentally, Naruto tried to construct a list of all the reasons he should not be fired. Or worse, put on desk duty. If there was one thing worse than unemployment, it was paperwork.

Kakashi Hatake stood leaning against his desk, a large folder in his hands. He didn't look when Naruto tapped on the open door frame.

"Come in and close the door behind you," he said his voice only slightly muffled from the turtleneck he kept pulled over the lower portion of his face.

Naruto swallowed, but tried not to let his nerves show.

"You are an interesting officer, Uzumaki," Kakashi said, still not looking at him.

"Three complaints of use of unnecessary force, failure to follow the instructions of a superior officer documented on no less than seven occasions, multiple contempt of court charges…"

Naruto finally interrupted. "Sir, I know how it looks, but the unnecessary force charges, two were just pervs trying to get away with assaulting me first, and the third was from a guy who had slammed his own head into the wall and tried to say I did it. The cameras caught the whole thing, and none of those cases ever resulted in charges. The failure to follow orders… each of those resulted in an arrest that wouldn't have happened otherwise."

Kakashi looked up. "And all the contempt of court charges?"

Naruto felt his temper flare, still sore from the public humiliation from the day before. "That Bastard defense attorney, Uchiha, bates me _every_ fucking time…"

Kakashi held up his hand, and Naruto's heart froze. This was it. This is where he'd be told he was being kicked down to traffic duty.

"I didn't call you in here to reprimand you."

"You.. you didn't?"

"No. I came to offer you a spot on our major case squad, in the undercover division."

_Eh? _Naruto was pretty sure he had triple checked the dose of his pain meds this time, but maybe he was hearing things.

"What… did you just say, Captain?" He was being _promoted? _Him? After everything that happened yesterday he was being asked to work a high profile case? Naruto had to bite his lip to contain the overwhelming urge to get up from his chair and dance, but he remained calm. Unmoved. His face that practiced wall of professionalism he nurtured over years of kissing higher up's asses (or at least not pissing them off to the extent that he got himself fired), solely for this moment. This one opportunity to shine.

"You will be the youngest officer to make the squad," Kakashi said, and quickly those walls came crumbling down. Naruto couldn't help it, his lips trembled until finally making a smile. He'd beat his father's record.

He almost bounced out of his chair with a look of delight that was a thousand volts bright, "Really?" Naruto shook his head, "This isn't a joke, right? Kiba's not pranking me again is he?" The look on his face was one of hopeful caution.

"I can assure you that there is nothing Inuzuka could possibly do to convince me to be a part of his pranks, Naruto," Kakashi said drily. "He's bad enough as it is just on his own."

"But Captain, why me? I'm sure you're aware of….yesterdays….incident," Naruto cringed, refusing to make eye contact at the mention of it. "With all due respect, I thought you invited me in here to fire me, not promote me."

"Ah, yes. I have to say, Uchiha is very persistent as a defense attorney. We have tried several tactics to try to derail his train of thought in the courtroom, but no one ever considered stripping down and throwing their pants at him."

Naruto flushed a little.

"Yet another example of your creative, if knuckle-headed, approach. You are the number one unpredictable officer in the department, but you definitely get results. And in undercover work, you are often flying blind with no backup. You need to be able to think on your feet, and I trust you're the officer to do it. But the assignments are much more high-risk. Are you sure you want it?"

There was no doubt in his mind he did. Naruto sat back in his chair, straightened his posture, and nodded once. His eyes blazed with the determination to please, and the dedication to justice that he was so remarkably known for. That was instilled in him when he broke out into the world and took his very first breath. "I'm capable of handling anything Captain," Naruto asserted, placing a hand to his heart, both to contain its wild beating and show his seriousness. "Whatever you need me to do to serve and protect, I'll do whatever it takes. I understand what joining this group entails in terms of both risk and performance, and I won't let you down, believe it. I swear on my badge to perform my duties regularly and without incident."

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the slightly over-enthusiastic acceptance speech, but having read the kid's profile, hadn't really expected anything less. Kakashi also had a passing acquaintance with Naruto's mother, and knew exactly where he got it from.

"Well… I'm very glad to hear you say that, Naruto. I don't know that there will be much that is 'regular' about your duties, and I am skeptical that there will be no incidents given your history. However, there is a case that has come up that - especially after what Inuzuka informed me happened yesterday - I believe you would be ideally suited for," Kakashi's eyes held a devilish glint that would make most men wary. Naruto tried not to blanch, somehow knowing that this was going to be outside of what even Naruto was prepared for.

"If you accept, we will schedule a briefing immediately regarding your new case, and you will be introduced to your new partner. I know that you and Inuzuka have a long history, but you will not be able to tell him about your new casework, unless you are given explicit clearance to do so. This is not the peanut gallery anymore. These are major cases. There will be a lot at stake, and screw-ups or leaks in information will be all over the front page of the newspaper and the Police Commissioner will be riding my ass, in the not happy fun way. Do you understand?"

Naruto swallowed, signalling with sharp nod that the point was _extremely_ clear, and he would treat this with the utmost care. "I understand. I accept this case on behalf of the department and I'm ready to begin as soon as I'm instructed, Captain."

Kakashi grabbed a file off his desk and stood up. "Excellent. Then walk with me, Officer Uzumaki," He told him, making his way around the desk and to the door. Kakashi opened it for him, signalling Naruto out of his office first.

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><p>Naruto followed Kakashi, ignoring Kiba's open mouthed stares and anxious inquiry (through Kiba's spastic splaying of hands) down the hall, into the elevator, and finally onto the only floor of the police station that required a special security code.<p>

It was Naruto's first time having access to the floor.

The elevator doors opened and Kakashi led him down the hall to a room locked with a keypad. The captain entered a long series of numbers - pressed so rapidly that there was no hope of Naruto remembering them - before he was asked to go inside. Naruto walked in.

He had to adjust his eyes to the dim lighting, noting it was otherwise a normal interrogation room, save for a longer desk, more comfortable chairs, and the presence of a young man with his head buried in his rested arms. Kakashi shut the door behind them, motioning towards one of the chairs.

"Have a seat."

Naruto obeyed the command and sat down.

Kakashi followed suit setting what Naruto assumed was the case file on the desk, and then sliding it towards the restless cop. Naruto tried not to seem eager when he opened the folder and held the papers in his hands. He immediately saw that what he was handed wasn't a debriefing, but hospital records. The name had been blackened out, but Naruto was able to read the rest.

He realized that these records were likely for the woman who was resting in the other chair. He looked at the date, and saw that it was only yesterday. His excitement faded to seriousness as he realized it was starting. Something bad had clearly happened to this person, and it would be his job to protect her.

He looked back down at the paper, all giddiness gone, his face hard and focused. Many people underestimated him due to his perpetual good humor and lightheartedness. But there wasn't a cop in the department who took his work more seriously or was more willing to put his own personal safety on the line than Naruto. Kakashi knew it, and it was why he had pulled him in despite his young age. Well… that and the courtroom scene.

**Sex: ** _Male_, **Age** _32_

Naruto glanced up, realizing that he had mistaken the man for a woman due to his long hair and feminine clothing. And purse.

**Medical Condition**: _Serious but not critical_. _ Patient was found unconscious in the emergency room waiting area, suffering from blunt force trauma to the head. There were multiple lacerations to the face, chest, and back. Patient suffered contusions to over 80% of his torso, two cracked ribs, and a fracture of the right ulna. There was minor internal bleeding of the spleen and significant bruising to the face and shoulders. Defensive wounds were noted on the patient's hands, and DNA samples were collected from beneath his fingernails. Patients wrists show abrasions and bruising consistent with ligature marks of some form of restraint device. Patients neck show ligature marks from compression, evidence of attempted asphyxiation. Patient reported that injuries occurred after he was abducted on his way home from work, and was pulled into an alley where he was almost sexually assaulted. He did not know the assailant, but was able to describe him as having slicked back silver hair, sunglasses, and being of above-average height and build. Patient was able to escape by distracting the assailant with false compliments before breaking his hand mirror, and using the shard to stab the assailant in the abdominal area. He then ran towards the nearest hospital, collapsed in the entrance, and was found and treated by our urgent care team. _

**Status: **_Despite advice of the attending physician, the patient has discharged himself into his own care in order to work directly with the police regarding the identification and capture of his assailant. He needs to be monitored for internal bleeding and possible concussion._

Naruto lowered the paper and looked up to meet the gaze of the young man who had suffered these egregious injuries. His heart constricted as it was a face he knew well.

"_Haku_," Naruto said, dropping the paper and immediately going to his friend's side. "Oh, my god, Haku, who did this to you?"

Naruto's throat was tight at the thought of his beautiful, gentle friend being subjected to something like this. And also somewhat surprised, since this same beautiful, feminine looking man actually regularly kicked everyone's ass during open sparring night at the dojo where they had met. Haku had been one of the Senpais that had trained Naruto and Kiba when they first joined the force and wanted to have skills other than guns to rely on.

Haku smiled, then winced as the motion pulled at a cut on his lip. "I didn't know him. He wore glasses to cover his face, but I'd recognize him again if I saw him. Naruto, I'm glad it will be you. So many other people… wouldn't care about someone like me."

Naruto felt his anger spike. He'd seen the cutting remarks and disgusted glances people sometimes gave his friend when they found out he was male. It pissed him off, and he never stayed silent about it even though Haku said it didn't bother him what ignorant, prejudiced people said. Naruto had punched out more than one person who had been talking shit, though he was always careful to only do it when he was off duty.

He knew the rules as a cop.

"Anything," Naruto said, his voice almost a growl. "Kakashi… just tell me where to start."

"Haku isn't the only victim," Kakashi began. "He's just the only victim that has survived."

Naruto's heart stopped at the thought that he could have been seeing his friend down in the morgue instead of in the witness protection examination room.

"What?" Naruto asked, forcing his voice out.

"There is a serial killer targeting transvestite prostitutes. He's already killed five. Haku was mistaken for one, since his work is near a heavily trafficked corner for prostitution, and if he didn't escape he would have been the sixth. If he follows the same pattern, he will pick another victim within the next three weeks."

Naruto turned burning eyes at Kakashi. "And why I am only hearing about this now? If there is a serial killer out there targeting innocent people, should it be in the newspapers to _warn_ them? So they can take precaution and protect themselves? Or does the department not care, because they don't look and act like the fucking commissioner?"

Kakashi held up a hand. "Slow down, Naruto. Don't jump to conclusions. Serial killers kill because they want attention. The more attention we give him, the more he will enjoy his kills. Up until now, he has been targeting prostitutes. We have had vice getting the word out so the girls know what to look out for, but without a description it has been hard going. And they don't have much choice to just stop doing what they do. We've been sending police cars out, but they don't like that either because it interferes with business."

Naruto forced himself to let Kakashi's words sink in, and his anger faded a bit. "Sorry… it's just… you don't know the kind of shitty things I've heard people say to Haku. People are just so…"

"I know. And this makes it even more perfect that you will be the one taking the case," Kakashi said.

"So what, you want me to hang out and do under-cover surveillance near areas where there are transvestite prostitutes?"

"No," Kakashi said, his eyes showing that same glint that had put Naruto on edge in his office. "I want you to go out and _become _a transvestite prostitute."

Naruto blinked. _ What?_

"Um…" Naruto tried.

Despite his injuries, Haku smiled. "Don't worry, Naruto. My job will be to help your 'transformation'."

"Based on the commotion I heard you caused down at the courthouse, you apparently have the ass for it. Even managed to sidetrack Uchiha," Kakashi said, chuckling.

Haku stood, wincing slightly, and Naruto immediately put an arm under the slender man's elbow to support him. "I will be staying here in protective custody until they find him. I called my office and Kakashi explained the situation, so there will be no problem."

Naruto nodded, feeling his initial shock and perhaps squeamishness at dressing as a girl fade as he saw the damage the man had done to his friend. Who cares if Naruto had to wear a dress? He'd kick that guy's ass so hard it would make Kiba's pubes look like a GQ model in comparison to his face.

"I'm going to go rest, but I'll meet you here tomorrow, and we can go over what you'll need to do to get into character," Haku said, amusement shining in his eyes despite his current pain.

"Your partner, Zabuza, will be back by then, Naruto. You'll both get to meet him. He will be posing as Naruto's pimp, and will serve as back-up if contact is made," Kakashi said, nodding to Haku as the young man left the room. Kakashi turned back to Naruto. "Notify your landlady that you'll be away from home for possibly a few weeks. You can tell your family as well so no one calls and reports you missing. Go and pack your toothbrush. But don't bother packing any clothes. You won't be needing them."

With that disturbing statement, Kakashi pulled out an orange book, licking his thumb before flipping to a part bookmarked with a coupon from a sex hotline.

Apparently, Naruto was dismissed.

Naruto squinted to make out the title. He wasn't sure he got it right, but it looked like it read: _Icha Icha Paradise: Hookers Haven, Yaoi extended edition. Bondage and role play. _He decided that even without the cue to leave, he was feeling uncomfortable anyways.

"I'll do that immediately, Sir."

* * *

><p>-xXx-<p>

_To be continued next week..._

_(Did anyone catch the Ferris Bueller reference? If you did, thirty points to you Glen coco.)_


	2. Chapter 2 - Meet Your New Pimp

**Disclaimer:** CapturedbyNoodles and KizuKatana own nothing (that pleasure belongs to Kishimoto).

**Kizu and Noodles Author's Notes**: Okay, so we decided to update this fic hella early, ASAP, pronto for _two _reasons. One, being that it was so highly liked we felt it necessary to update it a little earlier, also blame it on anxiousness. And reason two is for a reader named **ForeverDarkRider. **Kizu and I hope this cheers you up, because I know life can be a spiraling roller coaster and sometimes you're not let off the god forsaken ride, but just know that if you hold out, in the end you'll come out a lot stronger (If you're not suffering from motion sickness). I know you can do it, so hang in there Dark Rider! ... Oh god, that really was meant to sound inspirational, but I think that came off lame. I wonder why Kizu is partnering up with me sometimes.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 - Not a Wimp, and You're Not my Pimp<strong>

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><p>"You got promoted? Where? To do WHAT?" Kiba's hands were latched onto his shoulders and Naruto was promptly shaken. <em>Multiple <em>times.

He'd invited his friend and his parents over to his apartment to tell them the news, per Kakashi's instructions, but of course leaving out the details of his case. Like that he'd be solving it in a skirt. But he hadn't even gotten halfway through explaining when his mother broke out into a high pitched squeal, and his best friend started excitedly cussing, much to his parent's disapproval.

"Wait," Kiba interrupted. "Did he fucking know about the stripping incident?!"

Naruto rubbed his temples, annoyed that Kiba kept bringing that up. "Yeah, he knew," he stated, agonized. Evidently that moment in time now had it's own name. _Oh, the joy_. "Though he still promoted me because I'm, uh… _creative._" He supplied, leaving out the other parts that sort of downplayed that meager attempt at flattery.

Kushina Uzumaki, in all her inexplicable strength, grabbed Kiba and tore him off her son with enough force to have him staggering back. In his place, Naruto flinched as his mother wrap her arms around his torso, and with little to no warning, he found himself being slowly squeezed to death by her loving hug.

"M-Mom," Naruto choked out. "Crushing…"

"Your father and I are so happy for you baby, so, so, so, _so proud._ You know, we knew this day would come. Didn't I tell you this day would come, Minato?" Kushina asked, glancing over her shoulder at her husband who flashed Naruto an apologetic smile. "I told him this would happen, and look! You were asked to join the major case squad! Like mother like son. How do you feel, sweetie?"

"Li… Like my lungs are in a compression tank," Naruto gasped, frantically pleading with his eyes for his father to step in and save him.

"You're squeezing him too tight, Kushina," Minato said gently, placing his hand on his mother's shoulder. Reluctantly, she let go as Naruto doubled over, desperately trying to suck in some air. Minato chuckled.

"I'm sure during the briefing they told you that you couldn't tell us where you were going, am I right?" Minato asked, his years of experience on the force as well as Kushina's experience with the FBI making him fully aware of how these things went.

Naruto laughed slightly self-consciously as he thought about what his parents and Kiba would say about him dressing as a transvestite hooker. Actually, his mom would probably want to help him pick out his clothes… she always had wanted a girl. But Kiba… Kiba would likely simply die laughing. Naruto briefly envisioned the tombstone. '_Kiba - died laughing his ass off.'_

"Yeah, well… it will be a few weeks before I'll see you guys, but hopefully not much longer."

"Well, since this is a big night and we might not see you for a while, let's go down to The Grand Lux to celebrate. My treat," Minato said, pride shining from his eyes. "Kiba, you can come, too. I know Naruto would never have made it this far without your help."

"Damn skippy," Kiba fist bumped Naruto, then he seemed to remember something. "Hey, man, that's right. Do you know who your new partner is going to be?"

Naruto grabbed his jacket as they headed out to the car. "Some guy named Zabuza. I'm going to meet him tomorrow."

"Zabuza...hm... you know, honey, that name sounds familiar." Kushina wondered out loud as they headed out, giving her husband a troubled look. She smiled warmly when Minato draped her coat over her shoulders, then suddenly she jolted forward, her eyes lit up. You could clearly see the light bulb go off in her head. Kushina's hands flew to her mouth.

"Zabuza!" She exclaimed, bopping a fist against her hand in declaration. "I remember now! His expertise was serial killers. He worked some of the most dangerous cases. I remember him perfectly because he was very _handsome_, young man when Mommy worked with him."

"Dad's right there, you know."

Kushina shook her head and leaned against Minato, laughing when he noticed her husbands face had sunken into a delightful pout.

"Of course _no one_ can ever compare to your father. Zabuza is a great partner, but your father is the best. That's why even though he retired, he's still remembered in your department as the Yellow Flash! No one could take down a perp faster. Why, I remember a hostage situation in the National Bank, where they were going to execute one hostage every five minutes if they didn't get a billion dollars in some off-shore account and a getaway helicopter to get them to safety. Of course that was _never _going to happen, but everyone was in a panic, everyone _except _your father…"

"Kushina," Minato murmured rather embarrassed, "They've probably already heard the story."

"Not the parts _I _can tell them," Kushina answered back, her violet eyes sparkling with amusement, obviously enjoying making her husband flustered. "While the gunman was on the phone with the hostage negotiator from the police, your father scaled the wall from the back of the thirty story building to the roof, and then crawled through the air vents! He did all of this while trying to ask me out through his walkie talkie. It was so cute."

"Kushina…" Minato said again, rather helplessly.

"How could Dad be talking to you on the walkie talkie? Were you there or something?"

"Yes, sweetie. I was the hostage negotiator for the FBI at the time. Your dad was jealous that I was talking so much to another man; he had to cut the situation short. So he took out his gun, jumped from the vents, and shot him straight in the -"

"H-Hey, ENOUGH Kushina. If we don't leave now we'll be late for our dinner reservations, and I _know_ you want to celebrate our son's promotion properly, right?"

Kushina sighed at the pointed statement her husband was trying to make. But she supposed Naruto didn't _really_ need to know he'd shot the man in the balls. Of course, the man was about to execute the first hostage, and had started to ask Kushina for more than just the money and an escape vehicle. Evidently he'd had a bit of a fetish for redheads, since he kept referring to her as one _tasty tomato_.

"Alright then. Let's go down to the car and celebrate this happy news _properly_, since Minato wants us to be proper about it."

"It would be a first for this family," Minato mumbled under his breath.

* * *

><p>They walked into the restaurant, and were shown a table. It helped that they were after the dinner rush. Minato had called ahead, so the wait was minimal.<p>

Naruto had just taken his seat between Kiba and his mom, gouging the price of a lobster dishes that could nearly help pay his rent, when he happened to look up and find two sets of coal black eyes fixed on him.

"Oh, _hell_ no," Naruto cursed.

Kushina kicked him under the table.

"What?" Naruto said indignantly. "You swear more than Dad does!"

Kushina put on her most dignified expression. "Yes, dear, but not in public."

Naruto didn't have to look up to know that someone was standing next to his seat.

"Nice to see you decided to wear pants in public this time, Uzumaki," Sasuke said. Naruto knew that the only reason he hadn't called Naruto something worse than just his last name was because Minato and Kushina were sitting right next to him, looking at Sasuke warmly. "Kushina, Minato…. nice to see you both this evening," Sasuke said politely. He always had good 'meet the parents' manners, and it pissed Naruto off.

"Sasuke!" Kiba grinned. "Whatever could be _attracting_ you to our table?"

Sasuke's glare could have set the table-cloth on fire.

"Mutt. They're still letting you out in public?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who can't follow the 'no pants no shirt no service' rule," Kiba said, shooting Naruto an evil grin.

"Sasuke," Minato cut in, sensing the rising tension in his son. "So nice to see you after all this time. I heard you graduated law school in record time. Congratulations."

"Thank you," Sasuke said cordially, earning a small growl from Naruto. Why couldn't Sasuke ever talk to _him _like that?

"You should come over for dinner sometime, Sasuke. It would be so nice to catch up," Kushina grinned.

"No it wouldn't…"

"Did you say something, _Naruto_?" Sasuke turned and looked directly into Naruto's eyes. His dark gaze was somehow much more intense than usual. Naruto scowled, almost unnerved by the look Sasuke was giving.

"No, I didn't… Ugh, don't you have somewhere to be? I think I see your brother over there. Why don't you take a walk or something… into the ocean."

"Naruto!" Kushina reprimanded. "That's no way to speak to your old school friend. Apologize to Sasuke. I'm sure he'd be happy to hear about your 'big news' too."

Sasuke's face tensed, looking as though he were bracing for bad news. But he simply raised a brow. "News, Dobe?"

The familiar nickname only further exasperated him.

Naruto avoided eye contact some more, muttering under his breath, "...Why should I tell you...snide jerk...none of your damn business..." He was kicked under the table again, and he stopped mumbling. Reluctantly, he cleared his throat. "I was… promoted," Naruto said tersely.

"Kakashi heard Naruto's ass was able to derail you in court, and they promoted him to the major case squad for it. Would have given him a fucking medal, but the verdict isn't final yet."

Sasuke almost never lost a case. But if he lost this one, it would be a major win for the department. They took people who shot cops seriously.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the gleeful, brown look Kiba was sending him.

"Naruto's ass is pretty powerful, you know? Half the department sent him get well cards, and ninety-percent of them weren't even for Naruto. They were for his ass."

Sasuke scowled. "Who was sending this idiot flowers?"

"Oh, yes! I sent his ass some flowers… but just one bunch. Not all the ones all over his desk," Kushina chimed in, laughing as Naruto's face turned crimson. "But Naruto has always had admirers. Now you tell me, who is that nice-looking boy who works in vice? He looks a bit like Sasuke, doesn't he? What was his name again, honey?"

Kiba's smiled now stretched to his ears.

"Sai? Oh yeah, he's new. Just got him this year. I think he sent Naruto one of the bouquets, you know, the one with the white roses?"

"Now there's a lovely boy. Sending flowers. And his experience on the vice squad would make him an excellent lover. Plus he'd be someone you'd see at work. That's how your father and I met," Kushina said, sending a love-sodden glance at her husband.

Kiba eyed Kushina for a minute. She had NEVER mentioned Sai before. A slow smirk grew on his face. He always knew Naruto's mom was clever, and that cleverness was affirmed with a knowing glance his way. The exchange was quick and subtle, but it was enough to keep Kiba going as Naruto's mom giggled.

"But mom… I'm… not gay?"

"Oh sure you're not sweetie, but it doesn't mean you can't appreciate chivalry. Or eye candy. Isn't that right Minato?"

"She's absolutely right."

"I'm sure that if Naruto decided to date someone, he could do a lot better than just someone who chases hookers for a living," Sasuke found himself saying slightly hostilely. Naruto glanced at him, surprised. Sasuke sounded kind of different just then, or was it his imagination? They locked eyes.

"Oh?" Kiba asked innocently, and Kushina glowed. "Anyone particular in mind?"

"Yes, _little_ _brother_. Anyone in particular?" Itachi had walked over during the conversation, and turned and greeted Naruto's parents respectfully.

Sasuke broke eye contact with Naruto to glare at his brother, trying in vain to hide the flush that was spreading across his cheekbones before he turned and stalked back to their table.

Itachi smiled at the ever oblivious Naruto. "It was good to see you again, Naruto. It has been too long. Though I have to say, it was even more exciting to see you the other day in the court, when you made such a lasting impression on my little brother."

Naruto paled slightly at the thought that not only had he undressed in front of Sasuke, but he had undressed in front of _Itachi_. "Please just shoot me now," he mumbled.

Feeling his mission complete, Itachi returned to finish his dinner with his darling sibling, who was looking like he was close to throwing their table through the nearest plate glass window.

* * *

><p>When Kakashi called the next morning to inform him that his 'new' apartment was ready, Naruto went to the police station to walk Haku over. They would be meeting Zabuza at the apartment, as the man had already gone over to scope the place out. Kakashi led them just a few blocks over but headed towards the worst part of town. Naruto could tell when it started getting shady, because in nicer neighborhoods you didn't see homeless men starting bonfires in convenience store trash cans, nor did you see men in business suits disappearing into alleyways with suitcases, before reemerging with bags and bags of white powder or multicolored pills that did NOT come with a prescription.<p>

The cars parked along the streets were no longer shiny BMWs or even Toyotas, but - where the brands were even recognizable - Naruto saw Pintos and various older model Fords and Chevy's up on blocks with windows smashed and rusted paint peeling. It became obvious to him, as they neared a couple of questionably habitable apartments, that where they would be staying would be the opposite of ritzy. As they pushed open a broken down gate, aged from years of rain and grime - and graffiti-ed by local delinquents - Naruto could hear a man from his third floor window, yelling at his wife for misplacing the _hash. _

He tried to ignore the churning feeling in his stomach, that was only aggravated by the smells of urine and excrement leaking out of a broken pipe, as he trekked up a pair of creaking stairs. He had _arrested _ people in places like this. He just never imagined that he'd be _living _in one.

Naruto fastened an arm around Haku's waist to help him to the fifth floor, despite Haku's insistence that he would be fine on his own. Kakashi led them to a door with a broken handle and knocked twice. Naruto noted, in contrast to the rough surroundings, there was a 'Welcome Home,' mat under their feet.

Naruto looked over at Kakashi, feeling some trepidation about what they were going to find behind the door. Kakashi kicked up the corner of the mat, revealing a worn looking key hidden 'cleverly' under the very conspicuous doormat.

The silver-haired man motioned for Naruto to 'do the honors'.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Naruto muttered, picking up the key and trying not to think about the composition of grime that covered it. But the key turned smoothly in the lock, and the door swung open.

To reveal a complete and utter shit-hole of an apartment.

"Um… you might want to lift your skirt before walking inside," Kakashi said to Haku before stepping in.

Naruto and Haku exchanged glances before shrugging then walking in. The furniture looked like it had been rescued after spending three months abandoned in a dump somewhere, and smelled about as bad. The kitchen was at least empty of food or garbage, but Naruto wouldn't hold his breath for any of the appliances actually working.

"Damn, Kakashi. The department went all out getting us a place to stay for this case, eh?" Naruto said, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

Kakashi was about to hang up his coat, but at the state of the coat rack, littered with termites and ants alike, he decided against it. "Naruto, you would be surprised with how true to life this space is. Prostitution is common among the homeless, and when you're factoring in looks with convenience, an apartment like this is the only quick, affordable option to choose from. There's a kitchen, a mattress to sleep in, and a roof over your head. Trust me, when you're bringing someone back at three in the morning with all the lights off, the last thing you are they for that matter worry about is how the floor looks. This is actually decent compared to the places I've seen. And of course, you will be living here with your pimp to keep you safe and make sure you don't pocket more than your fair cut of the money," Kakashi winked.

"Captain, you sound a little _too _knowledgeable about this sort of thing."

Kakashi shrugged his shoulders, but underneath the scarf tightly wrapped around his mouth, Naruto could see the faintest outlines of a smile. "We're looking to transform you into a prostitute, Officer Uzumaki. What could help you more, in terms of authenticity, than having you live in a similar fashion to those you'll be working with. Who knows, maybe in a few weeks you'll grow to like this place."

"There's not much to like," Naruto was saying, eyeing the mold across the ceiling, when the bathroom door opened and a tall, extremely well-built man came out wearing only a pair of jeans. His well muscled chest was still damp and rosy from the heat of the shower.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Haku murmured, his eyes following the path of a stray droplet of water that trickled down between the man's pectorals.

"Shower works," Zabuza said to no one in particular. A roach raced across the table and without even glancing at it he crushed it with his bare hand. "Place is still a dump, though."

"Naruto, let me introduce you to your new partner, Zabuza Momochi. Or should I say… your new pimp," Kakashi snickered a bit at the sharp and slightly panicked look Naruto sent Kakashi.

"Zabuza, this is Naruto. I expect you to break him in thoroughly. He's fresh meat, so you have to show him the ropes and explain how things work. Naruto had the top number of arrests for any rookie in the department when he joined, and has a long record of using unpredictable approaches to solve cases. That, and his 'natural assets' were why we assigned him to the case."

Zabuza assessed Naruto in a cursory, business-like way as Kakashi continued with the introductions. "Naruto, Zabuza is one of our most experienced agents in the division. He has closed more than a dozen high profile cases this year, including some that had been open for over a decade. He's currently the most decorated officer in the unit. If he tells you to jump, you jump. If he asks you to bend over, you ask him how far and if he would like a dance with that."

Zabuza looked Naruto up and down, like he wasn't impressed, before he rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed at being paired with someone so young on a case this important. His eyes flicked to Haku, about to pass by, but then locked back on again.

"And who are you?" Zabuza asked directly.

Haku stiffened slightly, feeling uncomfortably under the scrutiny given the current condition of his bruised face.

"Haku is the only victim of the killer who has survived. He cut a piece out of the guy before escaping, so thanks to him we not only have a sketch of his face, but DNA to match it with if you and Naruto do your jobs right and draw him out. He'll be helping Naruto look and act the part. Since Haku's already done half your job for you, think you two can handle the rest or do you need Haku to handle that, too?" Kakashi said, the taunt being felt by both Zabuza and Naruto.

Zabuza snorted, but his eyes remained fixed on Haku. "So you escaped, huh?"

"Haku is awesome," Naruto stepped up, placing a hand on Haku's shoulder and - seeing the uncomfortable look on his face - squeezing it to reassure him. "Nearly gutted the fucker clean like a chinese fish before he went to the hospital. He doesn't go down easily."

Zabuza frowned at the closeness of Naruto's body to Haku's.

On a roll, Naruto continued, wanting to be sure that no one looked down on Haku or treated him like some helpless victim. "Yeah, don't let his gorgeous face fool you. This guy is totally badass. He's a third degree black belt in the dojo I train at. Beats my ass almost daily. Almost whooped my friend Kiba into a coma the last time he sparred with him. Let me tell you, when this guy is done with your ass, you can hardly walk the next day. I was limping for a week the first time."

"Naruto, you're exaggerating," Haku said, his cheeks reddening under both the intensity of Zabuza's lingering gaze as well as Naruto's unintentional innuendos.

"I'm not even joking! I was sore for about a month the first time I fought with him, he _really _doesn't hold back!"

"Ok, so while we're on the topic of Naruto having a sore ass and limping," Kakashi said, his perverted smirk visible through the cloth that covered his face. "We have three days before Naruto needs to hit the streets as irresistible bait for our killer. He only appears to go after very good-looking prostitutes."

"Obviously," Zabuza said, glancing not too subtly at Haku.

"Haku is _not _a prostitute," Naruto said, his eyes narrowing as he suddenly felt like Zabuza might be getting the wrong idea. "He works as an acupuncturist in a physical therapy facility. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I'll need to do some shopping," Haku said, trying to diffuse the suddenly tense air. He assessed Naruto's body with a critical eye. "I have a pretty good idea what size would work best for you, and what colors and styles."

"You're not going out by yourself," Zabuza said unexpectedly when Naruto had opened his mouth to say the same thing. "I'll go with you."

"I can take Haku," Naruto began, but Zabuza cut him off.

"You stay here and clean the place up and put a lock on the door that actually will keep someone out," Zabuza said tersely.

"But I -" Naruto began, but Kakashi cut him off.

"If he says bend over…"

* * *

><p>Haku had spend the entire next day shopping with Zabuza, though Naruto secretly wondered if it were really to spend that much time picking out the appropriately sleazy outfits for him, or if the two just wanted to spend time together.<p>

Naruto had spent the day emptying cans of Raid to kill the roaches and shoving the moldy, disgusting chairs off the fire escape. He installed two dead bolts on the front door as well as a heavy steel window latch on the fire escape entrance. No point in taking chances when you're bait for a serial killer.

He went and bought a cheap but new (and therefore clean) futon for the living room, deciding after looking at the single bed that was crawling with bed bugs, that he would generously let Zabuza have the bedroom all to himself.

When Haku and Zabuza finally returned around dinner time, they were carrying bundles of clothing bags. Naruto eyed them warily, especially since he could see sequins glinting from at least one of them.

"So… I suppose I need to try all this stuff on now?"

Haku smiled kindly while Zabuza grinned evilly. "Not yet, Naruto. There's one thing you need to do first."

.

.

.

.

.

Naruto stared at the can of shaving cream in his hand.

He used it on his face almost every day. But this was... _not_ the same. He leaned his head against the bathroom mirror, bracing his hands on the sink. He would _not_ be intimidated by a can of shaving cream. It would _not _defeat him. Shaving his legs would _not_ turn him into a girl.

_"Are you doing ok in there, Naruto?"_ Haku's voice came through the door. His friend had offered to help but... no. Just no.

"Um... yeah. Fine," Naruto said, finely manning up and spraying some of the creamy foam into his left hand. He eyed the foam slightly hostilely for a moment before gritting his teeth, and lifting his foot up to the sink. He splashed some warm water on his leg with his free hand, then smoothed the foam up over his shin and calf.

_Swimmers shave their legs all the time, _Naruto thought, positioning the razor over his virgin shinbone. _I bet wrestlers do, too. And Olympic athletes._ He slowly pulled up the razor, needing to stop about halfway to rinse the blade before continuing. He watched the hair and foam go down the drain. It _did not _carry his manliness with it.

"Say, Haku," Naruto asked insecurely, repeating the motion of the razor to continue bearing the flesh of his lower leg. "How much of my legs do I need to shave?"

"_All of it,"_ Haku said sweetly.

Naruto held his breath, staring at his crotch.

"Does… that include…"

"_Yes." _Came the death sentence. Naruto breathed out and closed his eyes, hovering the razor over a place _no _razor was _ever _supposed to go.

He decided it was a good thing he wasn't currently dating anyone. _No one will know. It's ok. It will grow back, and no one will ever know. _ He continued bringing the razor across his skin until he was, as the damn saying goes, smooth as a babies bottom. Seeing his legs, his _private area,_ so naked and… _sleak, _was honestly more unsettling than the prospect that he could be caught by the serial killer and killed during the course of the investigation. He was used to the idea of the latter.

_"Are you done, Naruto?" _Haku asked again, sounding kind of worried. Naruto had gone quiet for a good ten minutes, just staring at his legs now freed from the hair had marked his successful passage through puberty. The fine blond hairs had been the perfect balance of not too much, but still 'manly'. Luckily, his back and chest had been relatively hair-free due to genetics, so he didn't have to shave anything more.

"_Did you shave EVERYTHING?"_ Kakashi called out. Naruto didn't need to see the man's face to hear his shit-eating grin.

"Fuck you, Kakashi. But...Yeah," He croaked, silently saying his farewells as he turned on the water and rinsed the residual hair down the drain. _I'll miss you, _he told it. He drew a deep breath and pulled on some boxers. He'd show them his legs, but they'd just have to take his word on the rest of it. Steeling himself for being paraded once again semi-naked in public, he twisted the door knob and tried not to blush at Haku's widening smile… and _several _others.

"You look like a very high end hooker, Officer Uzumaki. I didn't know you had a tattoo. Very sexy," Kakashi said, holding up a camcorder that belonged to someone that _wasn't _there several minutes agowhen Naruto made the brave journey into the restroom. Naruto's hands flew to cover himself when he noticed Sai from his department was a spectator to his ridicule. Haku stood next to Zabuza, starry eyed. Zabuza whistled as he stood in his tangerine boxers, and Naruto grew more mortified.

"Looks good, baby_. _Give daddy a good old twirl," Zabuza said, making it clear who Naruto's Daddy would be on this assignment by giving Naruto's ass a slap.

"Ow, fuck! What the hell Zabuza!"

"So you really have a penis after all… Can I help you break him in, Zabuza?"

"Wait a fucking second, what's Sai doing here?! What's with the camera? Put that thing away!" Naruto cried, jabbing a finger in Kakashi's direction, and earning a sigh from his superior who reluctantly shut the device and stuffed it in his woolly jacket.

"Naruto, Sai is your back-up from vice. He knows the ropes and the streets. He'll be the one monitoring your tracker and listening in on the wire to make sure nothing goes wrong. As a member of the team, he's as entitled as the rest of us are to admire your lovely legs. And I must say, they really are _lovely_."

"If you think his legs are nice, you should see his ass," Sai helpfully supplied.

"Wow," Haku gazed in awe. He twirled his finger in the air, beckoning for Naruto to spin around slowly. Naruto begrudgingly did so, earning himself another slap on the ass. But this one was from Haku of all people. "You have a _really _nice ass. Are you sure you've never been with a man before?"

"I'm pretty sure I would remember if I had cock before, Haku," Naruto said while locking Sai into a choke hold.

"Actually, if you want to see his ass more clearly, there's this video here on YouTube…" Kakashi began to pull out his phone.

"Hey! I thought there were no cameras in the courtroom! What the fuck, Kakashi!"

"Naruto, social media runs the world. Thinking there wouldn't be footage of your stunning performance with Judge Tsunade is naive of you."

Haku giggled, waving his hand back and forth as Sai's face went from red to purple, Naruto's forearm still hard across his throat.

"Just teasing. Now," He handed Naruto one of the large shopping bags, forcing him to stop strangling their teammate. He turned Naruto around, and pushed him back into the bathroom. "Put those on and make sure to try _everything _in there, understood?"

Naruto peeked into the bag, noticing the first thing he saw was a padded bra and a lace thong. His face was ashen white when he remembered just how fucking hard it was taking off his girlfriend's bra back in high school. How he spent _fifteen-minutes _ruining the mood by struggling with all the stupid, tiny hooks and complicated straps and then accidentally snapping her with it _twice_. He had gotten better with practice, but the objects still left him feeling slightly traumatized.

He drew a deep breath. He could do this. He'd stared down killers with guns, junkies high on crack, and crabby, large-breasted judges with wicked mallets. He _would not_ be defeated by ladies' underwear. He would overcome this obstacle, just like he overcame that incident in the courtroom.

Sort of.

Closing the door to the bathroom behind him, he dumped the articles of clothing onto the floor. He eyed the panties skeptically, knowing there was no way in HELL he was going to fit all of the… necessary...appendage… in there. But he dutifully pulled them on anyway, telling himself that at least the tight, red leather skirt would cover him up. He had pulled the skirt on when he realized he hadn't put the garter belt and stockings on. Muttering under his breath about how hard it was to remember to do everything in reverse from the way he usually dealt with women's clothing, he jerked the skirt off and rolled the stockings up over his newly smoothed legs and fastened them to the garter belt.

He pulled the skirt on with ease, but then had to face his nemesis. He _hated_ bras. For multiple reasons, but the one in play here was their retarded design. After several minutes of wrestling with it and managing only to get one arm tied to the other, he sucked in a breath, attempted to lift it over his head to try again, and was nearly strangled to death by the offending piece of clothing. When he attempted it this time with the idea that he'd lock the hooks _after _he slipped his arms through the straps, he didn't anticipate that his arms not be flexible enough to reach around his back to do so.

Naruto swore out loud, kicking the bathroom counter when he realized putting it on was a _lot _harder than taking it off. Who invented these shitty things anyways?

"Um… Haku? A-a little help here?"

Haku chuckled. "I was wondering how long it would take you to call me."

Haku made short work of the bra, adjusting it in place and helping Naruto with the complicated top that finished off the outfit. They had decided that Naruto's leg was healed enough that he didn't need the bandage, and they would cover the wound with a smooth, black silk band tied around his thigh over the stitches. The effect was rather erotic.

"Now, just put these on and you're all set," Haku said, handing Naruto a pair of shoes that more closely resembled medieval torture devices. His leg still ached from where he'd been shot three weeks ago, and he was not looking forward to having to walk in high heels. Little did he know that his leg would be the least of his worries compared to the agony of his feet. Hopefully he wouldn't have to chase any suspects on foot for the next week until his leg was more fully recovered. But given the killer's timing, he should be healed before the real action went down.

When the bathroom door opened and Naruto stepped out, even Kakashi couldn't help but stare. And Kakashi was straight. He thinks.

Sai cleared his throat.

"Permission to take care of a worsening issue in the bathroom, Captain."

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_Till next time..._


	3. Chapter 3 - Liar, Liar, Skirt on Fire

**Disclaimer:** CapturedbyNoodles and KizuKatana own nothing (that pleasure belongs to Kishimoto, who better step up in the manga and end this thing properly with a resolution between our two favorite dummies).

**Kizu and Noodles Author's Notes**: Why hello! Kizu and I have been really on top of our chapters, so we'll be updating every Sunday (Or every other Sunday) to end your weekend on a little less stressful note (if we have the power to do so). Honestly, I'm updating right now selfishly for me...because my week has been gosh darn awful in every literal sense of the word _awful _and this fic...really, it's a pick-me-upper. Anyways, I really hope you guys like it! Kizu again is an _amazing _person, an _amazing _author, and the fact that I've gotten to know her and least of all _write _with her has been an incredible experience and just a pleasure. Really.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Liar, Liar, Skirt on Fire<strong>

* * *

><p>Naruto lay on his futon, after successfully defending his right to the cleaner bed. Again. Tomorrow he was going to make Zabuza buy his own damn bed and get that infested one out of their apartment.<p>

It would be his first day in the field. Zabuza and Kakashi had assured him that he just needed to _look _the part. Though Naruto still wondered why that meant he had needed to shave his balls. They'd developed a plan to implement a few fail safes, just to make sure Naruto didn't end up turning tricks for real. He was willing to put his ass on the line, but… not literally… his _ass_. At least he hoped it wouldn't come to that.

He closed his eyes, knowing he would have to be at his best tomorrow, to be able to keep an eye on the working _girls_ he had met over the past few days. Sai had explained the ropes in terms of needing to get the local pimp's permission to work the same street. It was a cutthroat business, and hookers (especially their pimps) were very territorial, but after they explained the situation it was obvious that serial killers were a lot worse for business than cops.

The main pimp in the area was a fifty-something man named Jiraya, with white hair, facial tattoos, and built like a mountain. For some reason, Naruto had hit it off with the guy, and he had basically agreed to give Naruto and Zabuza _carte blanche_ with handling the situation as long as they didn't stop his regulars from getting some business. Naruto had explained the situation to the prostitutes, and when they found out he was willing to go as 'one of them', they had warmed up to him as well.

Now it would be on him to make sure none of them got killed.

His biggest fear was not so much his ability to _catch_ the killer, but to keep him in jail. _Fucking defense lawyers_, Naruto thought to himself, drifting off to sleep with the face of his most hated lawyer and rival in his mind.

* * *

><p><em>It was senior year and, as usual, Naruto and Sasuke were arguing. Their ethics teacher had gotten so annoyed that he had taken the portable white board and moved it to stand between them so they were unable to see each other during class. Not that it helped things much.<em>

_"Dumbass, that's a pretty simplistic way of looking at it," Sasuke's condescending voice drifted over the whiteboard separation, somehow still managing to carry with it the image of his arrogant smirk._

_"Are you calling me stupid, bastard? Just because I happen to believe in right and wrong doesn't mean I'm dumb. I just have morals. But I suppose an asshole like you wouldn't know anything about that," Naruto said, feeling like maybe he'd finally scored a point._

_"Just because my moral code isn't scrawled out in orange crayon for everyone to read doesn't mean I don't have one, Dobe."_

_Naruto was just about to make a dive through the whiteboard and smash the Uchiha's pretty face into it when their teacher, Iruka, interrupted._

_"Uzumaki! Uchiha! I am tired of you boys disrupting my classroom. There is no swearing allowed on school grounds. If you have so much to say on the matter, then I will let you debate it properly. On Monday, we will have you do a Spontaneous Argumentation debate on this topic. Naruto, you can take the side of 'the importance of always telling the truth'. Sasuke, you can take the counterpoint. The outcome of the debate will be worth twenty percent of your grade for this quarter. Despite this being in the SPAR format, I am also assigning a full written draft of your key argument points to be turned in at the start of the debate."_

_Naruto groaned as the bell rang. Thanks to the asshole, he now had an entire debate to flesh out by Monday. And it was Friday. His whole weekend was shot. He wanted to kill Sasuke. He had made plans with Kiba and the guys to hang out. Sasuke, the giant dick, probably knew this and was laughing about it._

_Naruto was at his locker, just about to grab his books for his last class of the day when a shadow loomed over him from behind. Naruto scowled, already knowing who it was without turning around. It was like Sasuke radiated his own fragrance of douche that Naruto could smell from a mile away. _

_Sasuke shoved his hand against Naruto's locker door, closing it just as Naruto was pulling his backpack out, almost slamming his fingers in the door. _

_"Watch the hand, asswipe!" Naruto growled._

_"Make sure you're ready for me on Monday, Dobe. You don't want you to make an even bigger idiot of yourself than you usually do in class."_

_Naruto scoffed, letting out a loud, amused snort. He turned around to face his adversary but was stunned into silence when he noticed just how close their faces were. Sasuke had leaned forward, his bangs brushing against Naruto's forehead in a silent display of aggression. Naruto was effectively pinned between Sasuke and the locker. He saw a teacher walking by, eyeing them, preventing Naruto from body slamming Sasuke into the floor. _

_He swallowed, trying to remain calm although every nerve in his body was tingling, and his hands were aching to dislocate the other's jaw. _

_"Back off, will you? Or do you think threatening me will help your chances at winning?"_

_"My chance of winning against you is already 100%, dumbass. I don't need any help for that. I just want you to prepare for it so at least it's worth my time." Sasuke shifted his weight back, giving Naruto some space, but his eyes kept Naruto pinned where he was._

_Somehow the place where Sasuke's body had been pressed against him felt strange. Naruto brushed aside the fleeting thought that he had preferred the closer contact. Because that would make no sense. Sasuke was the class president and captain of both the swim team and the debate team. He was good at fucking EVERYTHING and knew it. A shitface of a classmate who always tried to make Naruto look stupid or piss him off, despite Naruto being quarterback of their school's varsity football team and pulling decent grades himself. Sasuke never acknowledged that Naruto was good at anything._

_There was no way Naruto would enjoy the other's presence. In his personal space. With his shirt partially unbuttoned. _

_Naruto's breath hitched. For a guy who didn't seem to like the attention of the girls that always swarmed him, he always seemed to be wearing shit that drew attention to his chest. Wait. Why was Naruto looking there, anyways? He shook himself._

_"What, no response? I guess even you know a lost cause when you see one." Sasuke turned to walk away._

_This time Naruto didn't care that there was a teacher standing right there. He tackled Sasuke to the floor and drew back his fist to punch Sasuke in the face. But Sasuke saw it coming and grabbed his wrist. He pushed it away and Naruto swore as Sasuke grabbed him by the neck of his shirt and jerked him violently forward. Naruto head-butted him, forcing Sasuke to let go. They rolled around the tile floor, each panting and struggling to gain some control. _

_Naruto finally got the upper-hand by leveraging his body weight forward and pinning Sasuke down. In a move aimed at dislodging Naruto, Sasuke bucked his hips up, causing Naruto to fall forward unexpectedly. He managed to catch himself from falling completely but their lips ended up colliding together. They both froze as they realized that they were… KISSING… on the floor of the school hallway with no small number of people gathered to see their usual Friday afternoon fight._

_Naruto jerked his head back as though scalded, breaking the kiss. He licked his lips, noticing they were tingling, and his face flushed a deep crimson. "Fucker! You… you did that on purpose!"_

_"Yes, Naruto. Because clearly I'd want to kiss the dumbest loudmouth in the entire school right in front of everyone. Are you enjoying yourself, or can you get off me now?"_

_"Wait a fucking minute, what's that supposed to mean, huh?!"_

_"Did I mention DUMBEST? It means I want you to get off me."_

_"I'll get off when I'm good and ready, ASSHOLE!" _

_Sasuke raised an eyebrow, his expression shifting from annoyed to something far more predatory. Naruto continued to sit on top of him, his face scrunched up in embarrassment as he tried to think of a way to erase the embarrassing series of events that had led to this. "Do you want me to make you… ready... Na-ru-to?" Sasuke's voice was low and smooth, very unlike his usual taunting tone. "I'd be more than happy to prepare you any time you like. All you had to do was ask."_

_Naruto felt a coil of what he could only describe as nervousness snake through his body. "Um… I should get going home now. Now I'm good and ready..." He hated to feel like he was running from a fight, but there was something about the way that Sasuke was looking at him that made him feel like he was out of his depth suddenly._

_Sasuke's deep chuckle floated after him. Naruto wasn't sure he'd ever actually heard Sasuke laugh before. It was… almost a nice sound. _

* * *

><p><em><strong>Monday morning - Ethics class<strong>_

_Naruto gritted his teeth, trying to not let himself be rattled. They were only five minutes into the debate, and already Sasuke was winning._

_"So… if your mother walked in and asked you if she looked nice, and she was wearing a dress that you hated, what would you tell her?" _

_"I would, uh..." That was a hard question. Naruto didn't want to imagine what would happen to him if he told his mother she looked awful. Even though it was extremely unlikely that his mother could ever look bad._

_"Wouldn't you tell her that she looked nice? Or don't her feelings matter to you?"_

_Naruto shook his head, frowning. "I would tell her that I think another dress would be more suited for her, is all…"_

_"Is that really what you'd say, Naruto, or are you lying to me now to give an answer that supports the side of the debate you're supposed to be on?"_

_"I'm not lying," Naruto tried to keep the irritation out of his voice, for fear of sounding childish. "I would just, you know, suggest she wear something else…She looks great in anything, but I'd tell her she looked better in something more, uh, flattering..."_

_"And what if she cooked something god-awful for dinner, and asked you how it was?" Sasuke said, clearly skeptical._

_"I would tell her that it was a really good try, and that if she practiced more, it'll taste even better next time."_

_"So you would tell your mother she needs to practice more?"_

_Sasuke turned and faced the room. "Inuzuka," he said, drawing the attention of Naruto's best friend. "You've had dinner many times at the Uzumaki household, right? As Naruto's best friend?"_

_Kiba looked nervously at Sasuke, then at Naruto, already feeling the walls of the trap closing in. "Yes?"_

_"Have you ever eaten when Naruto's mother cooked a … not quite edible meal?" Kushina Uzumaki had many talents. Cooking was not one of them. It was a well-known fact_

_"Um..." Kiba shot a panicked 'what the fuck am I supposed to say' glance at Naruto. "I guess?"_

_Sasuke smirked. "And what did Naruto say to his mother when she asked him how it was?" _

_Kiba squirmed in his seat, swallowing some saliva to quench his suddenly dry throat. "He said she should practice more next time and… thanked her ...for ...trying." Kiba was a terrible liar._

_"And what you said there, Inuzuka, was a lie," Sasuke said calmly. He looked across the room, his dark eyes settling on the familiar form of their green, spandex wearing classmate, Lee. Sasuke's lips lifted slowly into a smirk as he noticed Naruto's panicked expression beginning to show itself. They both knew full well that if there was anyone in this room, much less this world, that couldn't tell a lie, it was Lee. Lee was on the football team. Kushina often had the team over for dinner before a big game to make sure they all ate well, viewing them as almost an extension of the family. "Lee, you've also been invited to the Uzumaki household a few times, am I correct?"_

_Lee's eyes widened a fraction, seeming surprised that he was called, until his mouth opened into a bright smile, molar to molar. "Why yes I have indeed, Sasuke! It was a most marvelous time! I enjoy the company of my teammate and his wonderful family. They are quite hospitable!"_

_"And was there ever a time when Naruto found the food less than delicious?"_

_"Ah, well…"_

_Kiba was making frantic hand gestures while shaking his head wildly and mouthing the words 'I don't remember.'_

_"That is indeed a mind boggling question. Hm, I seem to recall several times, actually, where my wonderful friend Naruto mentioned, if I remember correctly, that eating his mother's home cooked meals was 'painful', and he would rather, 'eat horse shit, because at least it'd have flavor.'" Lee recited, all with his virtuously harmless smile. _

_Sasuke turned and looked smugly at Naruto and Kiba (who was frozen mid-hand-flail). "So, Naruto. You were saying that only people who are morally bankrupt would lie to serve their own purposes. Are you saying that your best friend Kiba here is morally bankrupt?"_

_"N...No! I'm not saying that. Kiba was just trying to be a good friend. It's because he has morals that he uh...altered the truth a little for me."_

_"So what you're saying is that it's fine to lie or commit other acts of wrongfulness when it suits you, but other people who do it should be punished or at least viewed as generally dishonest and untrustworthy. That's a very interesting view on morality that you have, Naruto. I believe Hitler and other dictators had similar views on things."_

_"Wait a goddamn minute…-!"_

_"Naruto, language." Iruka reprimanded sternly._

_"I mean, look, the guy just called me Hitler! What the f-" Naruto stopped himself under Iruka's glare, then backtracked, pointing a finger at his sneaky opponent. "Was there anything in the rules that said Sasuke here could bring in witnesses? 'Cause if there is I'd like to see it. I thought this was a debate that was between my opponent and me. Using other people to make his point rather than do it on his own is definitely against the rules, isn't it?"_

_"Well…" Iruka began, seemingly not totally sure himself. "Normally you are right. The debate should be between just the two of you, though Sasuke wasn't actually having others debate for him, but rather serve as examples... Hm…"_

_"I don't mind if we don't use Inuzuka or Lee further in this debate… I've already made my point. Naruto clearly has an issue with honesty, despite being a proponent of it in this debate."_

_"I don't have an issue with honestly, I have an issue with jerks." _

_"That's not the only issue you have," Sasuke delivered snidely. _

_"Bastard!"_

_"Boys, please watch your language. And stay on topic," Iruka said, trying to maintain order. _

_"Then what are you saying, that it's okay to lie all the freaking time?"_

_"Of course not. What I am saying is that there are more important things than narrowly defined rules of conduct. It is a case of the ends justifying the means, rather than being tied down by external rules on what type of behavior is acceptable. It's about seeing the bigger picture. If your overall goal is to make your mom happy, it shouldn't matter if you tell her she looks nice in a horrible dress."_

_"But that's still lying!"_

_"Then if all lies are black and white, what about omissions?"_

_"Huh?" Naruto asked, not sure where Sasuke was going._

_"Is it a lie to simply not tell someone what you know to be the truth?"_

_"Well… I don't know. I guess it depends on what you're talking about."_

_"For example, if you were kissed by someone, and you liked it, is it right to simply pretend it didn't interest you, or should one be required to be honest with that person because, as you put it, honesty is the best policy?"_

_Neji choked on his gum, and Kiba coughed frantically._

_Naruto opened his mouth, then closed it again. Realizing he probably looked like a gaping fish, he thought desperately for something to say. Sasuke was… talking about their kiss. Right? And he was saying… he was saying…_

_Just then the bell rang. _

_"Boys..." Iruka said rather tiredly, "Naruto, Sasuke, please stay after. Everyone else can go for lunch. You're dismissed."_

_Naruto wordlessly nodded his head, but his large blue eyes remained fixed on Sasuke as his rival stepped off his makeshift podium and brushed past him… with the hints of a smile lingering on his face._

* * *

><p>"Kid. Get up."<p>

Naruto groaned as two hands - rough and calloused - mercilessly shook him awake.

He sat up slowly, bringing his knuckles to his eyes in hopes of smearing the sleep out of them. When his vision cleared, Naruto was met with Zabuza's ever annoyed mug. In his hands were two cups of coffee. Shoving one of them towards Naruto's chest, Zabuza sighed and motioned with his head towards the door.

"Time to work. Drink that, then get dressed. We've got a long day, and I can't have my _bitch _messing up because she needed her beauty sleep."

Naruto took the cup in his hand and dazedly sipped at it, too numb from the dream to comment on the jab or Zabuza's rare, if indirect, act of kindness.

_High school, huh_. Naruto's lips rested on the rim of the cup. He hadn't expected to dream about that time. Naruto supposed he remembered that debate because he was thinking about Sasuke's stupid skills as a defense attorney before he fell asleep. It was funny how something seemingly trivial like an argument about lying could make so much sense in the scheme of things. Even then, Sasuke had the makings of a damned good attorney...

Stretching his neck from side to side, Naruto set the hot cup down on the floor and pulled the sheet he was sleeping with off his body. Still, something about that dream bugged him… The way Sasuke looked at him back then… That weird question.

Naruto shook his head and stood up.

What was he doing thinking about the past anyways? Right now, Naruto had more important matters that needed attending. He was a police officer, and had a duty to serve and protect people. And today that duty required him to wear a black thong and fishnet stockings. Naruto's eyes reluctantly drifted to the clothes he had laid out before he went to bed, knowing that it was time.

He was going to be fine.

He could do this.

"I'll be ready in ten minutes," Naruto called out thickly.

Naruto went to the bathroom to dress, and walked out to find Haku waiting for him.

"All we need to complete your look is a little make-up," the older man said, pulling out a small purse.

Naruto had a frightening mental image flash through his mind of high school when the girls were all trying to learn how to use make-up. Most ended up either looking like a Saturday night hooker or a three-day-old corpse. Neither was particularly attractive, though Naruto supposed that in his case at least the hooker-look was appropriate.

But presumably Haku knew what he was doing. And even if he didn't, Naruto had already shaved his legs, learned to put on a bra, and jammed his size tens into a pair of four-inch heels. What's a little make-up?

Haku studied his face for a moment. "You really don't need much. You've got great skin and coloring. I'll just put a little coal around your eyes to make them pop a bit. Your lashes are already long and dark enough that you don't need mascara, and your lips are a good color naturally, so I won't make you wear lipstick."

Naruto breathed out a small sigh of relief at that. He had never found the sensation of kissing a girl's lipstick-slathered lips particularly pleasant, and hadn't been looking forward to having that greasy feeling on his own mouth all day.

Haku stepped back to examine his handiwork. "Wow, Naruto," he said, admiration tinging his voice. "You look… actually amazing."

Naruto blushed slightly at the older man's compliment, not really used to having men say things like that about him. "Well… I guess that's what we were aiming for, right? I'm bait so… I need to look bait-like."

Zabuza walked in and ran an assessing eye up and down Naruto, then nodded curtly in approval. "Looking good. Let's go, 'ho."

.

.

.

.

.

Zabuza and Naruto walked to the corner of Central Avenue and Main. From now on, they had to assume that every move was potentially being observed by the killer. Jiraya had agreed to allow them access to the flophouse that some of his girls used to entertain guests. Sai had set up shop in one of the rooms there, where he would be in range to monitor the wire but not as conspicuous as the proverbial white van parked along the street.

They had no idea how long in advance the killer stalked his prey, so setting up the wire and tracking device in Naruto's apartment was not going to be an option. Naruto could not be seen with anyone from the police department besides Zabuza, who was also under cover. They had agreed to meet up here every day to be sure Naruto was hooked up and discuss any updates on the situation. From here on out, this would be Naruto and Zabuza's only allowed contact with the department. No phones, no e-mails, and no visits.

Naruto wrinkled his nose when he walked into the tiny, dirty room. Evidently Kakashi had known his business when he described the typical condition of places like this.

"Well, it's about time," Sai tilted his head, surveying Naruto's attire with a focused intensity that was a little off the charts even for Sai.

"Um… hey, Sai," Naruto said, shifting slightly self-consciously under the intense gaze that slid up and down his body. He supposed he'd better get used to it, though it still made him feel like a surprise feature in a Girls Gone Wild video.

Sai stood up and - to Naruto's discomfort - walked around him slowly. Stopping in front of him after a few minutes of circling the disturbed officer, he dropped to his knees in front of Naruto.

Naruto felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle at the closeness of the man. Sai was definitely… attractive. For a guy. And somehow… familiar. Naruto suppressed the memory of his mother mentioning how much Sai resembled Sasuke. For a moment, it wasn't Sai's dark eyes looking up at him, but his high school rival's. Goose bumps rippled over Naruto's skin before he was able to suppress the errant thought.

Then Sai shamelessly looked up Naruto's skirt.

"Sai, what the fuck, man!" Naruto snapped himself back to the present.

"Mm? What is it?" Sai's infuriating plastic smile was back, and placing a hand to Naruto's thigh his fingers smoothed a path up his skin. He stopped when he reached the black garter, his fingers dipping under it playfully before snapping it back in place.

"Gah! Personal space, dude… ever hear about it? It means you don't get within two feet of my junk. And right now you're about 1.9 feet too close. And, OW! Gunshot wound, remember?"

A thin eyebrow arched at the request. Sai stood up, flashing Zabuza a questioning glance.

"If you're asking me if you can break him in, be my guest." Zabuza snickered.

"Zabuza! That's not funny! You don't know this guy… he's like… the biggest pervert in the department. He hits on EVERYONE. You don't go giving a guy like this any kind of encouragement. You'll end up with a shitload of creepy presents and a hand on your dick in the men's bathroom that doesn't belong to you."

"Why, that's not true," Sai said, crossing his arms. "That was only once, Naruto. But aside from that, I don't believe I've hit on anyone but you and your above average penis in the past few months. I find it funny how you speak of personal space, when today your jobs entails getting _personal _with complete strangers. I don't think it's fair that I'm left out… we're familiar with each other enough to be personal, aren't we...Naruto? At least... your dick is familiar with me."

"Sai! What the hell, man. You say the weirdest shit. And that's bullshit that you haven't hit on anyone else. I totally saw you giving Neji the eye in court just last week. Don't think I didn't notice you slip into the men's room after him. And I'm getting _paid_ to get up close and personal with potential suspects as part of the job. The only part of my body you are going to get up close and personal with today is my foot as I shove it up your ass. And remember, I'm wearing heels right now smart-ass."

"Quite wrong again. Zabuza, should you tell him or should I?" The glint in Sai's eyes was unsettling.

"Uh…" Naruto's gaze shifted nervously between the two smirking men. Somehow he knew this was not going to end up well.

Zabuza gestured, indicating Sai should take the lead.

"Naruto…" Sai dipped a hand into his pocket to pull out a tiny, barely visible device. Dangling it from his fingers, he swished it back and forth, motioning for Naruto to see. "Guess where this is going?"

"If you think you are inserting that up my ass, you are completely insane. That portal is exit only."

"Unfortunately for you, I won't have that pleasure. Yet..." Sai shrugged his shoulders. "But please, feel free to let me know when you change your mind. I have something much bigger than this that I would be delighted in _inserting _up -"

"-Look asshole, if you're only here to freak me out, I want someone else from vice who will care more about doing his job to make sure I don't get gutted by some serial killer than trying to get in my pants," Naruto said, beginning to lose patience as the reality of what the next three weeks were likely to entail started to really be driven home in the seedy room with the well-used bed.

Sai seemed to have noticed the irritation in his voice, because his lips immediately fell into a thin, tight line. Sai let out a sigh, shoving the tiny recorder back into his pants pocket. "I take my job as seriously as anyone, Officer Uzumaki. And I take your safety even more so. I might tease you, because quite honestly you need to desensitize yourself to things people are going to say to you as a hooker. You can't freak out like you have been doing. You're not "Naruto the straight cop" right now. You're "Naruto the male cross-dressing hooker who has sex with men for a living." And if you believe nothing else, believe that while you're out there, my focus will only be on keeping you safe. You need to trust those words because your life could end up depending on them. You are injured, and it is hard to fight in heels, whether you are a male or a female. You're going to be at a disadvantage if things turn ugly. I've been around enough that I will probably see the signs before you do. And I also know what places on your outfit are the least likely for a wire to be accidentally discovered, or fall out. That's why I'm here."

Naruto studied the vice cop's face, finding it uncharacteristically free of Sai's usual teasing expression. Sai looked dead serious, and Naruto suddenly understood why everyone said he was one of the best cops in vice. He might joke around, but he cared just as much as Naruto did when it came to protecting the people that mattered and making sure they all came back unharmed.

Naruto gave Sai a small smile that slowly spread into a grin. "Then let's go catch this asshole."

Sai met his smile, to Naruto's pleasant surprise, with an equally genuine one. "Ladies first."

"Gah, bastard!" Naruto laughed and bumped his shoulder against Sai's. Whatever came out of this, he felt like he had a much better understanding of Sai. Maybe when this was all over, they could even be friends. As long as the raven kept his hands to himself.

But at minimum, he'd grown to respect Sai.

"Now...Unbutton that top of yours and spread your arms for me, will you gorgeous?" Sai was advancing towards him, holding up the small recorder. "Enjoying what I'm about to do is completely optional…"

Naruto's smile fell.

He took that back.

He had no respect for the pervert whatsoever.

* * *

><p><em>xXx <em>

_See you next Sunday..!_


	4. Chapter 4 - Pretty Woman, Mm, Mercy

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana own nothing, and will never own anything, and are _content _now with owning nothing. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes:** In celebration of chapter 698, we wanted to post early because we have no self control. And Kizu says she takes back every mean thing she said about Kishimoto for Chapters 693-697. Noodles also heavily repents, because she's been cussing at Kishi for years and finally is delivered a rare gift in the form of...what just transpired. Thank you. If anyone hasn't read the chapter, read it. Naruto...Thank you for your persistance, you amazing man. If anyone so rightfully belongs with Sasuke (don't even care if I get flamed for this), it is Naruto Uzumaki. You'll never change my mind, or Kizu's for that matter.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 - Pretty Woman, Walking Down The Street<strong>

* * *

><p>Sequins are supposedly a girl's best friend - but Naruto didn't find anything friendly about them as he fought back an unflattering sneeze, attempting to casually place the fallen bits of tinsel in his padded bra without seeming suspicious. Or worse, itchy.<p>

This sorry excuse for clothing, an orange crop top with plastic jewels, Naruto was convinced was the by-product of some horny asshole who's never experienced the sting of an October breeze in his life. Since Naruto was freezing his nuts off out here.

"Sai, can you hear me?" Naruto said, seeming to itch his nose to cover the movement of his lips.

"_I can see you too. Lift your skirt for me, would you dickless?" _

"Alright, the audio works, you can stop fucking talking now."

This skirt - low enough to leave some to the imagination, but high enough to violate several codes of public indecency - was testing Naruto's endurance. It was testing his strength. Because he was sure that if any right-minded girl (or transvestite for that matter) was forced to wear this constricting death trap, they would leave this questionable lifestyle in a heartbeat.

No looking back.

Hell, he wouldn't have a single regret about the future if it didn't involve a red leather mini and a pair of matching call girl's stilettos. Too bad he didn't have a choice in the matter. Though he supposed the other 'ladies' working the street with him really didn't, either. Their reasons were different, but at least for now, the outcome was the same.

Naruto grunted softly to himself, slipping two fingers under the hem of his skirt to pull the laced panties down, just so it wouldn't keep riding up the crack of his ass. He was still wobbling a bit as he attempted to _stroll,_ if that's what you'd even call it, down to the corner of Central Avenue and Main. Naruto subtly glanced into the windows of cars as they pulled up to get a closer look at the evening's _entertainment selections_.

They had worked out a system for dealing with clients. The ones that were obviously first-timers, or had curiously wandered onto this corner, Naruto would try to talk some sense into. The ones that seemed creepy or just pissed him off, he'd get in and drive around the block to a designated spot out of sight where someone from vice would pick them up.

For the ones that fell somewhere in the middle, Naruto would let one of the other 'girls' come over and take care of business, once Naruto had checked them out to make sure they didn't match the description of the suspect.. Vice could do clean-up if they wanted, but the girls still needed to make a living and he wouldn't jeopardize that for them. Naruto's first priority was to make sure none of them got in the car with the killer.

He wasn't there to put an end to prostitution, just trying to balance between the good, the bad, and the horny.

He saw a minivan pull up, just along the curb.

_If this is some fucked up soccer mom with kids in the back I am totally arresting her, even if it blows my cover_, Naruto thought queasily, walking in his four inch stilettos up to the van with the poise of a toddler. He had to check every vehicle, not matter how unlikely.

Observing the vehicle with about as much optimism an officer of the law could carry in his fake breasts, the blonde held back the urge to curse out loud when the window rolled down. It was the not the man he was looking for. This man had short black hair, the _cheesiest _smile he's ever seen, and the largest monobrow in history.

"Such a vision of youthfulness and vigor!" The weirdo announced, taking pause, like this was a dramatic performance at the theater or something. "I have never seen someone so full of spirit and youth! Please, join me in some youthful activities, you beautiful creature. I will take those transfixing hands of yours and we will embark on a journey that will last a lifetime…! Or… however long twenty dollars gets me." He finished off sheepishly.

"_Is that guy as lame to look at as he is to listen to?"_

A vein on Naruto's temple throbbed. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that the dude was wearing a bright green spandex jumpsuit or that he managed to come across as both super friendly and insanely creepy all at the same time. And Naruto wasn't one to put a price tag on himself, but he was _worth more_ than a measlytwenty dollars. Though he supposed that probably was the going rate given the part of town they were in. The guy freaked Naruto out, but he just couldn't quite bring himself to turn him over to vice. He just seemed so… _pathetic_. And in a disturbing way, reminded him of his old school friend, Lee. Naruto sighed. He'd have to put this guy on the right path another way.

"Look, you seem like a great guy. What do you do?" Naruto asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Me? I am an instructor for youthful souls down at the City Rec Center!"

"That's great. I bet those kids really look up to you, right?"

"Of course! I am their greatest ally! Their number one supporter! The Green Beast of Konoha's youthful spirit!"

"_That man has never gotten head in his life," Sai's_ assessment came through the earpiece.

_Piece of cake_, Naruto thought to himself, ignoring Sai's running commentary. "Well, I'm sure you are. But… is this really the sort of thing you'd want them to find out? I mean… those kids look up to you. What if they did the same thing? You know you could get caught and arrested for this."

A look of horror (so overdone) came over the man's face that for a moment, Naruto thought the guy was faking, but then the man burst into loud tears. "You are right, my youthful friend! I will stop seeking shortcuts to finding companionship for my energetic pursuits! Thank you, my sexy, leather-clad friend! You will live on forever in my heart! I will sing your praises to my youthful children! I will teach them of your wise and -"

"- Alright, don't overdo it." Naruto had begun to revisit the thought of slapping some cuffs on the guy. And not in a fun way.

"I understand. I hope the next time we meet, it is under better, less shameful circumstances! I hope the day that our paths cross again happens soon. Thank you, I will be on my way."

"Right," Naruto sighed, watching the bizarre man drive off. Really, he had never realized how many complete lunatics sought out prostitutes. Though this one seemed pretty harmless.

"_If I gave you fifty dollars, would you suck me off?"_

"I'd rip your dick off... for free," Naruto muttered into the mic, trying not to be too obvious.

"_That's some strange foreplay, but if you like it rough, baby…-"_

"Not listening, Sai…"

"_Damn, Uzumaki, who knew you could be so forceful in a skirt?" _

Naruto stumbled at the unmistakable sound of Kiba's voice coming through his earpiece. He ripped the clip-on earring off and stared at the device, as though daring it to be a joke before jamming it back on his ear.

"Kiba?! What the fuck are you doing here!" Naruto whispered viscously into the mic, trying to appear to be checking his makeup. "This is a _classified _case, why are you…!"

_"Surprise! You're not the only one who can get his ass promoted, bitch. Only difference is I got to keep my pants on. Who's the man NOW, Uzumaki?_ _I'll give you one hint, it sure ain't you."_

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. _Naruto did not have time to deal with this shit. Of everyone from the department that had to see him like this, it just _had _to be Kiba. Could this assignment _get_ any more embarrassing?

"Where the fuck is Sai?!" Naruto hissed, noticing how the tables have turned when just a minute ago he was _wishing _Sai would get lost in a ditch somewhere. Now he'd prefer anyone if it wasn't Kiba, even if that same person made continuous sexual advances towards him.

"_Still here, ready and waiting for you, dickless. But you better focus on the Johns in front of you. I'll still be here when you finish your shift. We just got word that our boy took out an undercover cop in another city that had the same idea to try catch him with an undercover cop dressed in drag. So the new plan will be I will stay and watch the street here if you get into a car, but Kiba will follow you to be sure you don't get screwed in the not fun way."_

Naruto sobered at the news of even more murders being chalked up to this guy. Taking down an unsuspecting and untrained prostitute was one thing. Someone who could take out a fully trained undercover officer was a whole other level of dangerous. Naruto needed to keep his head in the game. This wasn't the time to pitch a fit about Kiba's surprise entrance. Kiba was a good cop, and if things went downhill, he would be glad to have his friend at his back. He could beat the shit out of Kiba and Sai later for springing it on him. And maybe throw in Kakashi for good measure, since he had no doubt that pervert knew exactly what he was doing setting this up.

Ignoring his perverted back-up once again, Naruto watched other cars pull he walked over to a more central part of the sidewalk, so he could keep an eye on all the activity on the block. No one was going to get taken on his watch.

"_Work it, work it, baby, own it."_

Naruto stumbled at the unmistakable sound of Kiba's voice quoting Pretty Woman in his ear piece. If he thought this day couldn't get worse…

* * *

><p>Naruto had stopped being able to feel his feet about two hours ago. He was wishing he had the extra high dosage of his pain medication because even if it made him act like an idiot, at least he wouldn't feel the throbbing in the still-healing wound. Or his feet. Who knew that heels were worse than bullet wounds?<p>

Men who were over 5' 10 should not wear heels. Period. Really, now that Naruto had experienced the joys of women's footwear firsthand, no one should wear heels or anything akin to heels for as long as he was able to draft up a parking ticket.

He had never used the services of a prostitute before, but after this experience he might just go out and pick a few up to take them out to coffee so they could sit down and rest their feet.

When Haku gave him these monsters and told him to break them in last night, Naruto thought it would make a world of a difference.

It didn't.

They were just as unpleasant, if not more so from the constant walking and surveying he had to do to keep an eye out for potential suspects.

After being out here for five hours, and approached by many different types of men, Naruto came to the conclusion that the killer wasn't around today. Every person who spoke to him thus far was sleazy? _Yes. _Corrupted? _Definitely. _But far too _stupid _to asphyxiate anything other than their own dicks.

The last guy he spoke to, some guy named Ebisu, _almost _matched the profile. He was pretty tall, chiseled features, and black designer sunglasses. Total closet perv vibe. But he was wearing a bandanna over his head, so Naruto couldn't make out the hair color. The sleaze kept talking as though he were trying to make it seem like he and Naruto were meeting and then going to go on a date, not that he was looking to pay a hooker for sex. Often he would repeatedly mention that h thought Naruto was _really pretty. _AndNaruto would wince, because _gross,_ but reluctantly thank him for the compliment. He was _not _giving the guy a freebie, if that was what he was angling for.

For being disturbing as shit, Ebisu totally fit the bill.

However, just as Ebisu was getting down to business and asking for head and realizing he was going to have to pay like anyone else, he got a phone call from his nephew. He completely panicked when this Konohamaru - some bratty kid, from the sound of it - demanded to know where he was. Ebisu took off running like a wet cat with his tail between his legs, promising to come back some other time. _What a joke._

Naruto had doubts that some grown-ass man who was scared of a kid, no less, could ever in a million years be the serial killer. Naruto sighed. So far, none of the jack-asses Naruto had had to deal with could commit a crime as horrible as what was nearly done to Haku.

But Naruto was going to catch this guy, he would make sure of it. It was just hard to be patient when it felt like he was balancing on the world's thinnest toothpicks, and everyone he'd talked to so far had been just perverted dead ends.

"_You look miserable," _Sai's voice buzzed in his ear.

"I _feel _miserable. My leg is aching like it's on fire, and don't even talk to me about my feet," Naruto tried to inconspicuously hiss at his ear piece. He heard a laugh, which was _weird, _because Sai never really laughed at work. Actually, he never really expressed himself at all. Except his perviness. Naruto would always be met with this aggravating, plastic smile, and it always bugged him. Nothing pissed him off more than when somebody wasn't genuine with him.

"_I could make you feel a lot better. Did you get my flowers?" _

Naruto was just about to reach through the wire and strangle Sai for his thousandth innuendo of the evening when yet another car pulled into the alley. He could feel the change in the air immediately. This car was significantly nicer than most of the cars that had been by, and Naruto felt a prickle of anticipation that this guy would be different. Maybe this would finally be the one.

The car was black. New. Expensive.

Lincoln.

Anyone who could afford that car could definitely afford a prostitute who didn't have to stand on a street corner. Naruto's instincts were humming.

If this was the one he was looking for, he wanted to be sure that the guy chose him not one of the other 'girls'. Naruto adjusted his skirt, making sure it rode low enough to show the dimples of Venus on either side of the base of his spine, which he had been assured was a definite 'come fuck me' sight. He leaned forward just slightly, letting the tight skirt pull taut across his ass. Haku had informed him that - for gay men - it was all about the ass.

Naruto fought down a blush at the thought of why exactly that was.

The car said money. Naruto rolled his eyes at the thought of the 60-year-old businessman who was likely driving it, and mentally prepared himself for further emotional scarring.

* * *

><p>Sasuke knew that people hated defense attorneys. Until they needed one, that is. But it didn't bother him. He felt no need for external validation of his life or person. Though if he did, it was never difficult to come by given his looks and money.<p>

Except from his father, of course.

Sasuke had given up trying to surpass Itachi in his father's eyes, and instead now took great satisfaction from each case he won against the District Attorney's office. Because, of course, Fugaku Uchiha was the current sitting DA. Whose win rate had taken a significant hit since Sasuke had set up practice as a defense attorney.

Two years into law school, Itachi had shocked everyone by defecting entirely and seemingly going completely off the grid. He appeared three years later as an executive in some sort of ultra-high security 'consulting company'. Sasuke thought it entirely possible that Itachi was a government assassin. However, he knew better than to ask directly.

But even that didn't alter Fugaku's worship of his elder son and complete refusal to acknowledge Sasuke's achievements in any way.

Sasuke shrugged mentally. He didn't need admiration. In fact, he wished he had less of it.

Starting from kindergarten, he'd had a fanclub of admirers and sycophants following him around. Baking him sweets (which he loathed). Brushing up against him (causing him to frequently run out of Purell). Stealing his underwear from his gym locker (still traumatized from that). They were as cunning as they were crazy. Sasuke even remembered a horrifying incident in high school in the teachers' lounge where he had been asked to grab some papers, only to find a team of girls which nauseatingly called themselves the _Sasuke Stalkers, _waiting to ask for a strand of his pubic hair.

They crossed the line completely one day when a gang of them tried to shove him into the back of one of their mother's minivans to take him to a waiting priest and a shotgun wedding ceremony. Itachi had arrived in the nick of time, and mysteriously none of the girls or their families had ever been heard from again. To this day, Sasuke couldn't get within five feet of a minivan. Not that he would, anyway. He had his own image to maintain, after all.

No. Sasuke didn't want the attention or admiration of most people.

But there was one exception.

It was only after he met a certain dim-witted moron in high school that he realized his ability to attract people wasn't as irresistible as he had thought; because Naruto Uzumaki had proved to be an enigma. In a category of his own. Defined by loud, impromptu actions, questionable thought-processes, and a fearlessness to stand up for what he believed in no matter who or what stood in his way.

Moreover, Naruto had shown no interest in pandering to Sasuke or trying to get anything at all from him. He was disturbingly direct, with motives that were not the usual ones of climbing the social ladder or otherwise using people to get ahead. Which was why when Sasuke first met him, he was put off.

Naruto annoyed him.

It irritated Sasuke how Naruto would insult him quickly, scathingly, and without deference. Uncaring of Sasuke's intelligence, looks, or pedigree, Naruto's temper would explode, as blinding as Naruto's hair. And somehow Sasuke found himself drawn to it… to the honesty and raw nature of Naruto.

Naruto was able to cause Sasuke to lose his vaunted composure. Make him take risks that he normally wouldn't. Get caught up in the moment and succumb to spontaneity. In moments he would be brought down to the same level as his classmate as they brawled on the classroom floor. Much to his father's dismay.

So very un-Uchiha of him.

Soon that feeling of disturbance started to morph into the makings of respect, friendship...and finally _desire. _Sasuke - who was surrounded by an ocean of artificially sweetened compliments and lust-filled looks from empty-headed admirers - found himself letting out a breath of fresh air whenever Naruto was around.

Naruto, who never hesitated to kick Sasuke off his high horse_. _Naruto, who thoroughly challenged and embattled him, quickly became one of the only authentic people in his life.

Sasuke didn't have many friends... only a select few that he would bestow the title too. There was Suigetsu, Juugo, and Neji from high school. Suigetsu was on the swim team with Sasuke, and was basically there for comic relief. Juugo was on the student council with him, and emotionally leveled him. Neji was someone he'd related to on an intellectual level, with their interest in law securing their link into adulthood. He only kept in touch with Neji these days, their shared law practice leading them to having a coffee together once in a while, or discussing their vexations from work or consulting on a case. But beyond those three, Sasuke hadn't allowed anyone to get to know him on even the most superficial of levels.

And when it came to matters of intimacy, Sasuke never had had a relationship for more than a couple weeks. The only person he had ever been interested in trying something long-term with was...

Sasuke stopped that train of thought.

It was not _ever _going to happen.

_Why _he had decided it was a good idea to fall for possibly the most oblivious person in the history of history was beyond him. Sasuke had learned to settle for other ways to satisfy his need to get Naruto to respond to him, to engage with him. It didn't matter if it mostly consisted of arguments or physical fighting.

Anger wasn't that far from lust or love.

They both involved heavy breathing.

And now they both involved Naruto stripping, which was a development that Sasuke had not expected, but wholly approved of.

Sasuke smirked as he remembered the scene in the courtroom. He had still been trying to get his head around the blond having actually been _shot_, and the fact that the wound had just narrowly missed his femoral artery, which would have been _fatal_.

Sasuke's brain had basically frozen up at that point. In retrospect, Sasuke supposed he should be grateful that he had been distracted by thoughts of Naruto's brush with death, because otherwise Naruto wouldn't have been the only one embarrassed about revealing things in the courtroom that day. He hadn't seen Naruto without his clothes since high school but… evidently Naruto had taken training for being a cop seriously.

Back when they were younger, Naruto had excelled in sports and had always been fit but now… with the new tattoo he was sporting across his washboard abs, Sasuke was lucky that all that had 'sprung forth' in front of the jury of his peers was a minor nosebleed.

He realized it wasn't just Naruto's body that had matured, but Naruto himself.

Being a cop was really the perfect fit for the blonde's brash sense of justice and seemingly endless need to help everyone. Sasuke would rather gnaw off his own tongue than say it out loud, but he admired Naruto for it. Then and even more now. Though of course, Itachi just _had _to be in the courtroom to witness all of Naruto's earnest virtue, ass included… as well as Sasuke's reaction. Itachi never missed anything, especially when it concerned things that he could use to torture Sasuke with_._ He didn't even want to know what his brother was planning to do with this newfound knowledge. He had spent _years_ trying to convince Itachi that he had forgotten all about Naruto.

Sasuke sighed heavily.

He supposed it was a godsend that he hasn't seen Naruto in over a week. Because after the disaster in court, and the run-in at the restaurant, it would probably be best if they had some space from each other in order to diminish Naruto's miffed stares, by even a little. He would keep his distance, lessen the strain. Though if he heard that Naruto ever started dating that sleazy cop from vice… Sasuke wasn't sure if he could keep away. He'd defended enough clients that he had a pretty good idea how to commit the perfect murder without getting caught.

He'd been willing to stand down in the past when Naruto had girlfriends, because they clearly had some very important equipment that Sasuke lacked. But if Naruto were dating another man, then… that would definitely change things.

Sasuke brushed the thought away in annoyance.

The likelihood of that happening was rationally zero, so he'd resigned himself. Sasuke had _looked _for signs long ago, and came to a reasonable conclusion. Naruto was straight, or at least convinced that he was, and there was no way he was ever going todate a man… much less one that made him simmer like an angry kettle the second they made eye contact. Sasuke couldn't count on hand how many times his lingering stares had earned him a prompt, curt middle finger from a tan hand on the steps of the court house.

Sasuke drove his car along the alley known for its unusual diversions as he scanned the row of 'working girls'. He used the term 'girl' loosely, but didn't really know how else to think of them. He'd been here yesterday, hoping to inquire about a crime that took place two nights ago, a block away. One of his clients was being accused of holding up a convenience store. Unfortunately, the security camera at the store had stopped working months ago, and his client had been picked up due to the unreliable testimony of a witness.

According to his client, he was being mistaken for another man who hung around where the prostitutes made their rounds. The police didn't believe the guy, but Sasuke did. He thought that if he came here, chatted with a few of the 'locals' and chased down a few leads on his own, it would eventually give him the evidence he needed that would prove his client was not guilty, or at least convince the police to do their damn job.

His eyes passed over a blond who was wearing an unbelievably tight skirt and heels that made his muscled legs look pretty amazing. And the guy's ass… he hadn't seen an ass like that on anyone except…

The cogs in Sasuke's mind slowed to a stop. He slowed the car to almost a crawl, both to prevent himself from crashing but also to get a better look...

_It couldn't be. He hadn't seen him in days. It really… could… not… be_…

All of the blood immediately left Sasuke's brain and flooded south.

He stopped the car. The blond was walking towards him. Almost tripped. Ok, walking again. Sasuke pressed the button, lowering the tinted glass on the passenger side of the door so he could get an unobstructed view of the face he had never, in his wettest, wildest dreams, thought to encounter here. In a… amazingly… short… tight… _oh, my god._

_Naruto._

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_To be continued, hopefully, in the span of a week instead of four days, because we're too busy celebrating and also crying..._


	5. Chapter 5 - This Job Blows

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana own nothing, and will never own anything as usual, because Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto...and _Sasuke._

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes:** Early-release-no-jutsu, Kizu and I are struggling to write things that don't have to do with Cop Naruto in a skirt. Still just as bad ass as before. My life is literally consumed by this fic, because it's so amazing, and the reviews we've gotten have been so encouraging, so thank you guys. I'm so anxious, because this is the last week. Naruto the Manga, as some of you are aware, ends this week...so let's come together in celebration. Naruto is an amazing series and it will continue to live in our hearts even after its finished. For me, it was with me since I was eight years old, and I'm twenty now! It's truly withstood the test of time. And it will always be remembered. Props to everyone who's hung on until the very end!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5 - This Job Blows<strong>

* * *

><p>Naruto focused on the car as he saw the tinted window rolling down. He tried to casually check the guy's face, but from where he was standing, all he could see of the driver was his shoulders and lap. He was well-dressed and fit, unlike most of Naruto's prospective 'customers' so far.<p>

"I think I found a winner," Naruto murmured into his earpiece. "Get the license plate."

_"Only if you promise to go out with me this weekend." _

"Dammit, Sai, I can never tell if you're being serious or not. Just get the fucking plate!"

_"Anything for you, Dickless." _

Naruto just stopped answering, focusing on the car that was setting off his alarms.

Remembering his instructions from Zabuza to not appear too assertive, Naruto didn't look directly into the car, but instead turned and sat his ass - which both men and women assured him was _sweet_ - against the passenger window of the car, giving the driver a view of his toned back in the process. Drawing a breath, Naruto recited the practiced lines Haku assured would be a beacon of light on his path to temporary prostitution.

"Hey daddy, you lookin' for a good time?" He purred, pursing his lips into a smile that was downright sinful. Naruto ignored the urge to vomit, shimmied his hips—apparently, the key to seducing these men was all in the hips—in a rhythmic motion. Just to show that he had the flexibility a man in his position _needed _in order to please, he trailed a finger along the roof of the car, exhaled sharply, and bent down smoothly to 'fix his shoe', giving the driver likely a teasing view of just what he was wearing under his skirt.

Though his ears were threatening to burn right off his face from how embarrassing this was, the show must go on. He had to make sure he held the interest of this guy long enough to make him take the bait and not go after someone else. Everything he was saying, all the little gestures with his bum were expressly taken from a cliché 90's film, but he'd give anyone the chance to sue for copyright later.

Right now, Naruto had a mission, and he'd be damned if he let his pride ruin it.

Pulling the silk cords from the garter that held his stockings up, Naruto braced himself to face the driver, ready to verify if this was the one he was looking for. "Well, Daddy, just tell me how you like it…I can put my legs behind my head if you're into that," Naruto turned and leaned into the car as his sensual words dripped toxin from his lips and snaked into the ears of one very shocked driver. A driver that he recognized. The one person in the entire universe he had hoped would _never _see him like this. "…sugar—…" Naruto's voice trailed off.

And he choked on his own spit.

"...Sa….Sa..._S-Sasuke?" _

* * *

><p><em><strong>Eight years ago<strong>_

_Sasuke sat on the cold, hard metal bleachers. Why they had to make seating at high school sporting events so uncomfortable he would never understand. He ignored the six girls sitting next to him, all vying for his attention. _

_He wasn't interested. _

_He watched the Konoha offensive line set up. The quarterback shouting to the left and right, calling what would be the final play of the game. Sasuke shifted back in the uncomfortable seat, unintentionally brushing against one of the girl's legs and setting her off squealing and writhing in pleasure. He frowned, pulling his arm closer to his own body to avoid further unwanted contact, his gaze locked on only one person. _

_The quarterback fell back, his half-backs spreading out as his receivers went deep. They were three points down. And twenty-five yards to go. It was all or nothing in the final minutes. _

_Sasuke smirked, already reading what Naruto had decided. The opposing team's linemen were breaking through. Naruto spun, and just before receiving a full body slam from a kid who appeared genetically mutated to be at least five times the size of what a high schooler should be, Naruto released the ball into a perfect spiraling arc. It landed into the sure hands of Naruto's best friend and perennial partner in crime, Kiba Inuzuka, who was conveniently standing in the end zone. _

_The crowd went wild._

_Sasuke smirked, then stood to leave. He saw a pink-haired girl jumping like mad, her cheerleader's skirt flying up and showing the tiny shorts she wore underneath. Naruto shot her a smile full of heat, and Sasuke's fist clenched. _

_Stupid girl. Sasuke had been relieved when the pinkette had finally stopped pursuing him. That is, until he realized who her new fixation was._

_Naruto._

_It didn't take her long to switch obsessions. Sakura had been dating Naruto for two months and she was already practically picking out her wedding dress. Fortunately, Naruto didn't seem to be in that kind of rush. Though he hadn't broken up with her, either. If anything he seemed… undecided. Which was good… Sasuke supposed. At least it was better than the alternative._

_Naruto threw his hands in the air and whooped some more, before running towards Kiba and tackling him in a hug. "We did it!" Naruto cried, holding his best friend's head in a playful head-lock, "We fucking did it, Kiba!"_

_He could hear the entirety of the student body on the bleachers, no one having left yet, chanting their team's anthem as the other team dejectedly turned to leave the field. The reality of their triumph sinking into Naruto's stomach as heavy as a mouthful of convenience store ramen, was enough to preserve the smile on his face for a couple of decades; because this was one of the greatest moments of his life, and by the looks of it, the day wasn't even over yet._

_"Naruto! BABY!" Naruto could hear his mom scream wildly from the bleachers. To his embarrassment, she left the stands - despite the school faculty expressly stating no one but the team was allowed on the field - and ran out into the grass to give him a bear hug, lifting him clear off the ground, heavy gear and all. His teammates stared at her wide eyed and slightly impressed as she set him down, and pressed a sloppy kiss on his forehead. "Oh sweetie, you looked so cool out there! Almost cooler than your father, but don't tell him I said that."_

_"Th...Thanks mom."_

"_Kushina! Leave Naruto alone and get off the field! Let him go celebrate with his friends, now," his dad called from across the field, smiling at Naruto knowingly. Naruto was so thankful then that his dad could read him like an open book. _

_"I'll be home around twelve, is that okay?" Naruto asked._

_"Stay out as late as you want tonight, you deserve it. Just CALL ME when you're coming home, understood?" She asked, asserting her seriousness in the matter with the trademark, scary look in her eye._

_Naruto nodded, but his attention was already being pulled away as his eyes scanned over the cheering faces of his classmates in the stands, unconsciously looking for a pair of dark eyes he had hoped would be watching him. Maybe to finally acknowledge that Naruto had done something awesome. He found the eyes he was looking for, but there was no cheering from their owner. Sasuke simply arched a brow, then stood to leave. _

_A high-pitched squeal of his name drew his attention, and Naruto looked to see his girlfriend and captain of the cheerleading squad throwing her pompoms in the air and excitedly yelling his name. Although he felt kind of… dissapointed, at least she would be celebrating with him tonight. Somehow, the thought of spending time alone with Sakura was no longer as exciting as it had been when she had finally agreed to date him. He had expected their relationship to grow and deepen as they got to know each other better, but it seemed like the surface attraction was really all they had in common. He wondered if she felt the same thing._

_Kiba slapped Naruto's ass in celebration as the shaggy receiver headed in to shower, reminding Naruto he would likewise have to clean up before he was fit for company. Naruto followed his friend back to the locker room to wash away the sweat and dirt of the game. _

_He practically swaggered (though with a slight limp) into the locker room with his winner's high, grinning wildly to himself as he took of his helmet, exhaling when the hair stuck to his forehead and he finally got a chance to breathe. 'We did it,' he thought to himself, 'We won, we fucking won!' His adrenaline was still at its peak, a sheen of sweat cascaded down his forehead, and he was too engulfed by the sweet stench of victory to be bothered with his own stench from running across the field as many times as he had._

"_Dead Last. You're supposed to try to get out of the way when guys that much bigger than you try to jump you. After two years as quarterback, I would have thought even you would have learned that much," Sasuke's voice came out of no where, and Naruto looked to see him leaning against Neji's locker as his friend was off showering (it took extra time for Neji to condition his hair, so Sasuke would be there a while)._

_Hearing Sasuke address him was surprising, to say the least, but the snide comment that followed almost immediately drew Naruto away from the pain in his knee to snap back with equal amounts of vitriol. "That's funny, bastard. I guess you missed the part where I helped score the winning touchdown."_

"_Tch. Inuzuka can catch __**anything**__. All I saw was you fall on your ass."_

"_I didn't __**fall**__," Naruto ground his teeth. Why could Sasuke never just admit when Naruto did something right? "I was just admiring the field. And even if I did go down, those guys were huge. That blue-skinned dude, Kisame, I'm sure he's gotta be at least thirty or something!" _

_Sasuke shifted slightly. "So you only go down for huge guys, then, Naruto?"_

_Neji snorted from the showers._

_Naruto blinked his eyes confusedly at the noise and frowned, not seeing what was so funny. "Yeah I guess," He scratched his cheek, but then indignantly pointed a finger at the other, huffing. "But only when they're three-times my size and built like a freaking monster." _

_A tiny blush crossed Sasuke's cheekbones, and his tongue wet his lower lip before continuing. "Oh, really?" His voice came out a little rough, and he cleared his throat. "It didn't take much to get you flat on your back."_

_"I was on my stomach," Naruto saw fit to correct him._

"_So you like it face down?" Sasuke interrupted, his voice casual and somehow mocking. Somewhere in the showers, Kiba howled with laughter._

_"You're a fucking idiot, dude," Kiba said as he walked out in his towel, casting a knowing grin at Sasuke._

_Naruto narrowed his eyes at the comment, not exactly sure where this was going anymore because everyone around him was snickering and it was starting to grate on his nerves. _

_"I don't think I really have a fucking preference when I have a guy laying on top of me trying to pound me into the turf." _

_Sasuke's face went completely blank for a moment. "Uh…." He pulled his backpack off the floor and set it in his lap, opening it up and pretending to look inside for a moment. "Whatever. It still looked like you just tripped."_

_The unusual crack in his rival's voice was lost on the quarterback. Naruto only focused on the derisive tone Sasuke's voice was carrying as they broke eye contact. Inside he was fuming. Why is it so hard for him to give me a compliment for once in his goddamn life? Naruto clicked his teeth. "Did you come in here to be an asshole, or are you going to congratulate me like everyone else? Because if you're not, then how about shoving it."_

_Sasuke shrugged, his composure apparently restored by the blond's outburst. "I came here to talk to Neji. You just happened to be here. And I would congratulate you if you actually accomplished something. You threw a pass in a football game, not saved a village from utter destruction or something."_

_Neji was just walking out of the shower as Sasuke finished talking. _

"_If you weren't even interested in the game, then why the hell were you watching it anyways?"_

_Sasuke looked at Neji, then sighed. "My parents think I need to 'fully experience' high school, so they make me attend all the stupid shit like homecoming games."_

"_Oh, that makes sense," Naruto rolled his eyes. He sat down on the bench and stripped himself of his dirty jersey and browned shoulder pads. Then he placed a hand on his bruised shoulder, rubbing across his bare, sweaty skin before stretching up and releasing some of the strain on his muscles. "Figures the school's ice prince wouldn't __**voluntarily**__ attend anything if his __**mommy**__ didn't make him." _

_Rather than the snide remark that Naruto was expecting, the most Sasuke could manage was an inarticulate choking sound as he abruptly pulled his bag closer to his lap again and took deep breaths while looking for some mysterious object in its depths._

"_Whatever, loser." _

_Neji snickered from behind Sasuke, earning a French text book thrown at the linebacker's head._

_Naruto groaned slightly as he shifted his weight to his sore knee. He toed off his cleats and peeled off his spandex pants, tossing the thigh pads aside to allow him to examine the large, blue bruise, he earned from tackling the other team's gorilla linebacker. When he was out on the field, he never realized how many injuries he accrued until the game was over. Now fixated on his knee (and standing in just his jock strap), Naruto tried to massage the skin around his calves to ease the pain just a little. He had plans later, so was hoping it wasn't too serious, and he could just shake it off. _

_Sasuke's eyes had glazed over, but they narrowed as he noticed the bruise and Naruto's wince of pain. Naruto could be pretty beat up and not flinch, so Sasuke knew the blond had to be really hurting._

"_Dobe, you should put some ice on that," Sasuke said, his voice slightly hoarse. "Or you'll play even worse tomorrow."_

_Naruto was caught off guard by the statement. Trying to seem unaffected by both Sasuke's uncharacteristic concern, he shrugged. "It's not a big deal. I heal quickly anyways." _

_Sasuke blew out a breath that from anyone else Naruto would have called a huff. "Even a three-year-old knows to get treatment for an injury. Just because your little girlfriend is expecting some post-game performance from you doesn't mean you should wreck your knee for it." _

_"Post-game perfor-Oh," Naruto frowned, feeling oddly disappointed when he remembered that Sakura was waiting for him in the hall outside. "Are you two still going to that after party at Lee's house?" Naruto asked, addressing Neji who was pulling on a tee and some jeans. _

_Neji looked at Sasuke, then shrugged. "Probably. Are you and Sakura going?"_

_"Ah, well…" Naruto trailed off._

_"No, he's promised to take our fearless cheerleading captain home and show her the team's appreciation for her support this season," Sasuke said acidly._

_"We're just going to my house to... watch a... movie," Naruto said lamely, not really sure why he was not comfortable talking about his relationship with Sakura in front of Sasuke. Sasuke had turned Sakura down for years, so why should Naruto feel guilty about it?_

_"Really? What movie, Debbie Does Dallas? Get fucking real man," Kiba said from under the spray of the showerhead, soaping under his armpit. "You're just going to hit that pink carpet like always. Just say you're ditching the party to screw around with Sakura, no one's surprised. Just grossed out."_

_"I think what's gross is that you actually said pink carpet, Kiba," Naruto said, feeling annoyed and more than a little embarrassed._

_"Fine, how about a tarp?"_

_"Look, what do you have against her anyway? Sakura is nice to me. We've known each other since middle school. Why are you always riding me about her?" _

_Kiba rolled his eyes, but didn't want to fight with his friend about it. "Look, Sakura's nice. I just don't think she's the one for you."_

_Sasuke abruptly stood, slinging his bag over his shoulder and pushing his hair back from his face and temporarily concealing the extremely annoyed expression there. This was one conversation he could do without. "Hn. Just get your knee looked at. Neji, I'll meet you by the car." _

_Sasuke turned and walked out of the locker room, casting a glare at the pink haired cheerleader who was waiting outside. "Your boyfriend's injured. Give him a rest tonight."_

_Sakura's face flashed surprised that Sasuke was actually talking to her, then worry as what he had said sunk in. She hoped Naruto was alright. She'd drag him to the doctor if he wasn't. _

* * *

><p><em>For some reason, seeing Sasuke leave left a damper on Naruto's spirits. As Naruto headed into the showers, the room felt empty and the excitement he felt from the win earlier was wearing off, leaving him feeling hollow. Somehow his accomplishments never felt the same if Sasuke wasn't there to acknowledge them.<em>

_Washing the dirt and grime off his chest, he sighed. Naruto supposed that it was a little stupid, but he'd felt like this since he met the guy in ninth grade. He just wanted Sasuke to say just once that Naruto had done something right. Though Naruto didn't understand why Sasuke's opinion of him even mattered to him in the first place, because it shouldn't._

_But it did. _

_After washing his body he turned off the faucet and limped towards his sports bag. He grabbed a fresh T-shirt and some slacks, all the while trying to gather what was left of the passion he had from the game in hopes of storing it for tonight. Naruto wondered a bit if maybe he was starting to outgrow his infatuation with Sakura. _

_Surely the girl he was dating should stimulate him more than some guy he'd barely spoken with all through high school. Naruto was not going to join the throngs of mindless idiots who followed Sasuke around hanging off his every word hoping to get his attention. Sure, Sasuke was smart, athletic, good-looking… but he was still an asshole._

_Naruto shook his head. Why was he even worrying about this anyways? He decided now wasn't the time to be making a decision about his relationship with Sakura. It was homecoming, and she didn't deserve to be dumped out of the blue. Besides, for a while now he'd had this feeling they probably wouldn't be dating long. Sakura had seemed at times to be shifting to a more sisterly kind of affection towards him. He knew he wasn't the love of her life, so maybe it was fine that she wasn't going to be the love of his, either. He grabbed his things, trying to put those thoughts out of his mind, and joined his girlfriend in the hall. _

* * *

><p>Naruto struggled to snap himself back to the present. Why did seeing Sasuke always throw his brain into a tailspin like this? Of course, being in a red leather miniskirt and heels wasn't helping matters.<p>

"Did you decide to make a career change, Dobe?"

Naruto was floundering, his mouth open like a oxygen deprived fish as he tried to process the fact that the bane of his high school existence just-so-happened to be cruising for hookers the day Naruto decided to become one of them. He was snapped out of his shock and panic by the familiarity of the rude taunt.

"I thought they just promoted you… what, are you sharpening your skills to try to earn your next promotion the old-fashioned way?" Sasuke's voice sounded huskier than usual. His right arm was positioned awkwardly over his lap, leaving only his left on the steering wheel.

Naruto shook his head to get himself together. He remembered that he needed to still look like he was greeting a client, so he bent over the window slowly, arching his back and running a hand along his hip. His cheeks were hot with embarrassment, but forcing back the need to scream he said with an overly sweet smile, his voice coming out in a lethal hiss. "Why are you here, asshole? You must be pretty low on funds if you can't even pay for a regular call girl. Lose too many cases recently?"

"Hardly. I…" Sasuke paused, needing to regain some semblance of composure as all the blood in his brain had abruptly run south when he had first realized it was Naruto standing on the street corner. Sasuke fisted his hands to keep them from reaching out and dragging Naruto into the back seat of his car and fucking him into next week. His forearms trembled slightly at the effort required. Fortunately, the oblivious blond seemed to be unaware of Sasuke's painful predicament.

Sasuke kept his arm glued to the front of his pants, concealing the evidence of his 'situation'. "I came here for reasons that don't concern you, but... at least it wasn't a wasted trip. One of the hookers here isn't looking that bad, surprisingly." He slid his gaze along Naruto's body, causing an unexpected shiver to race along Narutos spine.

Sasuke noticed the slight reaction, and his already black eyes darkened noticeably.

"_Did you just say SASUKE?" _Kiba's voice yelled in Narutos earpiece and he almosted jerked back at the loudness of it. _"As in.. Sasuke Uchiha, most wanted man in our entire high school, could have fucked the entire cheerleading squad if he sent out a mass text with his location on a Friday night, Sasuke? That Sasuke?" _

"Not a fucking good time right now," Naruto muttered harshly under his breath. He looked around the block, noticing a few of the other prostitutes were curiously staring at him.

"Well, you're the one who came up to _my_ car, Uzumaki," Sasuke said, clearly having assumed the comment was directed at him. "What, am I keeping you from your other clients?" Sasuke said, his voice taking on an edge at the thought of Naruto servicing random men, even if it was as part of a case, as he was sure this must be.

Knowing he needed to do something to draw away the attention, Naruto opened his mouth and breathed out a small, forced laugh, seductively tucking a strand of blond hair behind his ear in case anyone was watching too closely. "No you're not, _baby…" _There was a strain to the pet name. "...Why don't we take this conversation somewhere more _private, _okay?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. He wanted Naruto to get angry, to react like he usually did. Hearing Naruto call him a fake pet name, despite how attractive he looked right now, was for some reason _especially _annoying. Sasuke found that it was wrong coming from the young officers lips, and the trance he was put under from Naruto's appearance was starting to dwindle just slightly. Along with the tightness in his pants "If you think I'm going to let you bust me for soliciting a prostitute, you can forget it Uzumaki. "

"Do what I say..._sugar_," Naruto said, a fake smile plastered to his face while he batted his lashes. A hint of steel came into his voice as he realized that Sasuke showing up like this was not just embarrassing as hell, but it could potentially blow his cover. He had to get Sasuke out of here, but first he had to make sure Sasuke knew not to say anything about seeing him here and that he'd promise to stay away from the area.

"Why should I?" Sasuke glared, now beginning to feel even more annoyed by the sickly sweet tone. He was now able to remove his arm from his lap and place his hand back on the steering wheel without fear of discovery of anything embarrassing. "If I let you into my car, you'll only have more grounds for claiming I was here for reasons that would be a stain on my reputation. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm _not _letting you in my-"

"-LOOK asshole," Naruto snapped, cutting him off, deciding to take the risk that no one was close enough to hear his words. "You don't have much of a goddamn choice okay?" He didn't have the patience to argue with Sasuke right now. Not when there were such high stakes.

Jamming the car door open - breaking the lock - with the strength he inherited from his doting mother, Naruto forced a lovely lotioned leg into the vehicle. He slid in and slammed the door behind him. He didn't give Sasuke a chance to comment when he leaned close to him and harshly whispered in his ear, "I don't have time for your paranoid shit, alright? You must have guessed by now what I'm doing here. Shut up and act like we're negotiating price before you screw everything up," Naruto hissed, having lost all patience. He was pretty sure that no one was close enough to hear the exchange, so as long as he got Sasuke out of there now, the damage should be minimal.

Sasuke smirked as Naruto slammed himself into the seat. He found this version of the blond infinitely hotter than the accommodating, compliant version that was being _nice _out of all things just minutes ago. "So, _Officer_," Sasuke said, his voice low and seductive. "Now that you've talked yourself into my car, what are you going to do about it?"

"What I'm going to do is ask you to shut up and roll up the window," Naruto said brusquely, his eyes searching the street to see if anyone was watching them.

"I'm assuming this isn't some scheme to get revenge on me from what happened in court by setting me up with vice, right?" Sasuke asked.

"_I was wondering what Kiba was talking about, and I have to say… If this Sasuke you're acquainted with is ever interested in a threesome, then…"_

Naruto blocked off Sai's disturbing commentary to grit his teeth. "If it was, I don't think I would be taking it as far as wearing this thong, which, by the way, is itching up a storm in my ass, just to book you. So don't flatter yourself."

Sasuke made a small strangled sound as a very vivid mental image flashed through his mind.

"_Naruto… remember you might have people watching you. I know it's Sasuke, but you have to make it look like you're servicing a John if you are going to sit in his car," Kiba's voice buzzed through the earpiece. "If you two are going to go at each other as usual, then at least put your head in his lap while you do it. Who knows, it might even ease the tension, you know? Great bonding experience." _

"Shit..!" Naruto cussed. Kiba was right. He couldn't risk anyone seeing them casually talking like this. It could raise a lot of red flags.

"Just...bear with me, okay?" Naruto mumbled, turning his head with a look of apology.

"What the hell, Uzumaki!" Sasuke choked, with a bit of panic in his normally emotionless tone as Naruto bent down and placed his head right in front of Sasuke's clothed crotch. Naruto's gunshot wound ached, and he shifted to get as comfortable as he could manage when lying in a compromising position in the passengers seat of his old classmates car. Naruto's cheek brushed unintentionally against his rival's length through the fabric.

"Shit! I'm sorry! Just… try to act like you're enjoying it and I'll explain what I can."

His hot breath seemed to permeate right through the fabric, straight to Sasuke's groin. Sasuke braced his hands on the steering wheel and pressed himself as far back in his seat as he possibly could in a futile attempt to minimize the contact. Naruto was looking up at him apologetically, and licked his lips nervously at their intimate position. Sasuke closed his eyes briefly to shut out the sight of his high school fantasy licking his lips an inch away from his cock. He willed himself to not get an erection, since there was basically not a chance in hell it would be overlooked by the blue eyes looking up from his lap.

"Naruto, you…" Sasuke drew a shaky breath. "...You have three seconds to tell me why the fuck your head is in my lap before I open this door and throw you head first out of my car."

"Look, if you do that, you'll be putting me, you, and a lot of people I know at risk. I know this is unpleasant and… weird, but you need to trust me, okay? Just… Pretend I'm a girl or something. I can't tell you what's going on, but it's not safe for you to be involved here. I don't know what you are doing here today for real, but this is not a safe place to be right now."

Sasuke drew another deep breath in through his nose, releasing it slowly through his mouth. He tried to remember every relaxation tip he had ever learned in a herculean effort to keep control of the appendage that was slowly rising back to life between his legs. Naruto was… in his lap… this idiot was… in the exact same position he had fantasized about in his dreams since high school. But this was better. Naruto was talking about saving people… looking up at him with those eyes that always seemed to be so full of passionate conviction. How could Sasuke possibly not be aroused?

"Sasuke… "

"What?" Sasuke desperately tried to snap out of it. His voice sounded harsh and annoyed as he tried to force his blood to remain north of the border.

"We have to make this look like you're getting serviced, or it will draw attention. Put your hand..." Naruto paused, unable to believe he was even saying this. "...Put it on my head and uh...make it look like you're pressing down, okay?"

_For the love of god._

"You have _got _to be kidding," Sasuke said almost miserably, taking a deep breath before biting out, "Fine, just... hurry up and start talking. I don't have all day to sit in the car and chat."

Apprehensively, he held out his hand and laid it flat on the top of Naruto's head. Naruto's hair was soft like he'd remembered from the few times he'd touched it in their fights. Sasuke continued to feel the heat from Naruto's body seeping into his thighs and groin, and desperately hoped that Naruto would say whatever he was going to say before he completely embarrassed himself. To Sasuke's increased discomfort, Naruto gave an affirmative nod which caused another wave of heat to wash over his body.

His hand on the steering wheel clenched until his knuckles turned white, and the hand on the young officers head slowly threaded into blond locks, causing Sasuke to almost groan with the prospect of what he could do right now if this were under different circumstances. This was _dangerous._ Sasuke willed down images of unzipping his pants and fucking that perfect pink mouth. Which was not helping his whole 'don't get an erection' strategy.

Meanwhile, Naruto was trying to get his thoughts in order of exactly what he needed to tell Sasuke so they could both escape this embarrassing situation as quickly as possible. He didn't think the situation could get any more… _awkward_, but he became distracted by the temperature in the car, which had spiked some since he took purchase on Sasuke's lap. He felt a slow coil of heat build in his stomach.

Naruto felt nervous all of a sudden as he recognized it for what it was. He was, getting aroused? That was stupid. He drew in a breath to steady his nerves, simultaneously inhaling Sasuke's cologne. It was a dizzying scent. A smell that further sent that heat rising further up his cheeks. And oddly… other places lower down as well. Naruto forced himself to just focus on what he had to say.

"...Alright, I can't tell you exactly what I'm doing, but… obviously I am working under cover. I need you to promise me you won't tell anyone you saw me here, or that I am a cop. It's not safe for you to come around here anymore, Sasuke, so after I leave this car you need to drive away and stay away from this area until I," He swallowed and stared at the emergency break, "...I, or someone else lets you know that it's safe."

"Look, idiot, I'm not here for entertainment. I am here.." _Fuck, _he needed to stay calm. "...here," He swallowed, reaffirming the word, _not_ stuttering like a schoolgirl, "...looking for a witness to a crime that one of my clients has been accused of committing."

"I understand, but you need to find your evidence somewhere else or let the police do it for you because if you stay here, there's a chance you can get hurt...and as a cop, I can't let a civilian be at risk... especially one that I know well...and all."

Sasuke gave a slow smile. "Are you saying you care about me, Officer Uzumaki?"

Sasuke's voice had dropped in pitch, and it further tightened coil of tension through Naruto's stomach. Naruto almost jolted off his lap, but Sasuke's hand remained on his head, keeping him from doing so. He was almost _happy _his face was hidden in the other's crotch - who'd have thought that would ever cross his mind in a million years - because his face was flushed an embarrassing shade of pink.

"N-No, stupid… I'm just doing my job. Don't get the wrong idea," Naruto practically sputtered. Just then, Naruto had looked up somewhat nervously and licked his lips. Sasuke knew it was not meant as a sexual overture, but _godfuckingdamit._ He almost groaned.

"And what idea would that be, Naruto?" Sasuke murmured, his fist tightening in Naruto's hair. "What idea could I be getting with your head in my lap, and your hand on my hip?"

Naruto became still.

He wasn't dense. He knew the implications. He could read the body language… And as his cheek rested against Sasuke's thin pants, his gaze drifted down from Sasuke's face to the formation of a hardening bulge. There was no way Naruto would miss the _not insignificant_ tent that had formed in Sasuke's lap. Naruto felt his brain short-circuit slightly at the sight of just how... _impressive_ it was. His eyes widened several fractions when he realized that what he was doing was plainly, admiring another man's _junk._

Naruto was sympathetic_… after all he was dressed like a girl and in a position that would make ANY man think of sex, right? Evidently even the ice prince Uchiha can get aroused at the idea of someone sucking his cock. But… _that didn't explain Naruto's own reaction.

_Damnit… This is Sai's fault for all his joking around, _Naruto thought to sudden mental image of him performing his job for real on Sasuke flashed through his mind, causing him to cough. Sasuke would probably kill him if he knew what he'd just imagined, if only briefly. He tried to look away, formulating words on his tongue, not sure exactly how or… _if _he should address this.

Sasuke stiffened further as Naruto's hand braced harder against Sasuke's hip, and the blond tried to put a little distance between his face and Sasuke's erection. Sasuke noticed the blush slowly forming on Naruto's cheeks and spreading down his neck, and the heat coming off Naruto's body was stirring him up even more.

Why couldn't he have been wearing jeans today? They would have done a much better job at concealing what was suddenly becoming a significant problem between his thighs than the thin, loose wool of his suit.

"Sasuke, you…" Naruto began, the bob of his adam's apple prominent as he swallowed and tried to form a coherent thought. "You're, uh…"

"Don't say anything," Sasuke growled, arching his head back with his eyes closed as he tried to draw on every ounce of reserve to kill his erection, but Naruto's voice and scent and heat were preventing that. He tried to focus on naked old women, the thought of his parents having sex, anything revolting enough to overcome the presence of his high school fantasy all dressed up and ready to go in the front seat of his car.

Nothing worked.

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_Till next time...! (Wonder if Sasuke can hold out for that long.)_


	6. Chapter 6 - A Tempting Offer

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana own nothing, and will never own anything, but if we did own it..._We wouldn't conform to societal pressures for the sake of appeasing fans._

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **For the sake of not spoiling much we won't even rant about the last chapter, though I'm sure some of you have heard what went down. If you haven't stay away from tumblr. But despite every person's own takes on what could be and what honestly _should be, _we have to take a step back and just reflect on the joy the manga has brought us and the lesson's we've learned from it. I'm sure a number of you are either happy or seriously tossing your computers out the window. Just know it's been a long journey. Team Seven is and forever will be in my heart. So, fans, put aside your differences and let's just take a moment to mourn and remember the beginnings. How we got here. Where it started... With a team, a dream, and a knucklehead ninja, struggling to find his place in the world...

Also, **BIG ANNOUNCMENT **FROM** KIZUKATANA **HERSELF. **Kizukatana says: **In celebration of the 'fabulous' chapter 700, I am willing to write 3 PWPs (see details in my profile for submission guidelines and mechanism) ANYTHING GOES as long as both Sasuke and Naruto are involved (can involve others as well, but those two have to be in it). I will post some delicious lemonade on my site until it gets taken down by homophobic fascists.

Noodles and I have our fingers in our ears saying "lalaalalalalalal I can't hear you" to chapter 700. That is all. We come bearing smut.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 - A Tempting Offer<strong>

* * *

><p>"<em>Sasuke, you…" Naruto began, the bob of his adam's apple prominent as he swallowed and tried to form a coherent thought. "You're, uh…"<em>

"_Don't say anything," Sasuke growled, arching his head back with his eyes closed as he tried to draw on every ounce of reserve to kill his erection, but Naruto's voice and scent and heat were preventing that._

"But you're…"

"Stop speaking."

"You're hard," Naruto stated as if it weren't obvious, his voice sounding oddly raspy.

Sasuke's leg muscles clenched has he held himself still through sheer force of will. When Naruto had walked over to his car and turned his leather-clad ass towards him then _bent down_, Sasuke had thought he was going to lose his mind. And possibly cum on the spot. But that was _nothing _compared to the damage that was being done to his brain right now.

"Of course I'm hard, idiot. I have a hooker's mouth two inches from my cock. What do you expect?"

"_Naruto, what the hell are you doing? The windows are tinted, but we can still see through them. You look like you're taking a nap in his lap. Either make it look real or get the hell out of the car before you blow your cover," _Kiba's voice urgently came through the earpiece. For once he didn't sound like he was joking.

Naruto glared up at Sasuke, annoyed at the jab. He always, ALWAYS had to make Naruto feel embarrassed or pissed off in some way inferior. He hated that Sasuke was always in control. He hated always being the one to lose it while Sasuke simply stood there coolly smirking. _But not this time_, Naruto thought, his eyes drawn back down against his will to the sight of Sasuke's undeniable slip of control standing up proudly in his lap.

Naruto swallowed again, shoved down the slight dizziness that the sight of Sasuke's prominent erection was causing him, and instead lifted his eyes to lock onto Sasuke's dark gaze. He noted that Sasuke's pupils were slightly dilated, his eyes half-lidded. He could feel the man's pulse racing under his fingers that rested on the defense attorney's hip. Naruto couldn't help but grin, amused. Sasuke could say what he wanted, but he couldn't deny his state of arousal.

"So any warm mouth would do, huh?" Naruto taunted, feeling oddly annoyed at the thought.

Sasuke might be turned on just because of the forced intimacy of their position, but there was no doubt that his old classmate was seriously aroused here. It was a position of vulnerability that Naruto had never seen Sasuke in. In all the years of high school, he'd never even seen Sasuke kiss someone, much less get a hard-on. Seeing Sasuke's usually cool and aloof face flushed with arousal gave Naruto a sense of heady power. For some reason he... wanted to see just how far he could push him. It isn't like chances to tease Sasuke like this came every day.

Naruto narrowed his eyes almost predatorily as he sat up, hiking up his skirt enough that he was able to straddle Sasuke's thighs, feeling the evidence of Sasuke's desire pressed against his stomach. He might as well have some fun with this. Sasuke had brought this on himself for refusing to be reasonable when Naruto had told him to get out of here. Naruto braced his hands on either side of Sasuke's headrest, effectively trapping him into his seat. Sasuke's eyes looked completely blank for a second as he slowly let his hands slide down from Naruto's hair over his back until they rested on his hips.

"That looks painful, Sasuke," Naruto murmured, holding back a grin, glancing pointedly at Sasuke's lap. "Maybe you should call one of the professionals over to take care of it then. Since it doesn't matter who."

Sasuke gripped Naruto's hips and gave one sharp thrust upwards, causing his cock to rub against Naruto's in one delicious slide of friction. Naruto felt an unexpected spike of lust shoot through him at the unfamiliar sensation of having another man's erection pressed against his own. To his shock he realized he was already semi-hard. Sasuke groaned slightly, letting his head fall back against the seat again.

Naruto hesitantly looked up to meet Sasuke's heated gaze, and saw awareness flare in those black eyes. It was in that moment of trepidation that Naruto instantly regretted toying with the situation.

"I should… get out now," Naruto said, feeling like the balance of power was about to shift radically.

"You should have thought about that before you straddled me. You created the problem, Naruto. Now you're going to fix it."

With those words, Sasuke thrust up once more, at the same time fisting his hands in Naruto's hair and crushing their mouths together.

The oxygen in Naruto's lungs left him. Sasuke moved forward just enough so he was forcing Naruto's back against the steering wheel. The young officer's skirt was shoved up even further, giving Sasuke an excellent view as he moved his mouth into a rough, demanding kiss.

"_Holy shit, Naruto, are you guys doing what I think you're doing?"_ Kiba's voice went completely ignored in Naruto's earpiece.

Naruto felt dizzy, disoriented, as Sasuke's tongue slid into his stunned, open mouth. Not knowing what to do with his own hands, barely even remembering that he _had_ hands, Naruto could do nothing but grab Sasuke's shoulders and close his eyes during the ride.

His own tongue began to move in time with the others, finding that Sasuke was pretty good at kissing... In fact, compared to any girlfriends he's had, Sasuke was without a doubt the best at this. Naruto had thought he was pretty experienced in kissing, but he had never had a kiss affect him this much. It felt more like Sasuke was devouring him whole as a hand slid now from Naruto's hip to his thigh and gently stroked the skin there.

"_...Sai what the FUCK do you think you're doing? Zip up, and cover that shit up man, this isn't happy hour. I know you think they're hot together but this is not the fucking time for that." _

Naruto didn't hear the words, too focused on everywhere Sasuke touched… his whole body _burned_. He realized that he was devouring Sasuke right back, and that his cock was now at full attention as their hips thrust together in an almost fevered pace. Naruto felt his stomach tighten and felt his sensibility staggering at the fact that he was moaning into the other's mouth. He felt like he was just about to cum in his skirt - Haku would kill him - when they were once again interrupted.

"_Wait. Shit,_ _Naruto, get Sasuke the hell out of there! We've spotted someone who looks like he might be our guy. He's taking pictures of you and Sasuke with a telephoto lens. Get out of Sasuke's car so we can see if he will approach you. He's in the blue Ford a block up."_

Naruto's eyes flew felt like a bucket of ice water had just been dumped on him. His whole body froze. Pressing his hands against Sasuke's chest to motion that they needed to stop, Sasuke let out a frustrated sound as Naruto pulled back, his face flushed. Knowing that they were being watched, Naruto leaned his mouth in so it brushed against Sasuke's ear, his heart thundering in his chest at the thought that it looked like he was going to whisper something dirty.

He needed to be sure that he gave no sign that he had taken notice of the suspect, or it could scare him off before Sai or Zabuza could get close enough to see if it is who they're looking for and force him to give a DNA sample. They had to be careful, because if it ended up being just a random perv who liked to watch, then they'd blow the operation.

"Sasuke," He struggled to suck in a breath, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind but all of them being smothered by the urgency of what was going down. "Someone is taking pictures of us. There is a chance that this is the person we are out here looking for. If that's the case, you… you could be in very real danger if you stay here any longer. So, I want you to pretend to pay me, and drive away. Don't argue, Sasuke, okay? Just trust me. Don't go home tonight in case he traces the license number on your car and finds you. Stay with your parents, or with Itachi."

Sasuke couldn't believe this was happening. He _finally_ had the guy he'd been fantasizing about having sex with since he knew what sex was, _in his lap,_ and hard and thrusting against him, and they were _stopping? _No... No this couldn't be happening. But Naruto was still talking and slowly pulling away from him.

"Someone from the police will contact you with more information once we know more. And _this..._" Naruto let the sentence hang, clearly not knowing what to say but sounding slightly apologetic.

Sasuke tensed, forcing himself to let go of Naruto's hip and as he scanned the street ahead of them. Naruto slid off his lap and into the passenger seat, straightening his skirt as best he could under the circumstances.

Sasuke raked a hand through his hair, trying to calm down and focus. Naruto's tone had hardened, taking on a serious edge that Sasuke had rarely heard the blond use, and he knew that this must be a situation that required all of Naruto's attention. Which meant Sasuke would take it seriously, too, as much as he was nearly delirious with need to continue where they left off. So instead of coming up with some barb to get under Naruto's skin like he usually would, Sasuke simply reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, taking a bunch of twenties and handing them to Naruto.

"Don't be stupid and get yourself shot again," Sasuke muttered, still trying to wrap his head around what just happened. What he had thought would _never_ happen, but couldn't process under the current conditions.

Naruto gave a curt nod, counting the bills in his hand like a pro, though fumbling a bit when he realized Sasuke had forked over two hundred dollars, when the going rate on this street was probably twenty. Show off. He gave Sasuke a look that said, '_really, is all this necessary?'_

Sasuke gave Naruto one of his superior smirks, instantly annoying the blond as he stepped out of the car and closed the door behind him.

"You're not getting this back, asshole," Naruto said under his breath.

Sasuke's smirk turned wolfish as he fell into their familiar pattern of taunting each other. "It was worth every penny, Dobe."

He rolled up the window and slowly pulled away from the curb, trying not to be obviously looking for someone with a camera. He wondered if the guy was going to try to blackmail him with photos of him with a prostitute, but somehow Naruto didn't seem to have been worried about that sort of thing, or he would have warned Sasuke specifically about it. No. Naruto's reaction felt like this was something much more serious. And Sasuke was just driving off, leaving Naruto to face it on his own.

His hands tightly gripped the steering wheel, contemplating turning around at the next block and staying to keep an eye on him; but he knew he couldn't without jeopardizing Naruto's cover. Besides, Naruto was strong and despite being driven on impulse sometimes, he didn't behave recklessly if it wasn't in the best interest of those he cared about. Plus, without knowing what was going on, Sasuke would likely put Naruto at more risk by trying to interfere.

So Sasuke decided he would listen to Naruto, just this once.

But that didn't mean he wasn't going to find out what the hell was going on. Maybe he'd go have a chat with Itachi.

And then… then he would think about what had just happened in the front seat of his car. And spend the rest of the night in a marathon bout of self-gratification to hopefully rid himself of what he feared could be a semi-permanent erection caused by the experience.

* * *

><p>"<em>We need to be sure he's the right guy. Right now his face is too obscured to see clearly. If he doesn't come out on his own, I'm going to direct you where to walk so we can get him to come out of the vehicle or at least move somewhat so we can get a better visual on his face. But until I do, don't make eye contact. Just carry on as you normally would. Kiba and I will be monitoring him the entire time. Any hostile actions taken by the suspect and we've got your back, Uzumaki."<em>

Naruto signaled he understood with a grunt under his breath. By the way Sai sounded, not even cracking a joke about his ass, he understood that the man in the vehicle was suspicious enough to elicit immediate consideration, and Sai was now all business. It made Naruto's confidence in the man as a cop go up.

Now Naruto had to earn his stripes. So he fixed his skirt, and tried to mask the serious look of concentration on his face by pushing a strand of blond hair behind his ear with a trained, ditzy smile. He distractedly tucked the money Sasuke gave him into the padding of his bra.

_This is it, _Naruto's instincts were telling him. Naruto was praying that this was the guy they were looking for as he sauntered up to a lamp post and casually leaned against it, like he was waiting for a customer. He held out a hand and tilted it from left to right, _checking _his nails. If this is the killer, then there is no reason for him to _not _approach. Currently, Naruto was alone… Or at least it looked like he was. The other 'girls'were a block further than him, preoccupied with their own dealings. And if the conditions weren't already perfect enough, he was near an alley which would be the ideal place for the perp to take him.

From reading the report, the previous victims were approached and coerced by the killer when there were no civilians around, and forcefully taken somewhere before they were murdered. Naruto bit his lip, resisting the urge to look over his shoulder to glance at the suspect in the Ford. He knew that if this was the same guy, he was thinking about doing more than taking pictures - it was only a matter of time before he made a move. And when he did Naruto was ready to take him down.

"_He put the camera away." _Kiba's voice came through his earpiece, hints of anxiety peeking through. _"I think he's coming out of the car, Naruto."_

Naruto's ears perked. He listened for the sound of a car door opening and closing shut. Anticipating the encounter, his head slightly tugged towards the side where the killer would approach him, knowing that if he was going to be outright attacked he needed to be prepared to fight, possibly for his life. But if he was merely going to be spoken to, he needed to be ready to flirt, entice the suspect. He was going to have to delve into that part of himself he spent days fabricating, all for the purposes of this one moment. Naruto held his breath.

He was going to make what happened to Haku and the other victim's right.

"_Shit! He's not getting out of the car!"_

Naruto's heart almost dropped to his stomach.

"_He's leaving. We never got a clear shot of his face to show Haku. Fuck!"_ Kiba's voice came through Naruto's earpiece.

Right then, all of the adrenaline was extinguished and Naruto was left hollow, trying to not let his disappointment and frustration show. _Damnit_. If that was the killer, then they had just let him get away. If it wasn't, and the killer was somewhere else watching, then they had made the right call.

The bitch was that they really didn't know.

Naruto cursed under his breath, stepping away from the lamppost and heading in the direction where Zabuza would meet up with him. It's not like he really expected to catch the killer on his first day on the street. After all, Kakashi had SAID that they guy had a pattern of waiting three weeks between kills, though he had failed to actually kill Haku, so they didn't really know where they were in his cycle. He might have started at week zero, but he also might be frustrated and wanting to accelerate the timing and move sooner.

Still, it didn't matter for today.

The guy was gone.

At least now they knew to look for the car. Hopefully Naruto had already captured the man's attention. Naruto sighed. He never thought he would be praying to have actually attracted the sexual interest of a murderer. It was funny what being a cop made you wish for.

Frustrated, Naruto turned and walked back to his original position. He still had three more hours to finish out his shift. Though he knew it was unlikely that the man would be back today.

Naruto braced himself against the increasing chill of the night breeze. And against thinking about what had happened with Sasuke. He knew he'd have to deal with those thoughts eventually. But not when he was standing on a street corner, still on the clock, as bait for a serial killer.

* * *

><p>"Time to give daddy a go," a deep voice came just behind Naruto. He would have jumped if he hadn't already seen Zabuza come out of the flophouse.<p>

Naruto felt both relief and disappointment flood through him at the prospect of his first day being over. The blisters on his feet felt like they were bleeding, so he couldn't deny he'd be glad to be off his feet, but at the same time their one real suspect that they'd had today had gotten away before they could do anything.

Naruto let Zabuza manhandle him toward the flophouse, giving anyone watching the impression of a pimp taking a turn with his favorite whore.

Once they were inside, Zabuza released him and stepped away. Naruto groaned loudly and kicked off his shoes, not caring about the dirty stairs as he walked up to the small room where Sai had hooked up his wire and tracking device that morning.

Kiba and Kakashi were there with Sai, standing in front of a computer screen, all with serious expressions.

"We didn't get a good enough look at the guy to be able to know if he matches Haku's description," Sai said in frustration.

Kakashi shrugged. "It's the first day. We didn't expect to collar him today. Just be glad that this went smoothly. It could have been a lot messier, but you all worked well together and Naruto here was an excellent actor."

Naruto gave a half smile.

The praise was smothered by the weight of his disappointment. He had taken on several assignments since becoming a police officer. From the stupid to the downright sick and depraved, he's had many instances where he's questioned the moral integrity of his fellow man, and many more instances where he'd had to face what it truly means to be a part of law enforcement. Several times he's felt the sting of failure, of being unable to rightfully hand out justice, or being too late to prevent something bad from happening… but the stakes had never been as high as they were now, he realized, as he pulled off the wiring from under his bra. Sai worked on detaching the other device that was attached to the inside of his skirt.

He felt like he screwed up.

Naruto hoped to god that no one got killed because they hadn't been able to get the guy in the blue Ford today. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd done something wrong. Had he not been convincing enough in his performance, is that why the perp left? And if it was his fault…would the killer even come back? Haku had been assaulted and many others had been hurt. So many lives had been ruined by this asshole, and they were depending on him to stop it. Yet here he was, wasting time by resting his feet and sleeping.

"Naruto," Kakashi's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Naruto straightened up. Kakashi tapped on the mouse of the computer and opened up a small tab. When Naruto got a better look he realized it was a photograph. Of Sasuke. "What is your relationship with Sasuke Uchiha? Kiba said you knew him from high school. We need to figure out how to handle what happened today to make sure it doesn't compromise the operation. Will he keep his mouth shut?"

"Sasuke won't give us any problems," Naruto responded without any doubt about that statement. Though just mentioning Sasuke was already making him feel light headed, and the photograph Kakashi was showing him - of him on Sasuke's lap in the car - was causing a familiar stir in his stomach.

Kakashi eyed him for a moment. "Kiba said he was some kind of rival of yours in high school, but not really a friend of yours. You sound pretty sure he will have your back on this."

"He's not the type of person who would put others at risk. He can be an asshole, but...he's a good guy," Naruto muttered, unable to believe he was defending the other so easily, but knowing in his heart that it was true.

Kakashi looked at Kiba for confirmation, and the brunette simply nodded.

"Ok, well. I read the transcripts of what happened between the two of you. That must have been some rivalry for you to go at it like that in the middle of the street. But at least it is one less thing to worry about. Good job keeping your cover, Naruto..."

Naruto's mouth opened and closed. His face flushed an interesting shade as he nodded silently. Right. His cover. If only he could convince himself that what he had done had _anything_ to do with keeping his cover.

"...But we will have to deal with the fact that he called out your name when he first pulled up, and people from the street could hear it. He was obviously familiar with you. So we need somehow to work in some sort of cover story for how a new hooker apparently has someone from his past showing up without raising suspicion, just in case."

"If Naruto's a prostitute, maybe Sasuke is an old pimp? Or a regular John from a different corner he used to work?" Kiba suggested, causing an eyebrow raise from Kakashi. "What? That happens right? Exchanges? Hell if I know guys, stop looking at me like that."

"From what I heard in that car, that could be closer to reality than what Naruto was letting on earlier," Sai supplied helpfully, earning a cuff on the back of the head from Naruto, who suddenly, faintly recalled what was said during his session with Sasuke. Something quite disturbing.

"Sai," Naruto's expression was one of earnest disgust and apprehension, "Did you really… Jack off when Sasuke and I were…? Because if you did you better start running. I'm not in heels anymore, so you won't get very far."

Sai rolled his eyes. "Naruto. As hot as watching you and your high school boyfriend go at it in his car was, I actually was busy watching the street looking for our guy. You must know Kiba well enough by now to tell when he's, as I have heard people say, yanking your chain."

"Yeah if he was really launching the hand shuttle next to me I would have probably kicked his ass before it blasted off- and what the hell was that all about?" Kiba snorted, "I said make it _look_ real, I didn't say you needed to actually _fuck_ Sasuke. I know you take your job seriously but damn-"

"Gah! What the hell, Kiba! I just did what you told me to do. I didn't even touch his… just... shut up!" Naruto felt his face get hot, and knew he was blushing. The amused gaze of the four men in the room told him it didn't go unnoticed.

"Did he want you to touch it? Did _you_ want to touch it?" Kiba teased, as the blond, mini-skirt wearing officer tackled Kiba to the ground and was about to punch him in his face before Kakashi caught his arm.

"Hey, hey! I'm just asking a simple question. Calm your tits. So, for real though, how big was he? I'm sure he's probably grown since gym class all those years ago."

Naruto strained against Kakashi's hold, muttering what appeared to be death threats at his _former_ partner.

"Ok. I think we need to stay focused here," Kakashi said calmly, not releasing his hold on Naruto's arm. "Inuzuka, I brought you in because you are a good cop and know how to work with Naruto, but we can't afford distractions now. The only thing we need to worry about is how to play this. In a way, Sasuke's appearance and Naruto's… performance... could have been exactly what we needed if the guy you saw taking pictures is our boy. Naruto was clearly able to make it look real enough. And the guy liked what he saw. If Sasuke were a past client, then he would have had to be a regular to know Naruto's name. Which means he would be a regular now."

"What?!" Naruto screamed at the implication, tensing under Kakashi's vice like grip. "W-Wait a second, hold on...Are you...Are you suggesting that Sasuke be my…? No way. NO way! You're nuts! You can't expect me to - Us, you can't expect _us _to…Captain, that can't happen!"

Sai hummed thoughtfully. "Well, it is true that Naruto did appear much more authentic with Sasuke than with the other clients. If the man likes to watch a little action before he moves in for the kill, it would need to be realistic."

Zabuza grunted in agreement, ignoring Naruto's outburst along with the rest of the officers in the room. "But we don't know for sure that the guy with the camera is our target."

"We can't involve a civilian," Naruto said adamantly, masking the nervousness in his voice by appealing to reason. He didn't like the sick feeling in his stomach at the thought of Sasuke getting caught in the cross-fire on this if things went wrong. "It wouldn't be right. We can't put Sasuke in danger like that."

"Hmm, that is true. It would be against procedure," Kakashi said thoughtfully, and Naruto's eyes brightened. "But we might need to make an exception to keep your cover…."

Kiba grinned evilly, "We could have Sai do it then. They look a lot alike. Don't they Naruto?"

Naruto instantly paled. Sai slid an arm around his waist and leered.

"I'd be willing to take one for the team," Sai said. He pressed his mouth against Naruto's ear, "Or give one… however you like it, Officer Uzumaki."

"No. Fucking. Way." Naruto deadpanned, pushing his hand in Sai's face to keep him at bay. Sai made a sound of protest. "No, this is not happening. Tell me there's another way, Captain."

Kakashi shrugged. "At this point, it's the only lead we have, Uzumaki. You can take your pick. Sai or Sasuke. With Sasuke, we'd have to clear it with the Chief."

Naruto swallowed, and surprisingly Zabuza spoke. "Look, kid. It's not going to be real. You just have to fake it like today. Nothing will _actually_ happen. It just has to look good." Even Kiba's face was serious and slightly sympathetic.

Naruto frowned. Zabuza was right, this was just an act. If he wanted to catch this guy, he needed to play the part perfectly...and without Sai or Sasuke, there was an even bigger chance that the killer would sense something was wrong. If that happened, he'd never get justice for Haku and the murdered prostitutes. Naruto looked at Kakashi, Kiba, Zabuza, and finally Sai. His eyes flickered from Sai's amused face, which did look a lot like Sasuke's, to the image on the screen.

He took a deep breath. There was really only one choice he could make.

"...I choose..."

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_Seeyou next week!_


	7. Chapter 7 - Who's Your Daddy?

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana sadly own zero, zilch, nada of Naruto. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. But if we did own it, you could be damn sure there would be lots of ass kicking cops in skirts.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **We are having so much fun with this fic that we're writing these chapters at the speed of light. Reading all the support you've given us has really been encouraging, and we're incredibly happy that you like this fic of ours. Working together is a real joy, writing it even more so, and we hope to keep you guys laughing, (crying), keyboard mashing, and smiling until the end.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7 - Who's Your Daddy?<strong>

* * *

><p>After leaving Naruto, Sasuke drove fifteen blocks before pulling into a parking lot and calling his brother. He decided that if someone was going to try to track him down with pictures of him and a male hooker in the front seat of his car, he'd rather not be at his parent's house when that happened.<p>

"Itachi. I had some trouble when I was looking for a witness to one of my client's crimes. The police told me not to go back to my place tonight. Are you still in town?"

"_Sasuke, where are you?"_

Sasuke looked up and read the cross street, giving his brother his location.

"_Meet me at the Four Seasons in the lounge. I'll reserve a room."_

Which was how Sasuke found himself sharing a suite with his brother in the nicest hotel in the city, being grilled on just what exactly he had been doing. In retrospect, having his parents seeing him in action with a hooker might have been preferable.

"So, you were out looking for a hooker, and you ran into Naruto. Despite knowing he was a police officer likely working undercover with a full surveillance team recording his every word and movement, you invited him into your car where you proceeded to 'pretend' to have sexual intercourse, while an unknown person took photos, then you paid him in cash. With your fingerprints on both the money and Officer Uzumaki as well. You were then told that the person with the camera was a potential risk to your safety and you were not to return to your home this evening, presumably since his photos would have your face and license plate in them. And you were further told that the police would contact you shortly to inform you of what they could do about the situation and your exposure level. Have I missed anything, Little Brother?"

"I didn't invite him into my car," Sasuke found himself muttering under his breath. Leave it to Itachi to frame the story so that Sasuke looked like an idiot thinking with his dick. "The dumbass forced himself into my vehicle by threatening me with those four inch heels of his. Even after I expressly said multiple times I didn't want to risk being seen with a prostitute, undercover or otherwise, he -"

Itachi smirked knowingly, holding up a hand to cut him off. "Naruto, being Naruto, didn't listen to you, is that right Sasuke? I wonder how much effort he really had to put into 'forcing' you to let him into your car. What was the lovely Officer Uzumaki wearing this evening?"

Sasuke tried and failed to keep the flush from rising to his cheekbones at the memory of just _exactly_ what Naruto had been wearing. And how it had looked. And what it had shown off when he was straddling Sasuke's lap. And how Sasuke's hands had fisted in his hair. And… _fuck, he had to stop thinking about this or- _

"Sasuke," Itachi raised an elegant brow, glancing discreetly towards the prominent, growing issue in the vicinity of Sasuke's lap. "Do you need some privacy?" He asked with an amused chuckle.

Sasuke crossed his legs and leaned forward. "Fuck _off_ Itachi. I knew I shouldn't have called you."

"Would you rather have had our father witness that? I suppose our loving mother would have been more sympathetic. She never did properly give you the sex talk. I would be more than happy to discuss anything you might have questions about."

"_Father_ would not have been asking me to describe what the male hooker I took into my car was dressed like, seeing as he'd be too busy making phone calls to secure the family's reputation. You are just being a sadistic asshole."

"Language, Sasuke," Itachi said, not denying the charge at all. "I assume you called me for a reason other than to simply discuss the finer points of Officer Uzumaki's physique, though even I will admit that after his little 'demonstration' in your courtroom, I can more than see why he was chosen for this assignment. Perhaps tomorrow I might even take a drive -"

"Don't you _dare_ go anywhere near him, Itachi," Sasuke growled, feeling a possessive anger surge through him at the thought of anyone else seeing Naruto like that. Especially his perfect older brother.

Itachi raised his hands in mock surrender, unholy amusement glowing in his eyes. "I wouldn't dream of doing anything that would upset you, Sasuke, especially if you feel this strongly. Now, what did you call me for?"

Sasuke glared at Itachi. Of course, he was right. "They won't tell me what the case is that Naruto is working. But I bet you could find out."

Itachi shifted, and looked down at one perfectly manicured hand. "I likely could find out. But I would need a pretty good reason to interfere with an active, undercover police operation."

"I want to… keep an eye on him."

"I admire your dedication to the safety of our local law enforcement representatives. However, I am sure that if an officer were killed in the line of duty, it would end up in the papers eventually. No need to follow it first-hand," Itachi said blithely.

The unsettled look on Sasuke's face only intensified at Itachi's comment. Sasuke exhaled through his nose, trying not to seem peeved. And trying not to think about reading Naruto's obituary in the paper someday. "Nothing's going to happen to Naruto," he said flatly, as if he was trying to convince himself. He didn't want to think about the likely risks of an assignment like Naruto's. He felt his stomach clench. "The idiot is capable of handling himself. I just want to make sure that he doesn't do something stupid that will drag me down with him."

Itachi watched him with an inscrutable, almost bored look on his face. But Sasuke, used to deciphering Uchiha facial expressions, knew his brother was fishing for something. And it didn't take a genius of his caliber to figure out what.

"I can call his supervising officer in the morning and file a complaint against him for bringing in a civilian, and let them know that the department is responsible for ensuring that no reputational damage befalls you or the family from his actions. Again, I see no need for any personal involvement on your part."

Sasuke gave Itachi a hard look, but didn't say anything.

"Of course, if there were some _other_ reason you were interested in this _particular_ officer's well-being, I could possibly be persuaded to find out more about the situation." Itachi pulled out a small bottle of black nail lacquer and calmly began painting his nails.

Sasuke watched him critically, detesting this. Itachi was giving him an ultimatum and whether he was fond of it or not was irrelevant. Itachi had no need for money. But he had named his price. Now it was up to Sasuke as to whether he would pay. Swallowing his pride, Sasuke's lips formed a thin, tight line.

"I'm concerned for him."

Itachi raised a flawless eyebrow, clearly letting his foolish little brother know that that was nowhere near sufficient of a declaration. "Oh?" He moved the tiny black brush smoothly over his pinky nail, barely looking up at Sasuke.

Sasuke gritted his teeth.

"I want to keep an eye on him for… personal reasons."

Itachi finally designed to look up at that, indicating that Sasuke was getting warmer. "And what would those 'personal' reasons be?"

"They're personal. So I would like to keep them my business."

"Ah," Itachi said, finishing his last nail, then screwing the cap back on the small black bottle and setting it aside. "Well, I am sure the police would say that Naruto's case is confidential, and none of _your_ business. So we seem to be at an impasse. I can only be as explicit with you as you are with me, Sasuke. But of course, it is your decision."

"I…" Sasuke's throat felt dry. He steeled his gaze, shaking it off. "I'm keeping an eye on him because I... _care…."_

"Care?"

"I care whether or not he ends up in a ditch somewhere. Is that enough for you, Itachi?"

"Hn," Itachi said. "Well. With that information I could probably find out how long Naruto will be working the corner, but nothing really more specific than that. Is that enough information for _you_, Sasuke?"

"What more could you possibly want from me?" Sasuke hissed irritably.

"I suppose if you are going to ask me to involve myself in violating government agency protocol to get confidential information on an undercover investigation for you, I would most likely want to know how serious you are about this person, and what you think you are going to do with more specific information about his current assignment."

Sasuke was looking away now, his face uncharacteristically drawn into lines of deep deliberation, and Itachi sighed.

"Just answer this question for me, Sasuke. Are you doing this because you harbor… _strong _feelings for Naruto Uzumaki?"

Sasuke was quiet for a minute.

"Yes," came the pensive reply.

"And can you give me your word that you will not involve yourself in any way in his case without either direct approval from his supervising officer or me?"

Another reflective pause. Itachi would hold him to his promise.

"Yes. I give you my word."

"Very well. I will make some calls. Go to sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

* * *

><p>"Mr. Uchiha."<p>

Sasuke tore his gaze away from the mounds of paperwork on his desk to regard his assistant. He'd been working on his client's case, but with the lack of evidence, it was going to be hard to convince the jury that he didn't rob the store on Central Avenue. He used the word _hard, _rather than impossible because while evidence in his client's favor would have been _helpful,_ he had won numerous cases without it. Much to his father's chagrin.

But it wasn't lack of evidence that was causing him to be slightly unproductive that morning.

"Mr. Uchiha, we have a Kakashi Hatake and another officer from the Konoha Police Department here, requesting to see you."

Itachi's black eyes met Sasuke's. "Does he know that I know about the case?" Sasuke asked.

"No," Itachi said calmly. "I didn't go through official channels, given the time and sensitivity of the matter."

Sasuke nodded, understanding the implications of that. "Very well," he told his assistant. "Send them in."

The assistant bowed politely, and minutes later she arrived with Kakashi and Kiba in tow. With his hands in the pockets of his police uniform, Kiba gave a curt nod to both the Uchiha brothers, glancing up at Kakashi expectantly. Itachi gave the officers a cordial smile.

"Captain Hatake, Officer Inuzuka, good afternoon. What do we owe the pleasure?"

"We decided to drop by because of a confidential matter that concerns Defense Attorney Uchiha," Kiba replied first, his eyes meeting Itachi's in a display of authority. "I'm going to need you to wait outside, please."

"That won't be necessary Officer," Kakashi told Kiba, returning Itachi's smile with one that peeked from behind a health mask. "Itachi Uchiha. Still doing government work I presume?"

"Not currently, no. Right now my interests are focused on local matters," Itachi responded vaguely, his eyes glinting with humor. "I'm afraid I've become quite interested in my little brother's affairs."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed. He was familiar with what Itachi's "interest" in something could lead to. While having someone with Itachi's skills and resources involved could be helpful, it could also prove dangerous. Of course, it wasn't as though Kakashi was going to have any say in the matter.

"Well then, let's save ourselves the dancing around, shall we?" Kakashi sighed, folding his arms across his chest. "I assume you're aware of the case and the details regarding it, is that correct? And I can also assume that now Sasuke is aware of what's going on as well."

Kiba gaped at his superior, glancing from Itachi to Kakashi and back again.

"Wait a fucking second, that's confidential," Kiba dug into his pockets, "How the fuck could this guy-"

"Officer Inuzuka, arresting him would not be in your best interest. I can guarantee that Itachi will not jeopardize the case. And how he knows this information I can't divulge without severe repercussions. You're better off not knowing," Kakashi assured him, placing a hand on Kiba's shoulders to restrict his movements. Taking the hint, but not liking it at all, Kiba glared and shoved his handcuffs back into the back pocket of his jeans. Itachi merely smiled in acknowledgement, nodding his head once.

"Sasuke and I have a basic understanding, yes."

Sasuke placed a hand on his chin, directing his next question specifically to Kakashi.

"How's Naruto?" He asked seriously.

"He's well. So far the operation has gone off without any mishaps, except for the unexpected arrival of one of his old schoolmates." Kakashi leaned against the door of the office, analyzing Sasuke critically. "You probably have a guess as to why we're here. There was a man roughly matching the serial killer's description who was taking pictures of you and Officer Uzumaki in your Lincoln. At this point, we are reasonably confident that his interest is likely only on Uzumaki, given his history of targeting mostly prostitutes."

"_Reasonably _confident?" Itachi asked, frowning.

Kakashi shrugged. "He has targeted others before. One of Officer Uzumaki's friends was attacked by mistake. But he survived, and because of him we now have DNA to match our suspect to, if we catch him."

Sasuke shifted. He knew that if one of Naruto's friends were involved, the blond would be even more reckless in his determination to catch this guy. Sasuke's apprehension ratcheted up another notch.

"We believe Sasuke will be safe as long as he stays away from the area and doesn't draw any further attention from the suspect. However, his appearance yesterday might have caused a small problem in Officer Uzumaki's cover story that we were hoping you could help to fix."

"We need your car, so if you could hand it over, that'd be peachy," Kiba said bluntly, his face an aggravated, no nonsense look.

Two pair of coal black eyes looked flatly at Kiba. Kakashi cleared his throat. "I believe what Officer Inuzuka meant to say was that since the suspect might have heard Sasuke call Naruto's name when he arrived yesterday, we need to make it appear that this is a past client, someone who is a 'regular', if you will, who is familiar with Officer Uzumaki enough to know his name and seek him out specifically. Since the suspect has photographs that show the license plate and car, it would be helpful for us to use the car so that Naruto's 'regular' can continue to make appearances, especially since the man appeared to be so drawn to the performance the two of you put on."

Itachi shot Sasuke an amused look, and Sasuke drew on every ounce of Uchiha control to not blush.

"And who will be driving my car?" Sasuke asked, already anticipating an irritating answer. "If it was me in the car, what difference does it make to use my vehicle if I'm not in it? As you said, the man likely has a photograph of my face."

"We have an officer from vice who bears a decent resemblance to you. Given that your windows are tinted, as long as he is driving your car, it should be more than sufficient to pass scrutiny, even with the suspect's telephoto camera lens," Kakashi said.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, staring down Kiba dangerously.

"...And who did you choose that bears this resemblance to me?"

Kiba grinned. "His name is Sai Shin. I believe Kushina was mentioning just the other day how much the two of you look alike. Don't you remember, Sasuke?"

Sasuke abruptly stood from his desk, the paper work almost collapsing off the edge of the table. "He is _not _using my car," Sasuke stated flatly, the look on his face scathing enough to set the officer on fire. "I won't allow it."

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Well, Mr. Uchiha. It would be unfortunate if we had to compel you to allow us use of your vehicle. Officer Uzumaki was insistent that we not involve you, and simply rent another car for Officer Shin to use, but with the license plates and specifics of your car on his camera, there is just too much risk for substituting both the car and the driver without notice."

"I think it's too late to think about not involving me. You need my car and you need my face. If the suspect actually heard our exchange, then you also need my voice. Given that he already has the license plate number of my car which can be traced to my address, I am already at risk to a certain extent. The logical thing would be for me to continue to play the role of Naruto's 'regular'. It would provide the least risk to the operation without substantially increasing the risk to me, personally."

Kakashi looked at Sasuke for a moment, a flash of realization appearing in his eyes. He glanced at Itachi, who smirked. "You come from an influential family, Uchiha. I am not about to put my job on the line for you to have a little adventure with your high school sweetheart for old time's sake. The trouble I would get in for the fact that your brother was able to access confidential details of our operation is child's play compared to what would happen if I allowed a civilian to get killed as part of this undercover operation. Particularly and _Uchiha_ civilian. Your father is a pain in my ass on a good day. I'm not looking to make that experience any more excruciating than it already is."

Itachi spoke for the first time in the conversation. "And what if I could guarantee Sasuke's safety, and assume all responsibility for his well-being in this operation?"

"I'm aware of how capable you are, Itachi, but even then I'm not fond of the idea of Sasuke's emotions getting in the way of my officer's job or this case. I can't risk it."

"My brother is an Uchiha. He has no emotions, or haven't you heard? I will also put my own resources and skills into the effort, if that will tip the balance."

Sasuke held his breath. He hated having to have his brother vouch for him, but he hated the idea of Naruto being in his car with Sai's hands all over him even more.

"Your skills would benefit us… But, I need Sasuke to promise me that he will do everything we say. We can't afford any screw ups, and if I can save us the mess of another body on the street, then I will do anything to make sure that our department succeeds in catching this man. Do I make myself clear, Sasuke? If you were to participate in this operation, you may also be required to later appear before a Jury to vouch for the department and the integrity of our case, as well as your own actions in it. Can you do that, Defense Attorney?"

Itachi looked at Sasuke, who gave a terse nod in agreement. Itachi turned to face the officers. "Done. I will join the surveillance team during the times when Sasuke is in the field. When does all of this start?"

"Naruto is probably just getting ready to go to work now," Kiba offered helpfully, barely avoiding smirking at the dark look Sasuke shot him when he mentioned Naruto's work. Inside he was grinning like a madman at the thought of what Naruto's expression was going to be when he opened the door to Sasuke's Lincoln expecting to see Sai. He definitely needed to call Neji when this was all over.

* * *

><p>Naruto turned restlessly in his sleep.<p>

"_What? Your Honor, he can't possibly ask me to do that, can he?"_

_Sasuke merely smirked, knowing his request would be granted. _

_Judge Tsunade peered down at him from her seat. "Well, I don't really see how it will make a difference in the case, Counselor Uchiha, but since you are so brilliant and successful, I believe the court will make an allowance." Tsunade banged her gavel down as she issued her decision. "Officer Uzumaki. The court orders you to summon all your friends and relatives into this courtroom, and dress in the attire you were in when you arrested Mr. Uchiha's client two months ago on the corner of Central Avenue and Main."_

_The grand jury, in a spectacle of impressive swiftness, all pulled out their phones to record the scene. Naruto gaped._

"_B-but… your honor… Judge Tsunade…" _

"_Hurry up, Dobe. Didn't you hear the judge? I am so perfect and sexy and brilliant…" Sasuke's eyes gleamed, "...That she will let me do whatever I want to you in this courtroom. Just like back in high school. Loser." _

_The gavel banged again. "If you are not in fishnets and leather with your mother and high school football coach sitting in the front row of my court in fifteen minutes, I will find you in contempt and you will be removed from the major case squad."_

_"Just do it man, you're already YouTube famous." Kiba howled from the benches, holding up his phone._

_Zabuza appeared next to Kiba, smirking._

_"Give daddy a good show!"_

_The shadowy figure from the blue ford also appeared, his face concealed by an enormous camera. "Make it good. I'm watching you."_

_Naruto's parents and entire high school class, plus all of the guys from the police department suddenly came in the courtroom. Sai walked up and began unbuttoning Naruto's shirt and peeled it off in one swift motion._

"_WAIT!" Naruto shouted frantically, covering his naked, muscled torso. "C-Can't I at least change in the men's room?"_

"_Dobe, stop wasting the court's time. It's nothing you haven't shown us all before in here."_

"_Oh, don't be shy sweetie. I remember a time when your father…" His mother began, and Minato slapped a hand to his face and groaned. Sai simply smiled that same plastic smile and started to remove Naruto's belt. Suddenly Sasuke was there as well, running a hand through Naruto's hair. Sasuke dropped to his knees and unzipped Naruto's trousers. _

_"W...Wait a second guys…." _

_Both Sai's and Sasuke's shirts were somehow slightly unbuttoned, and Naruto could see the pale, smooth skin stretch taut over their collar bones and muscled chests. The familiar scent of Sasuke's cologne that Naruto remembered from the car suddenly made him feel a little light headed. _

_Sasuke smirked and stood up. He stood in front of him, staring deeply into his eyes._

_"Do you need a second to compose yourself, dumbass?"_

_The two men looked so similar. Both pale and dark-eyed. Well-built with striking facial features. The way they moved together, both focused on Naruto, touching him and removing his clothing was making Naruto feel increasingly heated. _

_Now it was Sai who dropped to his knees in front of Naruto, pulling Naruto's pants down, while Sasuke moved behind him and traced a finger over the contours of his back. _

"_Did you shave your legs for us this time, Naruto?" He could feel Sasuke's breath on his ear, and his body flushed a violent shade of red. Partly in embarrassment, but mostly from… arousal._

_"I…. I, uh…." Naruto licked his lips and tried to gather his increasingly scattered thoughts._

_Sai seemed to somehow fade into the background, and now it was only Sasuke who was with him as he stood in the now empty courtroom in nothing but his underwear, while Sasuke was still fully clothed in his suit and tie. _

_And unlike the last time they were in this situation, Naruto was not embarrassed. He vividly remembered the heat and forcefulness of Sasuke's mouth from the car, and he suddenly wanted to taste it again._

_Naruto slowly slid his hand up Sasuke's red silk tie, waiting to see if Sasuke would pull back. When he didn't, Naruto twisted his fingers into Sasuke's tie and used it like a leash to bring Sasuke's mouth down to his, pressing their lips together before sliding his tongue over Sasuke's lower lip._

_Instead of pulling away, Sasuke opened his mouth and slid a hand over Naruto's back, tracing along the base of his spine before dropping further to grip the curve of Naruto's ass. A second hand joined the first, and Naruto felt himself pulled flush against Sasuke's body. _

_Naruto was fully hard, and the exquisite friction of Sasuke's own erection against his made shudder before he released the tie and fisted his hands into Sasuke's hair, bringing their mouths even more forcefully together._

_Naruto registered hazily that he had never been this turned on in his life, and it was with not only a __**guy, **__but it was __**Sasuke.**__ The guy who had tortured him and infuriated him all through high school. But somehow, it felt completely natural. _

_Naruto wasn't exactly old-fashioned, but he had never had sex with someone he didn't care about. He was never attracted by looks alone. And Naruto knew that whatever he was feeling for Sasuke, it wasn't just physical._

_The attraction he was feeling for Sasuke was so overwhelming Naruto didn't even know how much longer he would be able to stand upright. Their past rivalry brought on a surge of emotions throughout the years. Everytime he battled against Sasuke, he was always left simmering with the intensity of their differences, their similarities, marking him to the depths of his core. Everytime Sasuke spoke, whether to simply comment on something or shut Naruto down in his usual condescending fashion, it would stir something within him. And he never understood why. All those times when he fought for Sasuke's attention, maybe __**this**__ was what he had really been wanting... but not known to ask for. _

_Had Sasuke wanted this, too?_

_Naruto's fingers drifted to the buttons on Sasuke's shirt experimentally, suddenly desperate to have Sasuke bare to his view. Sasuke drew back, and Naruto nearly stumbled forward at the loss of his touch._

"_Do you really want to do this with Sai instead of me, Naruto?" Sasuke asked huskily, his eyes dark with possessiveness and something unreadable._

_Naruto glanced at the audience, the stranger from the Ford, and back again. He seemed to radiate an ominous threat directed at Sasuke. Naruto's blue eyes were large and apprehensive,_

_"I… Sasuke, you… Sai is a cop and….You might be..."_

_"Answer my question Naruto. Do you want to be with me?"_

_That question rocked Naruto to his core. And caused a surge of emotion in him that almost overwhelmed him. _

_"Sasuke, I…." _

_"Officer Uzumaki, I order you to answer the Uchiha's question," Judge Tsunade banged her gavel again, but this time the banging didn't stop._

_"Uzumaki…! Uzumaki!"_

Naruto awoke with a start, hard, covered in sweat and shaking.

Someone was knocking on the door to their apartment. It was Kakashi, with coffee. Naruto had been tossing and turning all night from a combination of the anxiety he felt about whether he'd be able to lure the killer in and what would happen when he did. On top of that, he'd been having vivid dreams replaying his interaction with Sasuke the day before.

He supposed that explained the dream he had just before waking up.

"Rise and shine, Uzumaki. Ready to get to work?"

Naruto drew an unsteady breath. He'd sort out his feelings for Sasuke later. Today he would work with Sai, keep it professional, and hopefully catch a serial killer.

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_Seeya next time guys!_


	8. Chapter 8 - You Came Right On Time

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana own nothing, blah, blah, blah. You guys get the gist. And we will never own it, unfortunately, but we'll give you our sincerest apologies and ask if you would like a _salad _with that?

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes:** Get some tissues out, guys.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8 - You Came Right On Time<strong>

* * *

><p>Zabuza went to talk to Jiraiya and his girls, to see if anyone saw anything after they had left last night. Meanwhile, he told Naruto to go get hooked up with the wire for the day.<p>

Naruto walked into the bedroom of the flophouse, steeling himself for what was going to come. But he consoled himself that at least _this _time he would be prepared for what was going to happen. Now he knew the drill. Sai wasn't going to get to freak him out today, and despite the other's tendency to make him uncomfortable for kicks, he knew that Sai wouldn't do anything out there that would put him or the case at risk. Naruto knew Sai was at least with someone he could trust, even if Sai did get on his nerves. It didn't mean he looked forward to being in compromising positions with the guy, though.

Sai was seated on the dirty-looking bed, seemingly unconcerned with his own hygiene as he talked on the phone.

"Really?... OK…. And Kakashi actually agreed?... Hm….. Yes, he just walked in….. Ok, I'll be sure to tell him…. bye."

Sai closed his phone and looked at Naruto consideringly.

"What was it that Kakashi agreed to?" Naruto asked, not really sure what to make of Sai's blank look.

"Just that today's scene with your 'regular john' will be very..._realistic_. Sasuke agreed to help us out and is letting us use his car. Kakashi wanted me to prepare you so that you wouldn't be shocked with anything that happens out there today," Sai said somewhat cryptically.

Naruto thought there was something off in Sai's voice, but he couldn't tell if it was just his imagination, seeing as it was the same monotone he always listened to. Naruto nodded, though somewhat warily as Sai shifted in the bed. He was glad Sasuke had agreed to let them use his car. It would make things easier.

"So, you learned yesterday that you can never predict who will be in a car that stops. Today, no matter who opens their door, you need to stay in character. Think you can manage that, Naruto?" Sai asked.

"Yesterday was… a freak accident," Naruto muttered, recalling the events from before with a hint of embarrassment in his voice at what had transpired in that vehicle. "I won't be caught off guard."

"Well, today you need to be prepared for whoever stops to check you out. We need to work on your reactions when someone does. You've never had sex with another male and it shows, dickless. You need to not look like you're freaking out when someone touches you. We don't know if yesterday's peeping tom was the killer, but we do know that he stalks his victims. Just because we don't see him doesn't mean he isn't watching. If he guesses you're a cop, he's more likely to try to kill you without you getting a chance to catch him. He's done it before."

"So what you're saying is I need to work on my acting a little more… I need to be more believable, is that it?" Naruto didn't particularly like the idea of doing more embarrassing things to appear authentic, but he knew that Sai had a point. He couldn't risk messing this up.

"I think the best way is to give you some 'hands-on' experience," Sai said, his fake smile stretching across his face, and a definite evil glint appearing in his dark eyes. "Right now I want you to treat me like I'm your long-time john, the one in Sasuke's car. Remember we agreed yesterday I would be taking his place. Show me how you'd greet me and what you'd do. And try to make it natural. Or at least slightly believable."

"What?" Naruto said sharply.

"You heard me, Naruto," Sai said, appearing totally casual.

Naruto stared at Sai long and hard, his face a mixture of apprehension and rising awareness as he walked towards the bed and stopped in front of it.

"You're kidding. So I just… peck you on the lips or something?" Naruto said lowly, not at all happy about where this was going. Fidgeting where he stood, he held his arm close to his chest, already uncomfortable. "Then we can get in Sasuke's car and… And I'll put my hand in your lap and move it up and down to make it look like… you know."

"No one pays fifty bucks for a peck on the lips and a hand job. Not even losers like that guy from the Rec Center. You need to put your body into this, Naruto. Lean against me, become comfortable with me, use your tongue," Sai leaned back against the headboard, opening his legs slightly so Naruto would be able to fit between them. He put his hands behind his head, tilting his head back slightly, then crooked his finger telling Naruto to come. "And don't look so nervous. We're practicing, and you're supposed to be a whore who's fucked dozens if not hundreds of guys, remember? Giving a blow job is like a handshake to you. Don't act like a virgin, dickless."

Naruto remained where he stood for a minute, hesitant. But when he finally moved over to the bed, Sai hooked his ankle behind one of Naruto's knees, urging him closer. He looked up at Naruto when the officer remained stagnant, then arched an eyebrow, clearly reminding Naruto of what he'd just told him.

Naruto inhaled sharply and urged himself forward. He leaned in, sliding his body closer so their faces were inches apart, his hands resting on Sai's thighs. Trying to concentrate on the point of this exercise, which was to make himself more believable, he repeatedly told himself that this was for the sake of those victims. The killer was out there, and if Naruto needed to do this to help bring them even a step closer to catching him, then he would put away his pride and his emotions. For now. And he would focus on being the tramp he apparently needed to be.

Naruto shakily exhaled, his eyes fixed on the gross sheets Zabuza got them from a dollar store nearby.

"Look at me like you want me, Naruto. Not like I'm a homework assignment," Sai reminded him, shifting closer so their chests almost brushed.

Naruto reluctantly pried his gaze away from the bedspread. Fine. He didn't need to overthink this. Naruto had plenty of experience kissing. And he was no virgin. He'd just never done it with a guy, but who cares? Yesterday's experience with Sasuke had more than convinced him that kissing a guy..._among other things, _could be just as hot. Actually, kissing Sasuke had been way hotter than kissing a girl. Plus, he knew his own personal enjoyment was irrelevant. After what he'd witnessed yesterday, he was pretty sure hookers didn't feel any kind of attraction to their customers, regardless of gender.

With that in mind, he leaned in and crushed his lips to Sai's. Sai responded almost immediately, running his fingers over Naruto's biceps before smoothing his palms over Naruto's ass. He squeezed it, and Naruto brows knitted together as he focused on matching the other's movements. Sai then ran a hand through his hair and jerked his head back. Naruto closed his eyes to keep from glaring at him.

As Sai's lips passed over Naruto's neck, nipping here and there, Naruto was somewhat surprised to realize he felt… nothing. At all.

Yesterday, when Sasuke had kissed him, Naruto had thought he was about to spontaneously combust in the front seat of Sasuke's Lincoln. But with Sai it was just… nothing. Naruto relaxed, then pulled away.

Sai was looking at him questioningly.

"Good enough? Look, this is no big deal. We just need to kiss in the car, touch a little, lean against each other. Whatever," Naruto said and shrugged. Now that he knew he would only react in that out-of-control way with Sasuke, he was much less nervous about having to fake it with Sai or anyone else.

Sai gave him another of his fake smiles, though there was a slight hint of disappointment there, then got down to business of attaching the wire to Naruto's clothing so he would be ready for whatever happened today.

* * *

><p>Naruto talked to the other prostitutes working their corner, trying to act relaxed while he listened to them gossip and asked if they'd heard or seen anything strange. Well, stranger than usual.<p>

He had to admit that the skirt he had worn yesterday was more comfortable than the black leather shorts he found himself squeezed into today. At least the other outfit gave his balls some room to breathe. Right now, he was sad to say his nuts were crammed tightly inside the confines of the suffocating material, and if he spoke he'd be singing soprano. He tried not to let the unholy discomfort show on his face.

At least the shorts had pockets, though, which meant that the tracking device was placed without violation of his personal space this time. Which had left Sai pretty bummed this morning, much to Naruto's amusement. Naruto scanned the area, leaning back against a corroded brick wall, shifting his weight off his right foot which was already beginning to blister in the studded black leather heels.

He had been standing there for an hour, already comfortable screening the cars that were trolling that evening when a car full of drunk teenagers drove by. "Hey, cocksuckers! Give me a freebie on my birthday next weekend, cock-whore!"

Naruto clenched his fists. There _was_ something he was itching to give that kid, and that was a one way ticket to the precinct for the illegal consumption of alcohol and being a general fuckhead. And if the situation wasn't already obnoxious - with the derogatory slurs and disgusting hand gestures - the fifteen year old in the passenger's seat, (just hit puberty by the looks of it with the zillions of pimples on his face) had his bare ass pressed against the window to moon everyone.

Naruto was _seriously _being tested. He hoped that some other cop would catch these guys in the act and give 'em what for, but just in case that didn't happen he make sure to memorize the license plate and each and every detail of the delinquents faces. When all this was over they better hope they didn't cross paths with him again.

"Stupid fuckin' kids. The Lord doesn't have a place for cocky shits like them. The only thing he's getting on his birthday is a ticket to hell." A man Naruto had noticed earlier wearing a courier uniform and carrying a large package paused, looking at Naruto. He had stopped midway down the block looking at addresses, then came closer as the kids drove off.

"Hey, can you help me? I have to deliver this fucking thing to 57 South Main St," the guy said, his cap pulled low over his eyes. Naruto was surprised that this man was being so nice. In his experience, the super-religious ones were not generally friendly to men in skirts. Or hot pants, as the case might be.

"This isn't South Main St. It's Main St. _South_ Main St is on the other side of town. Sorry, man." Naruto said, and the guy just smiled easily.

"Fucking shit. Heh, that asshole dispatcher sent me to the wrong fuckin' place. Now I've gotta waste my fucking gas driving back through traffic."

Naruto made a sympathetic noise, somewhat amused by the man's excessively foul mouth. It was a breath of fresh air, honestly, that he was having a conversation that didn't revolve around how much he was worth or how little of a gag reflex he had. But somehow Naruto was slightly disconcerted that he still hadn't been able to see the man's eyes. But the man was already headed back to his delivery truck, pulling away without a backward glance.

Naruto looked around and wondered what time Sai was supposed to show up. Sasuke had been by around this time yesterday.

As if on cue, a familiar black Lincoln turned onto the block.

Naruto sharply exhaled, feeling a twisting sensation in his gut at the sight of Sasuke's car. But Naruto tried to ignore the memories flooding in from yesterday's rendezvous with his classmate, focusing on the task at hand. He reminded himself that it wasn't Sasuke inside the Lincoln… it was Sai. Though Naruto wasn't sure if that made things better or worse.

Watching the vehicle come closer Naruto fixed his earring, inconspicuously whispering into it, "Kiba, if you say one word about this shit I'll tell the Chief about what he missed at the New Year's party last year," Naruto murmured into his wire, already bracing himself for his 'performance' with Sai. "It was pretty eventful after all."

_"You wouldn't fucking dare, man!" _Kiba shouted into his ear, panicked. _"I was drunk, alright? I didn't want to bring Akamaru to the precinct, and I didn't know he was going to get loose and piss all over the Chief's rug. I took him to the vet recently and they think he has bladder problems but - that isn't the point! That would be a dick move Naruto. Has dressing up like a girls made you PMS like one?"_

Naruto had only been joking, but he grinned at the knowledge that his dumbass friend had obviously forgotten that he was being recorded, unknowingly condemning himself.

Sasuke's car pulled up and Naruto approached, walking slowly and arching his back like Haku had told him to do. He pulled open the door, sending one quick glance up and down the street, already dreading what the next twenty minutes were likely to entail. "If you put your hands in my shorts I will rip them off your fucking wrists, Sai," Naruto said as he got in. "Sorry but the crap that happened in the men's bathroom isn't gonna fly here, so-"

"What the hell did Sai do to you in the men's room?"

This was already the second time in under forty-eight hours that Sasuke effectively made him choke on his spit. Naruto stared, slack jawed for a good thirty seconds, wondering if he was hallucinating or something from walking around so much.

"Uh… wha-... " Naruto kicked himself for stammering. Again. "Kiba, what the FUCK is going on. SASUKE is in Sasuke's car. I thought we agreed not to get civilians killed with this shit?"

"Naruto," a deep baritone, contrasting visibly with Kiba's came through the earpiece. _Itachi? What the hell was going on? _"Sasuke decided he wasn't comfortable letting someone else touch his things. He's very possessive. The car is new. And there were other things he wasn't keen on sharing as well."

Naruto found his eyes trapped by Sasuke's. "Unless you would have preferred Sai, dumbass?"

"Wait a second..!" Naruto held up his hands as if in mock surrender, wondering just how the hell this happened and not at all sure he liked the implication of what Itachi said about Sasuke being possessive of other "things". But before he could even begin to get angry about that, another thought struck him. Sasuke must be wearing an earpiece, too, if he was able to hear what Itachi said just now. Which meant…

"Sai, you fucking asshole! You _knew _that Sasuke was going to be the one in the car! All that shit you pulled this morning about needing to practice letting guys other than Sasuke touch me was just to get in my pants! I'm going to _kill_ you when we are done here."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and a lethal aura poured off him. "Sai did _what_ now_?_" Sasuke growled.

"_Don't act like you didn't enjoy it, Dickless. You needed to practice anyways. Your dick may be above average, but your kissing leaves room for improvement."_

"The kissing requires chemistry, Sai. And the two of you have none. Naruto doesn't need your help to practice at anything. That's my role, remember?" Sasuke bit out. "Keep your hands off."

Naruto's face promptly flushed from Sasuke's statement, because even though it was referring simply to their roles in this case, after their meet up last time the statement carried more weight. Sasuke was attracted to him (at least, when Naruto was wearing a skirt), and Naruto's also definitely had felt attraction, but it was still weird hearing it laid out like that. Naruto suddenly felt even more embarrassed, because he didn't give the bastard permission to stake a claim on him. But it also… sort of turned him on to hear Sasuke assert it almost as much as it pissed him off.

Sasuke's eyes were still locked on Naruto's when he was talking with Sai. He saw Naruto's flush, guessing correctly it was part embarrassment, and part anger. But there was another emotion that was lurking in those blue eyes that pulled at Sasuke. He reached his hand and tangled his fingers into Naruto's blond hair, then abruptly tightened his fingers, eliciting a small gasp from the blond.

"What the hell, Sasuke?!" Naruto's voice was slightly breathy, even though he tried to sound angry.

Sasuke smirked, slowly pulling Naruto's head down towards his lap. "I believe you informed me last time of what this is supposed to look like from the outside. I'm just helping you get into character." Sasuke pulled Naruto only halfway down, wanting to see what he would do. His gaze ran along the line of Naruto's torso and curved ass, clearly defined by the black leather he was wearing. There was no _fucking way_ he was going to let Sai take his place.

Naruto was again in the same position as he had been only twenty-four hours ago: his face in front of Sasuke Uchiha's cock.

He felt his fists clench in frustration. After the dream he'd had the night before, he had to face the facts that he was more than just a little bit attracted to Sasuke. With Sai, there had been nothing. But with Sasuke… of course Naruto knew that Sasuke was probably only reacting this way because Naruto was dressed like a girl. Though what was Naruto's excuse?

He didn't have one.

Unable to deal with his twisted up emotions, Naruto shoved back from Sasuke, his eyes flashing with anger. "You're being a stubborn jackass. Just because you don't want someone to touch your fucking car, you're jumping in like you're still in high school and perfect at _everything_. You fucking _asshole_ don't you realize how dangerous this is? I know you like to humiliate me, but this is not the time or the place Sasuke. Just… just stay away until this is over."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, about to say something when Itachi jumped in for him.

_"Naruto, Sasuke is not doing this out of spite. Sai might be trained, but the danger is still the same for you whether you are with Sasuke or Sai in the car, since you will be approached when you are alone, anyway. There is an equal chance that things can go wrong. Truth be told, you are a lot safer with my brother's involvement, due to the sole fact that I am now aiding your investigation, Officer Uzumaki."_

"The danger might be the same for me, but is a hell of a lot more for Sasuke," Naruto bit out.

Sasuke couldn't help the small smirk that Naruto's words created. Naruto was angry because he was worried. About him.

"_Okay, boys_," surprisingly it was Kakashi's voice that came through Naruto's earpiece, and from the other end he could hear Kiba make a strangled noise. "_There is too much talking going on in that car. We have our 'Mr. Peepers' in view. He's looking for a show. Naruto, Zabuza is circling around him, and he's going to send a picture to Haku as soon as he gets a clean angle with enough of the guy's face for Haku to make a positive ID. We need at least five minutes of him fully distracted so he doesn't spot Zabuza and run. Make it look good… and Inuzuka, we'll talk about that lovely incident later."_

"We will," Naruto answered, trying to hold back a snort at the groan following Kakashi's statement. His eyes trained and focused ahead of him. Naruto turned to Sasuke, watching his expression to see if he understood the instructions. He became even more nervous when Sasuke took his hands off the steering wheel and faced him.

Sasuke leaned over Naruto, smirking when the blond officer flushed and tensed. But his hand didn't land on Naruto, but reached to the far side of the passenger seat. The seat beneath Naruto began to slowly recline back.

Sasuke put his hand on Naruto's chest, forcing him to lay back with the seat. When Naruto was fully reclined, Sasuke leaned over slightly, his face conveying nothing but confusion with a hint of amusement.

"Waiting for something?" Sasuke asked. "I thought you were supposed to be the professional here."

Naruto immediately felt his nerves extinguish, replaced with annoyance at the patronizing tone. Grabbing Sasuke by the tie - recollecting the dream he had - he jerked him forward so Sasuke fell on top of his scantily clad body with a thud. Sasuke's chest rested against his own, Naruto's heart pounded in his ears. His fist still clenched the article of clothing… and when he noticed how close Sasuke's face was to his, their foreheads pressed together, the irritation he was feeling earlier slipped away. And Naruto felt nervous all over again.

Naruto's body tingled, noticing neither one of them made a sound.

He awkwardly cleared his throat, slowly letting go of the tie.

"This should be fine… I think."

Sasuke looked at Naruto's face, registering his awkward movements and nervous expression. "Look, Naruto…" He sighed, "If you don't want to do this with me, I can switch with Sai. I shouldn't have insisted if you were this uncomfortable."

"No," Naruto answered, instantly feeling sick at the idea of having Sai's body over him instead of Sasuke's. Naruto looked at Sasuke, reading all the uncertainty and what appeared to be guilt there. This wasn't going to work. He knew that even if Sasuke could be a bastard, he wasn't going to do anything if he felt like Naruto was uncomfortable, and they needed to make this authentic. That thought gave Naruto the courage to grab Sasuke's shoulders and reverse their positions, so now it was Naruto who was on top.

Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise as Naruto slowly slid down Sasuke's torso until his face was hovering above Sasuke's lap, and he was kneeling between Sasuke's feet. Naruto let out a strangled breath as his fingers lightly brushed across the front of Sasuke's trousers.

Sasuke sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Idiot, what are you -"

He arched his head back as Naruto flattened his hand so that instead of his fingertips brushing against Sasuke's length, it was now the palm of his hand. Naruto experimentally slid his hand back and forth against the fabric, earning himself a low groan from Sasuke whose head was lolled back, chest heaving with every timid touch.

"I thought… I thought we were just going to _pretend,_" Sasuke hissed between clenched teeth.

"We… We really can't," Naruto swallowed, finding it hard to explain when he was feeling this _hot. _"...Ah, look...That guy, the one in the Ford? He's using a telephoto lens….Which means…." Naruto paused, his fingers dipping under the waistband of Sasuke's briefs to feel the taut, smooth skin that lay beneath it. "...It means that he can pretty much see everything that is happening...uh, w-we have to make this believable so….Sasuke, if this is uncomfortable for you just tell me and maybe then, Sai can switch with you…or something..." Though the idea of doing this with Sai made him feel nauseous. Not to mention that - at this point - it would be almost impossible to switch with the guy watching. But he felt like he had to make the offer… when all it really felt like was an excuse.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, unsure whether he wanted to kill Kakashi for not telling him exactly what this was going to entail, or kill Sai for 'volunteering' to do this with Naruto. "It's fine," Sasuke said curtly, trying to compose himself. "I'll just look like I'm enjoying it and you can just pretend to do what you're doing. But the pants stay _on_."

"Right…" Naruto answered a tad breathlessly.

Sasuke put his hand in Naruto's hair like last time, trying to remember that there were people both listening to and watching them together. He didn't even want to think about the sheer volume of leverage that Itachi was going to get out of this. He was thankful for the heavy tinting of his car windows, so at least it wouldn't be completely obvious what was happening.

Naruto's hand palmed him again, and despite his best efforts Sasuke felt his dick begin to harden. "Sorry," he grated, earning a shocked look from Naruto.

Naruto's thighs subconsciously squeezed together at the sight of Sasuke's prominent bulge, spurring a similar problem between his legs as well. Damn, this was... really turning him on. He swallowed again, noting that Sasuke's erection grew further when he smoothed his hand over it. Oddly fueled by the reaction, he closed his fingers fully around Sasuke's clothed erection, and slowly pumped his hand up and down the shaft.

Sasuke gripped the armrests of his seat, forcing his hips to not thrust up into the tan hand. He emitted a low sound, which he immediately cut off when he remembered where they were. Goddamn Kakashi to hell for getting him into this. Naruto was practically giving him a hand job through his trousers while four people listened in on it. Including his sadistic sibling.

He must have tried to kill his brother and best friend in a past life to deserve this torture.

Sasuke tried to school his reactions, telling himself that Naruto was just going through the motions, and would probably be freaked out by his response. But when he glanced down at Naruto's face, he was surprised to see the blue eyes darkened with what would only be arousal, his eyes heavy-lidded as he looked back up at Sasuke, sliding his index finger along the side of his length and back again. Sasuke felt heat pool further into his groin as Naruto's eyes widened slightly, his cock hardening to full length and straining against the zipper on his dress pants.

Not that Naruto really thought much about a guy's size but… Naruto was a little stunned, is all. Touching a dick that wasn't his own never crossed his mind before this. If someone even suggested the idea in the past, he would have probably kicked their ass. And if that same person had told him if he would be doing this to Sasuke, of all people...Naruto was certain he would have said they were crazy. But here he was, flat out giving Sasuke a hand job in his car and he wasn't even disgusted by it.

In fact… Naruto felt a sudden urge to free Sasuke's erection from his pants and do this for real. Seeing Sasuke's face like this was...Well, it was honestly the hottest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"Naruto," Sasuke said, feeling the heat of Naruto's skin against his most sensitive flesh. "You can just…" Sasuke wasn't sure what instructions he could give, but if Naruto kept touching his shaft, he was going to embarrass himself. Naruto bit his lip, apprehensively giving the base a squeeze, and Sasuke had enough. He reached down and entangled his hand lightly in blonde tufts of hair, drawing the office up from the floor and dragging Naruto's body along his own.

He had thought that the relief of not having Naruto's hand on his cock would allow him to calm down, but the feel of Naruto's hard body sliding over his was almost worse.

And that was when it hit him.

Naruto was _hard, _and not just his muscles.

Surprised onyx eyes snapped up to meet wide blue ones.

Awareness flowed between them.

"Naruto," Sasuke said, his voice low. Unable to help himself, he slid his hands down Naruto's back to grip the black leather-clad hips and arched his pelvis up, pressing their erections together. He groaned slightly, but was mollified by a deeper groan let out by the blond undercover officer as Naruto returned the gesture, rocking slowly against him.

"..Ah...Sa...Sasuke…"

There was no mistaking the lust in Naruto's voice.

Naruto bent his head and gave a low moan, all inhibitions and worries lost, and Sasuke's mind completely went blank. Naruto was morethan just willing. Naruto… wanted him. And all Sasuke could think of was Naruto's heat, and _Naruto,_ and how he was kissing him, and _Naruto_, and their hips were moving against each other in an increasing rhythm, and _oh god he had wanted this for years_.

Naruto slid his hands down Sasuke's waist and Sasuke arched up, his hands biting into Naruto's hips as he felt his whole body clench.

"Naruto..._Fuck…"_

Naruto let out a guttural noise from his throat as he impulsively swallowed the cry with his mouth, his lips moving feverishly against Sasuke's own.

When Sasuke's hips were slowly moving to a stop, Naruto's eyes were drawn to the twisted look of pleasure on Sasuke's face as his head was thrown back, his mouth torturously closed, brows drawn, and his eyes glazed. _He_ had done this to Sasuke. Naruto felt a possessiveness surge through him at the sight and something inside him slid into place and _clicked_. Naruto blinked down at him, startled back to the present when he heard someone on the end of his earpiece start to speak.

"_Guys...you have to pretend make it last longer than that. No one cums that fast. But you can stop now anyway. Zabuza got the picture. We're waiting to get word from Haku as to whether this is our guy," _Sai's voice came through, and Naruto took a minute to let the small high he felt subside.

Sasuke just lay there, stunned, positively mortified, his heart still racing. Had that really just happened? He couldn't believe he just came in his pants after a few minutes of grinding into someone. He pressed a hand to his head, thinking this was unbelievable. _Ridiculous_. So much for showing off his stamina; he had grossly underestimated the effect Naruto would have on him. _Embarrassing. _He half expected Naruto to immediately push back or laugh, but instead the blond smoothed a hand through Sasuke's hair in a gentle caress. Without thinking, Sasuke turned his head into the palm of Naruto's hand.

He could still feel Naruto's erection pressed against him, though both their bodies were beginning to cool.

"You ok?" Naruto asked softly.

Sasuke snorted, half-glaring back at him. "I'm not a girl. I'm fine." Though honestly he had no idea what he was going to do now. Not if this all turned out to mean nothing to Naruto but some task that he'd had to complete in pursuit of his quarry.

Instead of the usual anger at Sasuke's rude words, amusement colored the blue eyes looking down at him. "Seems like you were more than 'fine' a few seconds ago," Naruto whispered directly into Sasuke's ear, low enough that even Naruto's wire wouldn't pick it up.

"_Haku says this isn't the guy. Just some creepy peeping Tom. Sai's going to pick him up when he's out of the area, and take his camera. False alarm, guys."_

Sasuke looked directly at Naruto. And felt the tightness in his chest ease fractionally at what he saw. He knew they couldn't discuss it now, but Naruto was in no way attempting to deny what had just happened between them or look away in embarrassment. Naruto's honest blue gaze was fixed on him, with concern and… affection.

Sasuke felt a small flicker of hope that maybe… maybe something between them wasn't as impossible as he had always thought.

Naruto slowly leaned down and brushed his lips gently against Sasuke's.

"You didn't need to do that. Sai just said it was a false alarm," Sasuke said, feeling slightly disoriented.

"I know," Naruto said, smirking. He straightened his clothes and stepped out of Sasuke's car. Sasuke lay in the reclined seat for a few minutes, thinking about what just happened and what it likely all meant.

Slowly, he smiled.

He righted the seat, ignoring the stickiness in his trousers, and started the engine of his car.

Maybe he wasn't so mad at Kakashi after all.

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_Get some tissues out for Sasuke, I mean. Since he's kind of a mess and those are four hundred dollar dress pants._

_Till next time!_


	9. Chapter 9 - Pay it or Say it

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana again, don't own anything. But if we did it would apparently end up like this or at least when it comes to anything explicit involving these two.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **This chapter is huge, so we had to split it into two, but it's definitely my favorite for reasons that we'll reveal to you later. Eh-heh.

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><p><strong>Chapter 9 - Pay it Or Say it<strong>

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><p>Sasuke was told he was allowed back at his own apartment since they had confirmed that the man with the camera wasn't a real threat to him or his reputation.<p>

He stood in his shower, letting the streams of hot water cascade over him. All evidence of what had happened in the front seat of his car that day was washed from his body… with the exclusion of his memories. Just remembering the feel of Naruto's leather-clad body writhing over his had him achingly hard again.

"_Fuck_," Sasuke hissed, grabbing the shower gel and lathering it between his hands. He reached down, slowly pumping his cock as he remembered Naruto's hand doing the same thing through his now-ruined dress pants, his fantasy quickly morphing to Naruto actually being there in the shower with him, pressed against the wall. Saying his name. Sasuke's hips pumped urgently into his hand, and within minutes he was cumming hard against the stone tiles of his shower wall. He groaned at his own lack of composure, sneering at how uncharacteristic this was for him. Sasuke Uchiha, renown for having seemingly infinite self-control and composure, unable to hold it together for even five minutes when faced with the reality of one Naruto Uzumaki.

When the time came for the real thing, Sasuke prayed that he would acquit himself better than he was right now. Stamina had never been a problem for him, but then again, he'd never had the object of his obsession come onto him before. The closest body part Naruto had ever indulged in touching him with in the past, had either been a fist to the face or a knee to the thigh. But now…today… the images played through Sasuke's mind as though on queue.

The memory of how Naruto's voice had sounded, low and full of lust, resonated within him. _"Sa...Sasuke…" _

Sasuke exhaled, running a hand through his hair as he felt his cock twitch back to life yet again. Annoyed with his complete lack of control, he simply turned the water to freezing to stave off the need and decided it was high time he started applying some of that Uchiha self-control that everyone talked about.

The same self-control that kept him from cursing when he walked out of his bathroom to find Itachi seated in the leather chair in his bedroom, reading the newspaper.

One look at the godless humor emanating from Itachi's eyes extinguished any hope Sasuke had that his brother didn't know _exactly _what had happened in that car.

"Sasuke," Itachi said, a small lift at the corner of his lips breaking through his usually impassive facade. "I never knew my little brother possessed such phenomenal acting skills. If Sai hadn't assured me that _no one _came that fast, I might be worried that you would tarnish the Uchiha name with a… _substandard_ performance. I would hate to have to step in and rectify it for you."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes dangerously. The mirth shining in Itachi's eyes was the only thing that helped him keep control. Itachi was obviously teasing him, but the just the idea of Itachi making a move on Naruto had Sasuke gritting his teeth in anger

At the gesture, Itachi actually laughed, a sound Sasuke had heard only a handful of times in his life, and never failed to send bolts of terror down his spine.

"You are so cute when you are frustrated and in love, Sasuke," Itachi said, standing. "And despite what you might think, I am not here to torture you over your little performance today. And I use the word 'little' intentionally" Itachi said, thoroughly enjoying seeing Sasuke flush. "That is merely a side benefit."

"Then why are you here, Itachi?" Sasuke gritted out, clearly irritated.

"Kakashi told me to inform you that - given that the man with the camera was not the serial killer - they will no longer need you to make regular visits to Naruto."

Sasuke's stomach clenched. The more he had learned about the case that Naruto was on, the more concerned for his safety Sasuke had become. He had at least thought that he would have daily contact with Naruto so he could assure himself that the idiot was ok. Now it appeared that that was going to be ending. More than the fact that he wouldn't be 'forced' to role play with Naruto, he was bothered that now he would have to wait to hear how Naruto was doing rather than being able to see for himself. As amazing as it was to have Naruto touching him like that in his car, the fact that their taped sessions could end up getting played in court was definitely an uncomfortable idea.

But if he were no longer involved, then Itachi wouldn't likely be either. Sasuke had little faith in Kiba's or - god forbid - Sai's ability to help Naruto if things went wrong the next time another unforeseen circumstance occurred.

As if reading his mind - an ability that Sasuke often secretly suspected his brother of having - Itachi continued.

"Given that our family appears to have a… vested interest in this particular case, I offered to continue to be involved. Kakashi said that he will keep me informed, and if anything suspicious is observed, he will call me in."

Sasuke eyed him warily him in surprise.

"I see…" He said, that weight from before lightening considerably. Itachi simply smiled, this one genuine and lacking any sinister edge. Sasuke exhaled softly. "Thank you…" He murmured, knowing Itachi was only doing this to appease him.

"But until then, Sasuke... we are ordered to stay clear of the operation and have no further contact with Naruto."

Sasuke's jaw tensed.

After everything that had happened today, he had at least wanted to talk to Naruto. Sasuke had no idea what was going through Naruto's head right now, though he hadn't seemed particularly upset about what transpired.

As far as Sasuke was aware, Naruto had never had any sort of sexual interaction with another man. And while he knew Naruto was open minded, sometimes to dangerous extents, he had seen the confusion on Naruto's face as things had escalated rapidly in the car and knew that he was likely still struggling to understand his own preferences. Whether the whole exchange was just part of the operation in his mind, or something more… something that might lead to other interactions that weren't being videotaped by the vice and homicide squads, only talking to Naruto would tell.

"I want to see him tonight," Sasuke said. "I'll leave him alone after that."

Itachi stood, his car keys already in his hand. "I had a feeling you'd feel that way. Zabuza agreed that the risk was minimal, given that you have already been seen to interact with Naruto on a 'professional' level. I can take you over to Naruto's apartment tonight. The two of you can sort through what you need to...but then you'll have to stay away until this is over and they've captured the serial killer. You're a distraction for him right now, Sasuke, and you know he can't afford it."

Sasuke said nothing but nodded curtly and pulled out some clean clothes to wear.

He wondered how much warning (if any) Naruto would have before the killer would make his move. Sasuke would have felt much better if Itachi had been added permanently to the back-up team, but at least there would be regular updates. He supposed it was all he could really expect. He just hoped it was enough.

* * *

><p>Naruto stood in the tiny shower stall of his dingy apartment, letting the hot water wash over his sore muscles to relieve some of the day's stress. They were back to square one in terms of finding the killer now that Haku had confirmed that the man with the camera was not the one who attacked him. Normally, Naruto would have been incredibly frustrated by something like that. And to a certain extent he was. But what occupied every square inch of his mind right now was what had happened with Sasuke… for the <em>second <em>time.

He leaned his back against the wall, massaging first one abused foot - which was literally covered in blisters and bruises - then the other. When his feet felt semi-functional, he turned his attention to the muscles around the mostly healed bullet wound on his upper thigh. Naruto let his head fall back against the tiles, trying to make sense of his own feelings. And his growing insecurities about Sasuke's feelings.

He supposed that Sasuke was probably just as shocked and confused at what had happened between them as he was. Sasuke had certainly seemed to be shaken before he'd left. It was unusual to see the bastard showing anything other than complete confidence and superiority. But Sasuke had seemed definitely... worked up in more ways than one.

Guilt surged through Naruto's stomach at the thought of what Sasuke had been forced to do. Naruto was a cop. He had signed up for this to a certain extent. Sasuke had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and look what he'd been dragged into.

The only thing that had Naruto feeling slightly hopeful was that Sasuke hadn't seemed to mind it so much when it all was happening. Despite the fact that - as far as Naruto could remember - Sasuke _hated_ pretty much any form of physical contact.

If looks could kill, just about every girl in their high school class would have been dead for all the times they tried to lay hands on any part of Sasuke's person. So what _did_ Sasuke feel? Was it anything other than a natural response to anyone being in that position? Or was it simply because Naruto _apparently _looked good in women's lingerie, and Sasuke just got horny and needed a quick fix from someone who looked close enough to a girl to make do?

Naruto flinched at the thought. Somehow he knew that if it were _only _that, Sasuke would have just lent the car (or not) and gone about his own business with someone with a little less… _baggage._ So was Sasuke even gay? Naruto had no idea since he had never seen Sasuke show any interest in anyone sexually, despite their classmate's best efforts at relentlessly trying to get into his pants.

Naruto was pretty sure that Sasuke would never have taken the trouble to insert himself into a police investigation for something like a simple hook up. God knows that if Sasuke wanted a warm body near or on his dick, he could have more than half the entire city lining up at his bedroom door. No. This had to be more than that...right? Naruto wasn't sure where his logic left off and wishful thinking took over. But he knew he _wanted_ it to mean more than that to Sasuke. Unfortunately, wanting it didn't make it true.

_Damnit_. Naruto dragged a hand through his wet hair, finding he was quickly growing frustrated with his own thoughts. He couldn't believe he was mulling over his desire for a potential relationship with _Sasuke _of all people_._ Who was not only a dude, but someone he _thought _he hated for a _very _long time. On top of which, Sasuke was _also_ probably one of the most emotionally unavailable people on the planet.

Yeesh, what a messy situation this was turning out to be.

A week ago, Naruto was dead sure he was attracted only to girls and loathed Sasuke Uchiha like he loathed menma in his ramen, but both of those things now appeared to be wrong.

He tried to warn himself that there was a chance Sasuke simply enjoyed seeing Naruto in the embarrassing position of being dressed in drag... that Sasuke was just playing around with him, taking advantage of the situation just so he could taunt him with it later. Under most conditions, Naruto wouldn't put it past the guy. He could recall several times on hand where the asshole had let things go too far just to get a rise out of him. Yet somehow… this didn't feel like Sasuke's usual ploys.

Honestly, he didn't think Sasuke would sink this low. Maybe he was being too optimistic, but Sasuke had seemed almost… _vulnerable._ Which was a really weird thought for Naruto to process, considering the bastard was usually about as emotional as a slab of granite. The guy was known for remaining totally stone-faced and cocky under pretty much _any _circumstance. Which made Sasuke's reaction in the car even more surprising. There really had been something about the look in Sasuke's eyes that came off as genuine. He just wasn't sure what to call it.

Did Sasuke feel...any kind of way for him? What if Sasuke only liked Naruto… when Naruto dressed like a _girl_?

The idea already made him feel queasy. It wasn't like Naruto couldn't be down for some role-playing. Hell, he had definitely enjoyed playing Han Solo to his last girlfriend's Princess Leia. And there was that weird phase where he spent two years dressing up as a variation of ninja every Halloween until Kiba convinced him to stop, saying that the Village in the Leaves was a stupid name for a clan. But this was… different. _Really different_. This kind of dressing up involved him, a grown man, stuffing his prized jewels in a pair of laced undies. Taking on a sexual identity that really wasn't his own.

And how far was Naruto willing to go anyway? What the hell did he want? To be Sasuke's… _boyfriend? _Just the _word _was hard to get used to. Or did Naruto just want to experiment a bit and see what this insane attraction really was? That really didn't feel right, either. Naruto groaned. He _wouldn't _use Sasuke like that, regardless if he was bi-curious or if this was some sort of messed up mid-life crisis. Though he was a little young for one of those.

Naruto sighed as he realized the water had gone cold.

He turned it off, stepping out onto the ratty bathmat. He dried first his body then his hair with a small towel that surprisingly wasn't full of holes. He really missed his oversized, orange fluffy towel from his apartment. Naruto would never again feel bad about the fact that his place was maybe a bit small and his sofa was a little worn. Compared to where he was staying now, it was the freaking Ritz-Carlton.

He let the damp towel rest on his head. Naruto was looking forward to eating real food for once. Haku had said he would drop by after his shift and bring them a home cooked meal, and he looked forward to eating something warm as opposed to the soggy ramen cups and the cans of generic tuna. Naruto pulled on a pair of black sweatpants and stepped out of the bathroom to see if Haku had arrived yet, but to his surprise Haku hadn't.

Sasuke had.

Standing there completely frozen, Sasuke watched a stray droplet of water slide down Naruto's toned chest, before quickly breaking the spell and meeting Naruto's eyes. Sasuke's lips parted slightly, but no sound came out.

Naruto felt equally inarticulate as memories from earlier that evening crashed through him.

_Where were Zabuza and Haku? Who had let Sasuke in? Was him being here even a good idea?_

Naruto took a step back, the towel on his head dropping to the floor.

"What… are you doing here?" Naruto questioned carefully. His eyes glanced at the locked doorway and back again, noticing no one had come in with him. Thankfully. "Who let you in? You're _not _supposed to be here, Sasuke."

"Zabuza let me in," Sasuke said distractedly, his dark eyes drifting from Naruto's anxious blue orbs to the bead of moisture snaking it's way down his naval. Collecting himself, Sasuke swallowed again, refocusing on Naruto's concerned face. "He just stepped out. Told me to wait while you were in the shower."

"You still didn't answer my question. Why the hell are you here? This isn't a good idea, Sasuke," Naruto said seriously, "You could be followed or worse, _killed _if I am seriously being watched by our target. Do you know how much risk you're putting yourself in? So far we think this guy only goes after the hookers, but we don't know for sure how many kills he's had. You have to be careful. What was Zabuza thinking? You're supposed to be under protective custody until... what if-"

"Dobe. Stop. Itachi brought me. He made sure I wasn't seen. He's picking me up a little later," Sasuke cut him off, slightly annoyed. "I think you're forgetting, idiot, that I'm capable of taking care of myself."

Naruto remembered that Sasuke had taken TaeKwonDo since he was six. Naruto always thought it was kind of a pussy martial art, but he'd seen Sasuke kick a few people's ass with it back in the day, so he had come around about it. Sasuke was continuing.

"And I wouldn't jeopardize your case by coming to see you without thinking it through first."

Naruto frowned, but let out a breath and nodded once.

Sasuke was right. He wouldn't risk everything Naruto worked for without some kind of plan. And after hearing of Itachi's involvement in keeping Sasuke safe, it put Naruto at ease. However… As relieved as he was that Sasuke was alright, now he was left facing the very person who'd started a hostile takeover on his mind since their little reunion in the front seat of his car. With the topic of Sasuke's safety out of the way, Naruto now had absolutely no idea what to say to him right now. He awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other, noticing Sasuke was quietly doing the same. Only with less… _shifting_ because Sasuke was…. well, _Sasuke_. But Naruto could tell that he _wanted_ to shift. He was pretty sure that at least one of Sasuke's toes had tensed. Though Naruto could be projecting.

Naruto had been trying to gather his thoughts before he saw Sasuke, and now all those thoughts were tossed in a blender and set to high.

He wasn't even sure how to go about bringing up what happened in the car. _Twice. _ As he stared at Sasuke, wondering how to bring it up, he was thrown off when his rival volunteered to go first.

Sasuke cleared his throat.

"We need to talk," Sasuke said simply.

"Yeah," Naruto answered, realizing he was still standing in front of the bathroom without a shirt on and giving pause. "Well, we could always just...sit here on the… futon, I guess. Sorry the place is such a dump. Not much privacy. You know...I don't know when Zabuza will be back." Sasuke shrugged and Naruto lead them to the futon, where Naruto suddenly noticed there was a monster stash of lube and condoms covering the scuffed up coffee table.

"Er… sorry about that," Naruto said, taking his hand and shoving the offending items onto the floor, his face heating up. He would kill Zabuza for that later _especially _if the guy was planning on using them with Haku.

"Naruto, I've seen condoms before. You're a hooker. It's fine," Sasuke smirked as Naruto's face went up in flames. He fought down the embarrassment, and decided this was as good a time as any to dive into the topic Sasuke was obviously here to discuss.

"Sasuke, I… I'm sorry that things went so far today," Naruto started, then immediately realized he said the wrong thing when Sasuke's face closed off.

"No! Wait.. I mean…" Naruto panicked slightly as he realized that any chance he had of talking to Sasuke about what had happened depended on how he worded it. Speeches had never been his strong suit, but he forced himself to be completely clear and honest. If Sasuke threw this back in his face, then that was that. Their relationship would go back to normal. Probably. If it was ever normal to begin with. "I...I don't regret what happened or anything. It's just that, I know that you were… kind of thrown into a weird position. You were just trying to help me, and it was probably confusing since I was dressed like a girl, so I totally understand why you reacted the way you did and I just don't want you to feel weird or anything…"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and Naruto realized he was babbling but he needed to get it all out there.

"...Like.. it was _forced _on you or… or feel like, erhm... that I would be, you know, expecting anything out of it… if it was awkward for you… or," Naruto prayed that a giant hand would just descend from the sky and clamp his mouth closed, because he could not get the fucking thing to stop spewing out words. Fortunately, Sasuke had a simple solution to the problem.

Leaning forward, Sasuke brushed his lips against Naruto's. "Dobe. Stop," he said for the second time that evening. "I asked to be there. You should know that no one could force me to do anything like this..."

Naruto's breath had locked up in his chest at the light brush against his lips. Sasuke had just… kissed him. Again. But Naruto was just in sweatpants, and definitely not looking like a girl. That was a good sign, right? Ah, though maybe… maybe Sasuke was just feeling bad for him now.

Naruto felt his gut twist again. He looked up and found Sasuke looking at him intently. Naruto tried to read Sasuke's expression but wasn't able to discern what Sasuke was feeling. There was perhaps a bit of nervousness in his eyes, but Naruto wasn't exactly an expert on deciphering facial features. He wished Sasuke would just say something.

"Naruto," Sasuke finally said quietly. "Why did you kiss me at the end, in the car?"

Naruto felt heat flood his face. Of all the things that Sasuke had to bring up, he had to pick the one thing Naruto knew for certain had had nothing to do with the case. He could lie. He could totally claim that the whole thing had just been a final act to make the scene look real in case anyone else had been watching. Naruto's lips twitched as he thought back to the debate that he'd had with Sasuke on ethics back in high school. Even if Sasuke used it against him, Naruto wasn't going to lie. Sasuke deserved to know the truth.

"Because… I... wanted to," Naruto said, his voice low, his eyes not breaking contact with Sasuke's.

"You wanted to kiss me because you wanted to make it look real," Sasuke said, his voice emotionless as he tried to make it more of a statement than the burning question that was eating him up inside.

"No," Naruto shook his head, vulnerability flashing across his face before resolve firmed it. His eyes stayed locked on Sasuke's, and he caught a flicker of what in anyone else he would have called insecurity. "No, I wouldn't do all of..._that," _His cheeks flushed,"... just to maintain my cover. I wouldn't use you like that. We could have just… we didn't have to… I… I don't know what to say. It just happened, Sasuke. It just felt… _right." _He finished, the last word coming out small and breathy. "Which is...heh, really weird because, before all this I felt _things _but… I didn't really think it was, uh… anything like this, you know? I mean…gah! I don't know even know what the hell I'm saying right now."

"You felt _things_?" Sasuke's expression grew even more inscrutable. "Since when?" He tried to appear calm. Not as though his entire world was hanging on Naruto's answer. Or anything.

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. He honestly didn't even know when his weird obsession with Sasuke had started. "I don't know. Does it matter?"

Sasuke just looked at him, and raised an eyebrow like of course it fucking mattered.

As usual, Naruto couldn't hold it in. "Look, I don't know, alright? I mean… we've always had this weird thing since High School, you know? I don't know… just… it obviously wasn't _this_ but it was… _something_, wasn't it?" Naruto dropped his eyes, suddenly feeling like maybe he'd revealed too much to the man who used to take great joy in humiliating him at every possible opportunity. _Of course Sasuke hadn't liked him in high school!_ All Sasuke had ever done was humiliate Naruto and criticize him. He braced himself for the scathing, mocking comment that he was sure to come.

But it didn't.

"Yeah," Sasuke said softly, after a pause that had Naruto wishing the floor would just open and swallow him whole. "It was… something."

Naruto's head snapped up, and he was met with Sasuke's intense, black gaze.

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_Cliffhanger no Jutsu!_


	10. Chapter 10 - Something's Gotta Give

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana sadly own nothing.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **Love this chapter for various reasons. I'm kind of excited we can finally release it. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Kizu and I stuffed ourselves, obviously. We ate a bunch and lounged around and just enjoyed the sweet smell of food, because it's not national turkey day. It's national food day folks. That I'm sure of.

**Warnings:** Graphic depictions of violence in this chapter.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10 - Something's Gotta Give<strong>

* * *

><p>"<em>Yeah," Sasuke said softly, after a pause that had Naruto wishing the floor would just open and swallow him whole. "It was… something."<em>

_Naruto's head snapped up, and he was met with Sasuke's intense, black gaze. _

Sasuke brushed his thumb across Naruto's lower lip, his eyes darkening. Naruto felt his breath still in his chest as heat pooled into his belly at the simple touch.

"Sasuke…" his voice sounded low and raspy to his own ears. Sasuke's hand slid around to the back of Naruto's neck, and Naruto felt his eyes start to close as Sasuke pulled him closer. Naruto knew that Sasuke wasn't likely to put into words what he meant by 'something', but the look in his eyes made Naruto feel like he'd be more than happy with a demonstration.

Yet before any of that could happen, they heard the sound of the key in the lock and the apartment door rattled and creaked before bursting open. Naruto glanced over his shoulder to see Haku with two bags of groceries in each hand, his leg extended in the air from having roundhouse kicked the flimsy door (which had evidently gotten stuck again) open. Zabuza stood behind Haku, slack jawed and silent. But his clouded eyes remained trained on Haku's back, and Naruto felt a protective urge shoot through him again as he glared at his fake pimp. He realized he needed to have a serious talk later about Zabuza's intentions, which were by no means platonic at this point.

Not noticing the tension, Haku wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and exhaled through his nose.

"Naruto, we brought some take-out and - Oh, were we expecting someone?" Haku chuckled, giving a polite smile in Sasuke's direction. The gleam in his eye suggested Zabuza may already have filled him in on a few of the day's events. Naruto blinked when Haku's stares between the two of them lingered, and realized just how close he and Sasuke were on the futon when he glanced down to find Sasuke's hand resting on his thigh.

Naruto stood up quickly, trying in vain to prevent the stain of red from permanently resting on his cheeks. "This is Sasuke. He's, uh…" He hesitated, finding that the word _friend _didn't ever really suit them, and at this point wasn't even an accurate description of their relationship. Sasuke noticed how he was at a loss for words and stood up, moving to help Haku with the bags. He extended his hand to Haku's now free one.

"I'm Defense Attorney Sasuke Uchiha, Kakashi asked me to help with the case," Sasuke said casually.

"I see," Haku said, the glimmer still present but dimming as he set the bags of food on the scarred counter.

Zabuza snorted. "Well, it wasn't his lawyer skills that Kakashi brought him in for, that's for damn sure."

Naruto shifted his feet and eyed Zabuza critically, his lips forming a tight line. He crossed his arms across his chest.

Sasuke stood and walked over to stand by Naruto, sliding his arm casually around Naruto's waist, and sending Zabuza a challenging look that clearly said 'Do you have a problem with this?' Naruto hadn't expected it - and couldn't deny the way his heart raced at the gesture. Sasuke's touch felt… _warm_. And more than a little distracting. Naruto tried to focus on a little matter he needed to settle here. The matter of Zabuza trying to get in Haku's pants, and whether Haku was ready for something like that after what he had been through.

"So what took you and Haku so long, huh?" Naruto asked, looking at Zabuza with a stern expression as if saying he better not even _think _about lying to him.

Zabuza sent him a glare, but his lips quickly formed a sinister smirk. "We were doing grow-up things, rookie," Zabuza's gaze flicked over to the futon where the bag of condoms and lube he had purchase was no longer visible. "And if you two burned through my entire stash of rubbers, aside from probably setting a world record, you owe me sixty bucks and a trip to the convenience store before dinner."

Haku sent Zabuza a sharp glance. Zabuza instantly raised his hands and looked contrite. "Not that I'm expecting… or assuming… just maybe…" Here his face shifted into much more predatory. "... hopeful."

Haku chuckled and turned away from him, pulling out a tupperware bowl of rice and casually setting it down on the table. When he turned around though - to Naruto's horror - he grabbed Zabuza by the hair and brought him down so their lips were only centimeters apart. Haku moved quickly enough so that he was pressing Zabuza against the wall. He gave the other a sly smile, "I hope that stash of yours is extra large, because if they're not going to set a world record...we might."

Naruto blanched, gaping at the two of them. It was too late. While he was out chasing a serial killer, Haku had reached the point of no return with this both stared longingly into each other's eyes, Haku's expression one of challenge, while Zabuza's lips curved with some sort of sadistic amusement. It was clear that Zabuza wasn't taking advantage of Haku at least. If anything, it looked like Haku was going to be the one running the show. And as Naruto sat there, wondering if the two of them were going to go at it on the living room floor, Sasuke leaned in, the breath of his lips brushing past Naruto's ear. "You could always sleep at my place tonight if you wanted to give them some privacy." The low timbre of his voice made Naruto's breath hitch.

Haku evidently had excellent hearing, because he shot an amused glance at Sasuke. "Let's have dinner before whatever entertainments we all retire to for the evening happen, shall we?"

"Sasuke, I couldn't go to your place even if I wanted to," Naruto murmured, realizing he must have sounded somewhat disappointed by that reality when he saw Sasuke smirking.

They all followed Haku over to the beat-up kitchen table, where he was already setting the food out. To Naruto's utter shock, Zabuza grabbed some bowls and helped to set the table. Naruto barely suppressed the urge to snicker. He was already _whipped._

"And...Haku, so are you and Zabuza, uh…" Naruto paused as Haku set a fork down beside him. Naruto let out a frustrated sigh. He grabbed the fork and jabbed it threateningly in Zabuza's direction. "Just watch yourself. I get you're my superior, but if you hurt Haku after everything he's been through you're in for an asskicking."

Zabuza looked at Naruto, a hint of approval in his eyes. "If I hurt Haku, then I'd deserve it."

Naruto looked and saw nothing but sincerity in Zabuza's eyes.

Haku smiled and sat down after all the food was out.

"Naruto, you can stop being over protective. Now, why don't you tell us about your friend? How did you two meet?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow to Naruto, indicating he should answer.

Naruto rolled his eyes, not surprised. Outside of the courtroom, Sasuke never talked much. Except when he was making fun of Naruto.

"We went to high school together. He and I were classmates."

"You were friends in high school? That's nice," Haku said, adding a little more salt to his rice.

"Ah… I wouldn't really call us friends, but we were…" Naruto stuffed a forkful of rice in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully, "...were in the same classes, I guess."

Sasuke's fork paused halfway to his mouth, then he slowly forced himself to take the bite. Zabuza was busy eating, but Haku had noticed the slight reaction.

"So… you just had some classes together? That's all?" Haku said. "Zabuza seemed to indicate you seemed closer."

"Well, ehrm… We had a lot of mutual friends? We saw each other a lot through them, at parties and stuff, but well…" This was starting to get really awkward and uncomfortable.

Sasuke put his fork down, and pushed his plate slightly away.

Haku glanced over to Sasuke's face, but as usual it showed no emotion.

"Sasuke," Haku began seemingly casually. "So what did you think of Naruto in high school?"

Sasuke fiddled with his fork on his plate, then realized he was doing it and withdrew his hand, flattening his hands against the table.

"I thought…" Sasuke began slowly. "That Naruto was the most interesting person in our school." He looked at his plate briefly, then picked up his fork and resumed eating as though he had never spoken.

Naruto almost choked on the chewed up chunks of food in his mouth at the statement. He watched Sasuke carefully out of the corner of his eyes, wondering if the affection he heard had been all in his head or not. Naruto swallowed, fiddling with his fork when Haku looked to him for an answer.

"Honestly? I thought he was a huge jerk," Sasuke slowed his chewing, "We weren't really friends, in fact we kind of disliked each other...but…" Naruto's fingers lightly grazed the utensil in deep thought. "...but somehow… all I ever really wanted was for him to look me or...acknowledge me. I ended up really...admiring him, I guess? He was just always good at everything, and well...at first it'd piss me off, because nothing I ever did seemed to be nearly as good. He never seemed to notice anything I did. But then I realized...it just drove me to work harder. I wasn't exactly a natural in academics the way I was at sports, but I just… didn't want to keep losing to him at everything. I would never have had good enough grades to make it into the police academy if I hadn't been pushing myself to try to catch up to Sasuke. In a way he's...sort of the reason I am where I am today."

Somewhere during the middle of Naruto's speech, Sasuke had stopped eating again and was staring at Naruto. When Naruto finally finished, Sasuke's eyes seemed to be frozen on Naruto's face. It didn't even look as though he were breathing. Haku smiled warmly and cleared his throat.

"Ow! What the fuck, Haku?" Zabuza said, looking under the table where a sharp thump had sounded suspiciously like someone getting kicked.

Hakus stood gracefully, taking his plate, shooting Zabuza a not-so-subtle look that his ass had better be joining him in the kitchen. Zabuza grumbled, rubbing his leg before shoveling the last three bites of his food into his mouth and following suit.

Sasuke sat for a frozen instant before he also stood, walking over to where Naruto was seated, and without saying a word pulled Naruto out of his chair and dragged him into Zabuza's empty bed room. Unable to get a word out Naruto watched Sasuke roughly shut the door behind him before Naruto found himself pressed against it. Sasuke slid his fingers through Naruto's soft hair before he pulled their mouths down together in a bruising kiss. Naruto barely registered what he was doing when he felt the pressure of Sasuke's lips increase against his, the wet heat of Sasuke's tongue running along the seam of his lips. Without hesitation, Naruto opened his mouth, groaning as Sasuke's tongue found his and grazed eroticaly against it.

Naruto fought to keep breathing as he returned the gesture, pressing forward with equal force, feeling their tongues dance and slide around each other.

Sasuke drew back slightly, his eyes darker than Naruto had ever seen them. "You…" Sasuke breathed finally. "..are an idiot."

When Naruto opened his mouth to say something, Sasuke thrust his tongue back in -that was becoming a regular theme these days - and made speech impossible again.

Sasuke heard the slight groan Naruto made, the husky sound making Sasuke's blood pound like liquid fire through him. He pressed his body flush against Naruto's, reveling in the feel of the way Naruto's body responded instantly. Sasuke could feel Naruto's pulse leap beneath the skin at the tan throat. He felt Naruto's tongue thrusting against his own, the wet sound of their tongues together making him think of all the other ways their bodies could be joined and making similar noises. His pants grew painfully tight and Sasuke pulled back, wanting Naruto to understand what his words had done to him before he ended up completely losing control and fucking him into the floor.

"Naruto…." Sasuke swallowed, trying to figure out what to say. Expressing emotions was never his strong suit, and his brain was already hazed with desire. "I…"

"I never thought I'd see the day when Sasuke Uchiha was at a loss for words," Naruto smirked, feeling a strange surge of pride at the glazed look in the dark eyes of his former rival. He was feeling the same thing he felt in Sasuke's Lincoln, that possessive power that came with seeing Sasuke come undone because of him. So many people had thrown themselves at Sasuke's feet, and Naruto had never seen the man look twice at anyone. It felt almost surreal that Sasuke was… kissing him like this. Sasuke, usually detached and stoic, was raw with desire and something a little deeper. Naruto felt an answering emotion surge through him. All those years of vying for Sasuke's attention… Naruto knew with certainty that _this_ was what he had wanted, but just hadn't been able to recognize at the time.

Naruto closed the distance between their mouths for a second time, this time being the aggressor. He felt Sasuke's sharp intake of breath and slid his hand over Sasuke's throat and up to his jaw, using his thumb to pull the pale man's jaw open further to deepen the kiss. The low growl that came from Sasuke's throat seemed to reverberate straight down to Naruto's cock. He pressed his body back against Sasuke's, registering the other's arousal as well.

Naruto lost all ability to hold back, sliding his fingers up into Sasuke's hair and pulling him more forcefully into the kiss. He felt Sasuke's hands slid along his ass, grinding their erections together and lifting Naruto slightly as their whole bodies eagerly slid together with delicious friction. Naruto felt like he was about to come out of his skin. He certainly was more than ready to be out of his clothes.

As if reading his mind, Sasuke started to untuck Naruto's shirt when a loud crash from the kitchen startled them back to reality, reminding them of where they were and the paper-thin walls of the shitty apartment. It took them both a few seconds to react, neither wanting to stop what they were doing.

Naruto slowly came down from his high, realizing his hands were still gripping onto Sasuke's hips. Their lips parted, Sasuke breathing heavily against them. Naruto hands lingered, but pulling away he turned to open the door, only to see… the crash had been a plate. Haku had Zabuza pressed against the kitchen counter with his partners hands squeezing significant portions of Haku's ass. Naruto loudly made his presence known by coughing in their direction.

"Haku, isn't it getting late?" Naruto asked pointedly. Reality hit him when he had seen the clock and realized it _was_ getting late, and Haku was supposed to be back at the safe house.

Zabuza threw Naruto a look that should have leveled him to the ground. "If you're gonna be a cock-block, kid, I might leave you on that street corner for real next time."

"I don't think you'd do that. Because than we wouldn't be able to catch the guy that hurt Haku," Naruto replied back. "You know...the person whose ass you're currently grabbing?"

Zabuza cast a somewhat sheepish glance in Haku's direction before releasing his grip. "Maybe he liked to hunt at night… we might actually catch him faster. Besides, Haku is perfectly capable of making his own choices," Zabuza said, slanting an appreciative gaze over to where Haku was straightening his clothes. Then he frowned. "But it's too bad we're back to square one," he said, dusting off the back of his jeans.

Sasuke's phone buzzed. He glanced at the caller ID. "It's Itachi. I have to meet him out front," he turned and looked at Naruto, clearly not wanting to leave. "Don't be an idiot out there," he said gruffly, sliding his thumb softly over Naruto's cheekbone. He stood there for a suspended moment, then turned and pulled on his jacket.

Naruto gave him a small nod, but not before grabbing the sleeve of Sasuke's jacket and tugging it towards him.

"Sasuke, before you go…" He started, finding that this was a little easier now than it had been earlier. "Just...uh, this is..._something..._right?" Naruto asked lamely, echoing the words he said earlier that day.

He was a lot more confident on what he wanted with Sasuke but… he just needed to make sure Sasuke wanted it, too. Pulling Sasuke towards him, he brushed his lips against the others in a chaste kiss, much like the one he gave him when they were in that Lincoln.

Sasuke took the opportunity to kiss him back, not quite as chastely, before he leaned in to whisper in his ear. "How many people have you seen me kiss before, dead last? Of course this is _something._" He turned to go as his phone buzzed with an impatient text from Itachi.

"Be careful, will you, bastard?"

Sasuke looked back at him, worry coloring his dark eyes.

"Hn, you're the one who's bait for a serial killer. Take your own advice."

* * *

><p>A week had passed since the incident in Sasuke's Lincoln, and Naruto continued to work his corner, seeing no sign of the killer, and no sign of Sasuke. Both were driving him crazy.<p>

He blew into the palms of his hands, trying to find some warmth. It was getting a lot colder as they reached the end of month, and Naruto found that the leather jacket Haku provided him with wasn't doing much to shield him from the biting winds. The weather was taking a dive, and for a guy trying to do his job in a skirt - and then some - even stockings didn't help ease the frigid chill. But Naruto didn't let his freezing nuts deter him. If anything, this just encouraged him more to find the asshole that had made this whole thing necessary and bring him to justice soon.

Since the peeping Tom was known not to be the stalker, the need for Sasuke to be involved was gone. There was still a small chance that the killer had been watching at the same time as the first suspect, but it wasn't that likely. Kakashi had held firm that there would be no further visits of Naruto's 'regular'. In the end, the captain had decided that the risks to a civilian - especially one that was an Uchiha - outweighed the slight chance of benefit to the investigation, and he let Sasuke go. Sasuke accepted it with the condition that Itachi remain in the loop on the operation.

Naruto had mixed feelings about it.

He would be lying if he said it didn't give him a thrill to be doing those things with Sasuke. And it wasn't just the physical aspect, but the way that Sasuke had seemed so intent on him, so focused with what they were doing together that somehow made Naruto crave it even more. But 'more' evidently wasn't going to happen in the near future. Not until they caught the serial killer and Naruto could get back to his regular life of _quality _ramen and _quality _boxers, not thongs.

He felt frustrated by the delay. Yet at the same time, this… _thing_… between him and Sasuke was new and confusing and intense. Having it play out in public had just made it all the more stressful and complicated. Especially when the majority of what happened involved Naruto wearing women's clothing, muddying the waters in his mind as to exactly what was attracting Sasuke to him.

He would rather have time with just the two of them so they could sort it out without a running commentary from Kiba and Sai. And - god forbid - Itachi. Naruto didn't have enough fingers to count how many innuendos Sai whipped out about the two of them after Sasuke left the case. Kiba said he had enough material to leave his job as a cop to become a stand up comedian, and at this point, Naruto believed him.

With Kakashi cracking down on the 'no outside contact' rule of undercover work, Naruto had had zero contact with Sasuke since then, and it was killing him. But it gave him time to think, and the more he did, the more he was sure that whatever he was feeling for Sasuke had been there for a long time and wasn't likely to go away anytime soon. He hoped that Sasuke was reaching the same conclusions on his own, but of course - without being able to actually _talk_ - he couldn't know for sure.

Naruto groaned. He _missed _Sasuke. That sure was a weird feeling. And the longer they went without contact, the more he found himself wondering if Sasuke really felt that same burning, intensity of consuming emotion that Naruto did. If Sasuke _was_ feeling things for him, was it only because he was now visualizing Naruto as a female?

He tried to not let his insecurities run away with him. Like whether this was just a passing thing for Sasuke, a phase, or something more? Did Sasuke even think about him anymore, or had he already moved on to someone else… someone more accessible.

Naruto had been lost in his own thoughts when he saw a beat-up looking pick-up truck pull up. His senses immediately went on alert, because it wasn't the type of vehicle he usually saw in the city. The guy driving it looked pretty rough around the edges, with a thick neck, and scars covering the muscled arm that was hanging out the window of the truck. He looked to be in his late thirties, and built like the proverbial brick shithouse.

Naruto brought his mouth to his ear piece and muttered into it.

"Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing?"

Sai's voice came through the earpiece, "_Naruto, watch this guy. Something about him doesn't read right." _Sai had been in vice long enough to know what the typical profiles of Johns were, and it made Naruto nervous that this one was sending up a red flag to the veteran was a reason a lot of working girls ended up in the morgue, and most of them weren't put there by the guy Naruto was hunting.

He decided he'd look into it and eventually let vice handle the guy. He'd get in and - with the promise of 'a bit more privacy' - direct the guy to the designated place where they would pick him up and book him. Naruto wanted to make sure that none of the other girls got in with this dude. As he made his way to the truck, a sense of foreboding swept over him. He stopped in front of the car door, noticing it was already open and the man's eyes were hard and trained on him.

"Get in, bitch," the man said gruffly. "I've got fifty, but I don't got all day to spend it."

"_Naruto, I'll head over to the pick-up spot. Have him drive over. I've already called for back-up; he looks like he won't go willingly. Just play along until they get there._"

"Okay, _baby," _Naruto said, talking to Sai but knowing the guy would think he was directly answering him instead.

Naruto opened the door and started to get in, but the man was impatient and grabbed Naruto's arm hard and jerked him in so he was sprawled out across the front seat, his face in the man's lap. He drove an elbow into Naruto's spine between his shoulder blades, pinning him there as he reached over and slammed the door shut.

The man pressed down on the gas pedal, rapidly pulling away from the curb and the safety of Kiba and Zabuza's surveillance. Naruto sucked in a ragged breath as the car moved, trying to steady himself and stay in character. He was supposed to be a hooker, not a cop. He started to look up but found his head pushed violently back down.

"I have a spot, just around the corner -" Naruto said as he tried to give directions to where Sai and the guys from vice would be waiting.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch. The only thing I want your mouth to do is scream when I hit you and suck my dick when I shove it in you." With those words, the older man jerked Naruto up by the back of his hair and backhanded him hard across his face, spitting Naruto's lip and sending him crashing back against the passenger side window, while not letting go of the steering wheel with his other hand.

For the first time since Naruto had started his assignment, he felt real fear for his safety snaking through his veins. This could potentially go very badly, very quickly. He felt the guy turn left at the intersection, heading in the opposite direction of Naruto's back-up. He wondered what the range on the tracking device was, and if Sai had already realized that it was blowing up. But he couldn't tell. Sai wasn't saying a word through his earpiece. All Naruto heard was static.

"Listen, don't you think we should -" Naruto felt the man grab another fistful of his head before slamming his head against the dashboard. There was a big steel wrench on the floor that the man grabbed before slamming it into Naruto's ribs, causing Naruto to double over in pain. The car screeched to a stop on some abandoned curb of the road out front of an old warehouse.

Naruto drew a breath through his now bleeding nose, trying to figure out how to play this. He couldn't announce he was a cop, because if the guy said anything about it their entire operation would be in jeopardy. But given that the guy had driven them pretty far away from where Naruto had been picked up, he figured he could fight back without fear of blowing his cover as 'easy prey.' Besides, anyone in a situation like this would fight back. If he didn't...

Looking over at the guy, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. Naruto could tell that this asshole was going to be tough to incapacitate, even if he went all out. Not to mention, he was at a disadvantage since he was in the man's car and the doors were locked shut. Then there was his size, and the fact that he was temperamental and could probably snap his neck if he tried hard enough. Naruto swallowed, forcing himself to think carefully about his options at this point.

He had dropped his purse when the guy had jerked him inside the truck, so he no longer had his gun. He assumed they were going to be heading into the warehouse they had parked out front of, which meant that Naruto would have his best chance to break free between the car and the warehouse door. Naruto looked around, noticing there were other cars parked where they were. God only knew what they guy had set up in there if he had planned this in advance.

But the man seemed to realize that Naruto was not going to go quietly.

With no warning, he grabbed Naruto's arm and twisted it violently while slamming a palm into Naruto's throat, stunning him. Naruto felt a wave of nausea wash over him when he heard a sickening pop come from his shoulder. He held back a pained scream as his head lurched forward, willing himself not to pass out.

"Get in the warehouse, slut, before someone sees us. You make any moves, and I'll break your other arm to match."

Naruto's brows were furrowed together, teeth clenched, trying in vain to remain calm as he nodded his head and waited, _waited _for the man to open his door and get out. When he did, Naruto would have enough room to gain some momentum and hopefully overpower the much larger man. It felt like an eternity of him sitting there, wheezing, before he heard the lock unlatch itself. Once he heard the familiar sound, Naruto figured he'd have about a five second window to try to take him by surprise. He knew his odds weren't good without back up and with his shoulder dislocated. But he couldn't just let the guy get away and do the same thing to someone else. The man was undoing his seat belt, reaching over to grab something from the glove compartment when Naruto found his chance. And he took it.

With his good hand, Naruto grabbed the seat belt and wrapped it around the man's arm, dragging it toward the door. He drove his elbow into the guy's nose, breaking it, then kicked his door open and tugged the man's arm just enough that his hand was in the door before slamming it closed and breaking the guy's fingers.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH! FUCK!" The man screamed as he tried to open the door and free his hand, but Naruto used his remaining strength to lean against the door and keep him trapped. Naruto struggled to inhale. Whatever happened to him, he needed to make sure that this guy got arrested before he went and picked up another hooker who would be less able to defend themselves. If the guy planned on escaping, he'd have to leave his hand behind to do it.

Finally, Naruto heard the sweetest sound he could have ever imagined.

Sirens.

Sai had his gun out and was jumping out of the car before it even came to a stop… and Naruto finally gave in and slipped into blissful unconsciousness.

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><p><em>xXx<em>

_To be continued..._


	11. Chapter 11 - Kiss it and Make it Better

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana do not own Naruto. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **In the wake of Naruto The Last Movie, a NaruHina scramble of sudden reciprocated feelings and world domination via outer space and the moon, (No, it's not me reading the synopsis from a poorly written fanfic) we have a treat for you! This chapter! Enjoy! And try not to be too bummed today. Also, to any of you who are currently struggling with Finals like I (Noodles) am, you can do it! We believe in you! Fight, fight! Almost there! The torture is almost over!

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><p><strong>Chapter 11 - Kiss it and Make it Better<strong>

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><p>When Naruto came to, it was to the sound of a heart monitor.<p>

The first thing he realized was that he hurt. All over. He tried to move his hand to his face to rub his eyes, but a searing pain in his shoulder stopped the motion and he bit back a groan.

He struggled to open his eyes, groggily taking in the white backdrop of stainless walls accompanied by diluted images of people surrounding him. Everything was so… _hazy._

"Naruto?"

Naruto knew the voice, but it was different somehow. Worried. Had he ever heard that voice sound like that before before? He didn't think so...

"Naruto."

It was Sasuke's voice.

Naruto blinked, forcing his eyes to focus and finding it extremely difficult. Sasuke's face came into view after a few tries, his brows creased uncharacteristically with worry.

"Idiot," Sasuke said softly. "Why do you always act without thinking?"

Naruto would have been mad at his words if Sasuke's face wasn't sending a completely different message. His dark eyes were filled with a blend of anxiety, affection, and pride. And for once, Sasuke was making no effort to conceal it.

Naruto snorted out a breath, wincing as the air passed through his abused throat. "Maybe… I was just… trying to get your attention, asshole."

"Pfft," Sasuke said, his fingers brushing lightly across Naruto's forehead, lingering slightly as they trailed down the side of his face.

"Naruto," Kakashi said, standing next to Sasuke. "Another knuckleheaded maneuver. But thanks to you, we got the guy."

Naruto turned his head slightly to look at his captain. "That guy..."

"His name was Kakuzu Taki. He was wanted for a series of robberies in the area. Known for getting rough with the working girls."

"Is he…?"

Kakashi shook his head, "...Unfortunately no, Haku took a look at him. He's not related to our case, but a good collar nonetheless. You almost gave Sai a heart attack when he realized what was happening, and Officer Inuzuka...Well, he should be here any minute now."

"Fucking SHIT Naruto are you okay?" Kiba came right on cue, pulling back the curtain to Naruto's room and scrambling to his side, his face pale with worry. Naruto smiled sheepishly at him, rubbing the back of his head with his good arm, careful not to pull the IV.

"I'm fine, Kiba," Naruto said, suddenly feeling tired.

"The doctor said you need to spend the night in the hospital so they can be sure there is no internal bleeding. If it goes well, you can go home tomorrow, but you need to rest for the next twenty-four hours. They set your dislocated shoulder, and you have some bruised ribs and facial abrasions. Luckily, nothing was broken, but you're going to be sore for a while," Kakashi said, looking at Naruto seriously. "We are not sure yet if you will need to be replaced on this assignment. Your shoulder will be weak for at least a couple weeks, making you more vulnerable."

"Yeah, dude… This was kind of a close call here, and who knows what can happen next time. Look, Haku won't be mad, alright? We can just send someone else in and -" Kiba said in a rush.

"I can still do this case, Kiba," Naruto said firmly, cutting Kiba off. He looked at Kakashi , determination showing in his eyes, though it hurt to make any sort of expression. "Captain, please allow me to stay on this case. I heal quickly. I won't need more than twenty-four hours to be in decent enough condition to go back out there. I might even be ready to go before then. We've already put too much work into this for someone new to come in and take my place, and there won't be enough time for someone new to take over. Really… I'm fine. I can still do this."

Sasuke reached over and brushed the back of his knuckles gently across Naruto's wrist. "Idiot. Take a few days off. Let Kakashi make the call if they need to replace you. You will be no use to anyone if you are too hurt to do anything but get yourself killed."

"Sasuke," Naruto felt his temper rise, but the lingering worry he saw in the dark eyes cooled it back down. "Look, I appreciate your concern but… we can't waste time. The damage this guy deals is way worse than this. We can't afford to slow the investigation down for something minor like a hurt shoulder."

"The killer will wait a day, Uzumaki," Kakashi replied, earning himself a critical blue stare. "You spend tomorrow resting at your apartment with Zabuza or you're off the case. I'll assess your condition after that and decide if you stay on the case or not."

"But that's not..!" Naruto began sitting up, but hissed out a breath as pain flashed through his stomach where Kakuzu had hit him with the wrench. He clutched his side weakly, noticing that he was also a little dizzy from the pain medication. He didn't want to sit here doing nothing, but it didn't look like he would have much choice. Frustration surged through him. He felt… useless like this.

Sai spoke up from the doorway where had been standing quietly. "Naruto. I've read the reports of what our killer does to his victims. Believe me when I tell you that you do not want to be one of them. If he has already marked you, he will wait a day. We're still ahead of schedule for when he is likely to make his next move. Heal up and get your strength back. Today was rookie day. The guy you're after is much more skilled and much more dangerous."

The room was quiet for a moment as Sai's words sunk in. Even Naruto looked subdued. Sai was… right, he supposed. He wouldn't be much use to Haku or anyone if he couldn't even stand up straight. Naruto glanced at Sai, "Thanks for today, by the way," he said, his voice serious.

Sai nodded in response, his eyes concerned.

"Zabuza will go back and keep an eye on the other girls with Jiraya tomorrow. He and Sai can keep an eye out. You just rest."

Sasuke looked directly at Kakashi. "If Naruto is going to be alone in his apartment tomorrow, I am staying with him. If people see me, it will just look like I decided to have my regular 'servicing' at his house instead of the front seat of my car."

"Sasuke… That's not a good idea," Naruto said tiredly.

"From what Itachi told me, the guy likes to make his move when his target is alone. That's why you wanted me to leave when you first saw someone watching us. If he tries to take you like this, you don't stand a chance. If he knows someone is with you, he'll wait."

"Even though the killer has never attacked any of the victims in their home, I agree. There's not much risk for blowing his cover. Sasuke visiting Naruto wouldn't look suspicious. They'd just assume he preferred it against a mattress instead of steering wheel this time," Kakashi teased.

Naruto's face that was once devoid of color lit up like a Christmas tree, and Sasuke had to turn away because he was actually _laughing._

"W-Why did you have to bring that up Captain?" Naruto groaned.

"Because everyone's still thinking about it, dickwad," Kiba said, snickering.

"Everyone," Sai emphasized with a quick upturn of his lips, and Naruto had to resist the growing urge to pull his covers over his head. Or take the IV stand and smash his friends in the head with it. Either sounded appealing.

"Alright, Sai, Kiba. Naruto has an excuse for laying around for the rest of the day. You don't. I want you two to get back over with Zabuza and make sure things are going ok for Jiraya's girls while Naruto is out of commission for the next twenty-four hours. Naruto - I'll be by tomorrow evening to check on you. We have a uniform stationed outside of your room, just in case you get the wrong kind of visitor. The hospital staff were simply told that you had been attacked and only one of your assailants was caught. If the doctor clears you, you can go back to your apartment tomorrow. But you need to rest. If I get word that you set so much as one shaven leg on that street before I clear you, I'm kicking all the way back down to traffic duty."

Naruto laughed nervously and lifted a hand to wave them goodbye.

"I'll keep that in mind, Captain. And Kiba… I'll be fine, seriously. Something like this wouldn't take me out," He said with a small smile, noticing that Kiba was still reluctant to leave his side despite being given the order to do so.

Kiba sighed and shook his head, showing that he understood. But not before shooting Sasuke a warning look first, "Just remember that his ass just got beat. It's not up to getting pounded as well."

Sasuke simply arched a brow, but said nothing.

"GoodBYE, Kiba," Naruto grumbled, his face flaming again. He could hear the sound of Sai and Kakashi snickering all the way down the hall. But once they were gone and Naruto was resigned to his inability to sprint after them and beat the shit out of them, he was left with an uncomfortable silence.

Sasuke was still standing by Naruto's bedside, his face calm, but his eyes still visibly upset over Naruto's condition. Naruto still couldn't get over it. He never imagined Sasuke would ever be this worried over him, and seeing it written all over his old rival's usually expressionless face filled Naruto with indescribable amounts of guilt… but also a warmth that he couldn't explain. Naruto came to the conclusion that maybe he wasn't thinking clearly when he had downplayed his injuries without even hearing what the healing process would entail first, and just _maybe _he should have considered his friends' feelings, including Sasuke's as well. Being careful had never been his strong suit. But that didn't mean he had to be reckless. His lips formed an apologetic smile, and gingerly he reached from the bedside to touch Sasuke's hand.

Sasuke's hand jerked reflexively at the touch, not expecting it. He looked down to find Naruto's eyes watching him intently.

"I'm fine, Sasuke," Naruto said honestly, and Sasuke nodded once before pulling a chair over to sit next to him. He gradually exhaled through his nose like he'd been holding his breath.

"You don't have to tell me that, idiot," Sasuke muttered irritably, but his eyes still conveyed a restlessness that probably wasn't going to go away until Naruto healed. Naruto knew that he just needed some time. He gave Sasuke a light but raspy chuckle.

"Heh, you should see the other guy?" Naruto tried to joke, his split lip pulling as he smiled.

Sasuke's lips twitched. "Idiot," Sasuke repeated, but the word was full of affection. Sasuke reached over and slid his fingers lightly around Naruto's, then laced their fingers together.

Naruto looked at their entwined hands, feeling emotionally at sea on how this could feel so natural so quickly. How badly Naruto wanted this simple gesture to mean so much more. He fought to tell himself not to get too far ahead of things in his feelings, but he knew it was already too late.

Everything he had always felt about Sasuke seemed to tilt wildly on its axis and click into place. Every achievement that seemed to not matter until Sasuke had noticed it, every mistake that seemed to make him less worthy to be Sasuke's rival, every insane act Naruto had carried out to get one pair of dark eyes to look at him. It was all for this. And this….

This was dangerous.

Naruto felt his stomach clench in a fear that far surpassed whatever he had felt trapped in Kakuzu's car that day. He had no idea where Sasuke's head was at when it came to them, but he had seen countless hearts smeared on the pavement in the pursuit of trying to get Sasuke Uchiha to care for them. Sasuke had at least said there was _something_ between them. For now, Naruto would settle for that. But he wanted… he wanted so much more.

Sasuke was here, and he was staying. Naruto frowned at the thought as he looked at the clock in his room.

"You're thinking too hard… don't hurt yourself," Sasuke said, smirking.

"Isn't it past visiting hours? Aren't you gonna get in trouble for staying?"

Sasuke cocked his head to the side. "Well, I guess you could say I have pull with the management here."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. "What do you mean?"

Just then the door opened. A woman wearing a hospital coat and a stethoscope around her neck walked in.

Naruto's eyes lit up immediately, recognizing who it was. Mrs. Uchiha was a lot of things, but forgettable wasn't one of them.

"Naruto," she said, her eyes showing concern as she walked over and gave him a careful hug before picking up his medical chart and skimming through it. "Itachi told me you were here. Does your mother know? Do you need me to call her for you?"

"Ah! We-Well, that's probably not the _best _idea, Mrs. Uchiha. Um, heh…" Naruto told her sheepishly, trying not to seem panicked at imagining his mom's reaction at hearing he was in the hospital. Not to mention that he was on an undercover operation.

"He got hurt on the job, mother, and no one is allowed to know about his assignment. He's working undercover, which is why his chart doesn't have his last name. Didn't Itachi tell you that?" Sasuke pinned his mother with a skeptical glare, and she had the grace to blush.

"Well, just because my sons never tell me anything doesn't mean a sweet boy like Naruto won't. It was worth a try," Mikoto said, winking at Naruto before turning and brushing a kiss over Sasuke's hair.

Naruto's stomach fluttered as usual from Sasuke's mother's natural charm. He suddenly remembered why, when he was in high school, at least half his class had a bit of a crush on Mrs. Uchiha.

"Tell Naruto he can't go to work tomorrow," Sasuke said, relaxing a bit as his mother rested her hand on his shoulder, sensing his worry.

"You weren't going to try working like this, were you Naruto?" She asked seriously, reaching out to pinch his cheek. "Your mother would be so worried if she knew you were behaving so recklessly."

Naruto shot Sasuke a glare. Of course the bastard had to pull out the big guns and get 'Mom Guilt' involved.

"No, no, Mrs. Uchiha, I wasn't!" Naruto tried to defend himself, holding up his hands. He'd always been a terrible liar. "I swear, I'm staying right here until you say I can go, okay? Yup. Just me and this bed. Not going anywhere. Haha…sopleasedon'ttellmymom." He totally felt like he was back in high school again.

"Well, I hope you mean that. Sasuke always was so upset in high school when you'd get hurt in those football games. He'd come home and spend all night looking things up on those medical websites to make sure that you were getting it treated properly. I almost thought he was going to follow in my footsteps and become a doctor. This is much more serious. You need to take care of yourself."

Naruto didn't hear much past the part where she said Sasuke used to look things up because he was worried about him. His large blue eyes gazed up at Sasuke in surprise, noticing a small pink tinge dusting his cheeks as he grumbled under his breath.

"He didn't need to know that…" Sasuke looked away, embarrassed.

"Oh, Sasuke… you're sitting at his bedside in the hospital holding hands. I'm pretty sure I'm not spilling any secrets. I'm just so happy to finally see the two of you together!"

Naruto felt his entire face flame. "Together?!" Instantly, Naruto's mind was filled with images of just exactly what he and Sasuke were doing 'together'. Did his mom know? Could she tell just by looking at them? Would she freak out? "Uh...Well we're… Mrs. Uchiha, we really…" He trailed off, looking at Sasuke for help but finding he wasn't aiding him much since he became silent. To Naruto's surprise, Sasuke looked smug, not embarrassed.

Sasuke gave Naruto a level look, but didn't let go of Naruto's hand. He turned to his mother. "Don't you have rounds to do or people to catheterize?"

Mikoto smiled, long ago having become immune to Uchiha glares and insults. She simply bent down and kissed her son on the cheek. "Be good and don't disturb the other patients."

Then she took her clipboard and left the room, a twinkle sparkling in her eye. Neither boy saw her immediately pull out her phone and call her friend.

"Kushina? Mikoto. We need to do lunch tomorrow...Uh-huh. Yes, it finally happened! It's about time."

* * *

><p>Naruto looked at Sasuke, not really sure what to say. "So… does your mom know that… you're… that you… date… men?"<p>

Sasuke smirked, easing into his chair.

"So we're dating?"

"Um, well.. I mean.. if you wanted…. not that I was assuming… I just… do you… want to be?" Naruto played his words back in his head and realized that a slow-witted four-year-old would probably have sounded smoother. Despite running multiple scenarios in his head that this was fine, that Sasuke wanted him for _him_, he still couldn't help but feel insecure. He could lie to himself and say it was because this was his first relationship with a guy… but he knew it was really because it was with _Sasuke_. Everything had always mattered more when Sasuke was involved. Especially… this.

Sasuke shifted his knees slightly wider apart on the chair, leaning back in a way that drew further attention to his solid, lean build. His eyes were locked on Naruto's, and despite his seemingly casual posture, there was nothing casual about the heat in his gaze.

"I think…" Sasuke said, leaning in so his face was close enough that Naruto could feel the heat of his breath. "... that I would be very annoyed if you dated someone else, Uzumaki."

"Is that your asshole way of asking me out?" Naruto asked, grinning.

"Hn," Sasuke said, his lips twitching in response.

Naruto sighed and closed his eyes, feeling a wave of pain wash over him.

Sasuke notice his grimace, and pushed the call button for a nurse. Naruto huffed at the action, almost pouting.

"I'm fine, Sasuke, jeez…"

"And you'll feel even better once we get you some more medication, stupid. I can tell you're in pain. You need to rest, which means you need to let them give you the proper treatment."

A nurse came in. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it was an accid-.."

Sasuke cut him off.

"He is in pain. He needs medication."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, not at all happy that he was being treated as some vulnerable, fragile thing. But before he could open his mouth to protest he felt another wave of pain pound its way towards his skull. Evidently the earlier pain meds were wearing off. He groaned, and the nurse flashed him a sympathetic smile. She reached for his arm, fiddling with the IV line. Then she pulled out a needle and slowly slid it into the tube, pressing down and letting the medication slowly enter into his system.

"This should fix you up for the rest of the night. You might feel a bit woozy for a bit, but it will let you sleep comfortably."

Sasuke watched as Naruto simply grunted in acknowledgement, lay back, and closed his eyes. After five minutes of not hearing a sound - which was odd, considering Naruto was loud by nature - Sasuke grew concerned. "Feel any better...?" He asked him carefully.

Naruto opened his eyes, his blue gaze slightly unfocused. He gave Sasuke a lopsided grin. "You're... pretty."

"He's fine now," Sasuke deadpanned, and the nurse giggled before leaving the room. Naruto was positively beaming right now in his drug-induced haze.

"...You're so pretty, S'uke…"

"I think you've made that clear," Sasuke said, drily.

"Like.. like one of those paintings…. yanno? Not even… not even _real_ cuz it's just too perfect…" Sasuke tried and failed not be amused at Naruto's state. "...I feel funny," Naruto said, then snickered a little, cupping his mouth with his hands. "Mm… Hey… Sasuke...do you remember… that one time when we were in the Chem lab…?"

"You're going to need to be more specific, Dobe. We were in a lot of classes together."

"You know... Sophomore year…? When you asked me why I was staring at you and….and I told you I was wondering what kind of asshole would put that much product in his hair...heh..to make it stand up like that…?"

Sasuke looked down at Naruto's dilated eyes and smirked. "Hn," He pulled the chair closer, gently carded his fingers through Naruto's hair. "I remember."

"...Mm...Well...see I...I later realized that your hair was sort of freakish...and it naturally looked that way...but…" Naruto paused, slurring his words. "..But I...the reason I was really staring at ya was 'cause….I thought you looked really...really beautiful, S'uke..like...sometimes it would… catch me off guard, and I'd just stare. I'd look at you and think… Man, if...he were a girl...or something… hahaha… You should be wearin' the skirt here… haha…"

Sasuke felt a small blush creep across his cheeks, but looked away before it could show. He knew Naruto would never tell him this if he wasn't as high as a kite. "You should try to sleep now."

"Mmmm… Sasuke?"

"Dobe?"

"I wanna kiss you… 'kay?"

Sasuke slowly smiled, and it was one of those tiny, rare, genuine smiles that eased its way to the surface whenever Naruto was concerned. "...I could arrange that," He said, leaning down and gently brushing his lips across Naruto's bruised ones. Naruto slid his hand around the back of Sasuke's neck and pulled him down more forcibly, not wanting anything gentle right then.

Sasuke let Naruto set the pace, feeling the blonde's tongue slide between his lips and run along his teeth. Sasuke opened slightly, but forced himself to remain relatively passive, not wanting to escalate things when Naruto was this injured. Naruto swirled his tongue languidly over Sasuke's before slowly pulling back. Then he relaxed back against the pillows with a soft hum.

"I like kissing you," He said sleepily. "...And...ramen….I like ramen too…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Well, at least I made the list. Now sleep."

Naruto didn't say a word.

He was out before Sasuke could finish his sentence.

Sasuke sat for almost an hour, watching Naruto sleep and thinking about how much had changed in his life in the past week.

When Itachi had called him and said that Naruto had been taken to the hospital, Sasuke had simply left his client sitting in his office and ran to his car. All Itachi had been able to tell him was that the injuries weren't life-threatening, but he didn't know what they were.

When Sasuke had arrived at the hospital and seen Naruto unconscious, with his face bruised and his lip bloodied, he had felt an almost uncontrollable surge of rage and panic flood over him. He understood that this was Naruto's job. It was what Naruto had wanted more than anything else all through high school: to be a cop like his parents. To help people. But in that moment, all Sasuke could think about was that some piece of trash had done this to _his_ Naruto, and how fucking _dare _they hurt him.

He had been relieved to see that Naruto's shoulder had only been dislocated and not broken. But when Sai had told Kakashi what had happened, Sasuke's blood had run cold. _Of course_ the idiot couldn't have just run away to safety and wait for backup. No, he'd had to take on restraining the man who had just dislocated his shoulder and beaten the crap out of his face. The same thing that attracted Sasuke to Naruto also sometimes made Sasuke crazy. Why couldn't Naruto place more value on his own safety? Didn't he understand what would happen to Sasuke if something really bad ever happened to Naruto?

Unconsciously, Sasuke's hand tightened around the blond's. He nodded thanks absently to the nurse who came in with a cot that his mother had sent up for him, knowing he would be spending the night.

He had waited for so many years to have Naruto, and now that he had him...

Sasuke brushed a stray hair from Naruto's face, tucking it behind his ear.

… Now that he had him, there was no way he was going to let anything take him away from him ever again.

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><p>It was so unfortunate, really.<p>

Honestly, it was a fucking bother that he had to do it. But it was not to be tolerated. The blond hooker was _his_. And that stupid fucking neanderthal Kakuzu had almost damaged him beyond the point where it would be any sort of a fucking challenge.

He sighed.

Watching from the shadows as Kakuzu was being escorted from the hospital back to the courthouse, his hand in a cast. The man engulfed in the darkness grinned ferally. He couldn't run the risk of someone so beneath him and the Lord's grace getting in his way. Not when he had found such a perfect target… a perfect sacrifice. He had to stop himself from laughing, because just imagining how pleased his Almighty would be was enough to set his mind ablaze. Doing this was _mercy. _Divine intervention.

He was going to show that slut what repentance was.

Though, he supposed he did owe the imbecile who harmed the soul he was saving a small debt of gratitude. At least now he knew that his blond was a cop. And they were always a bit trickier to kill, but the challenge made the thrill of it even better.

The dreams had started again.

His failed attempt on the beautiful brunette had not kept the voices at bay the way he needed them to. The blond was invading his dreams. Tainting them. Trying to seduce him. Fucking deceitful minx… He would need to perform the ritual soon. His god was not a patient one. The ritual must be performed exactly as prescribed, or else he wouldn't be cleansed.

He closed his eyes, imagining the blond laid out before him. _Yes_…. that would be a sacrifice worthy of his god. His fingers twitched from the idea of maybe indulging himself before purifying his soul, thinking how lovely it would be to bathe in sin before the final hour where he, and _him,_ would be saved. But he stopped himself, knowing that his thoughts were straying from the righteous path as much as he wanted to… lay with _him.._

Suppressing a pleasant shiver, he looked at his watch.

The bail hearing for the interloper wasn't until tomorrow morning. He would return then. He would make sure his sacrifice was not marred further.

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><p><em>xXx<em>

_DUN DUN DUN...!_


	12. Chapter 12 - Waiting Sucks

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana do not own Naruto. Sigh.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **FOR EVERYONE WHO FINISHED FINALS THIS WEEK, CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR DESCENT INTO HELL IS OVER! LET'S SCREAM TOGETHER. YOU SURVIVED, PAL! PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK! For anyone who is still undergoing the torture, hang in there soldier... Remember, Kizu and I are waiting for you back at the base with a cold drink in one hand a disgusting amount of SasuNaru smut in the other. You'll pull through, dude. Just take deep breaths and remember what's waiting on the other side. We hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

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><p><strong>Chapter 12 - Waiting Sucks<strong>

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><p>Kushina and Mikoto met for lunch at their usual spot, an inconspicuous bakery just around the corner from Mikoto's workplace that served the <em>best <em>cheesecake. They went there every week or so to catch up, but today the atmosphere was different in their usual booth. Kushina was beaming harder than a set of stage lights.

"I can't believe it," she said dreamily.

Mikoto gave a wicked grin that briefly looked like Itachi's. "While your son was laying in his hospital bed, _my_ son was sitting by his bedside holding his hand." She happily sighed at the memory. Sasuke hadn't even seemed to have been aware that he had been doing it.

Kushina couldn't help but giggle. Her hands flew to hold Mikoto's, squeezing them almost reassuringly, "I wish you'd gotten a picture! I've been waiting a _long _time for this to happen."

"Me too…" Mikoto said with a hint of exasperation. "I knew Sasuke liked him the minute he stormed through the house from school saying he'd never met anyone so _blindingly stupid in his life._ It was the most words he had strung together for something other than homework in more than a year._"_

"I don't think there was a single day that went by in Naruto's four years of high school that he didn't come home and have something to say about 'Sasuke did this' or 'Sasuke said that' or 'I'm gonna pound Sasuke into the floor the next time I see the bastard'... of course.. he said that in the most innocent possible way, poor baby, but Minato and I knew what he really meant. He wasn't always the brightest of boys about those things, but he has always been very passionate."

"Sasuke would get so upset…" Mikoto made a face similar to Sasuke's scowl, pointing a manicured finger at the impression. "He'd look like this and spend _hours _on the computer researching ways to get rid of someone, but of course he never followed through with them. He can be very over dramatic," Mikoto smiled, "And other times he would be looking up information on how to treat some injury that Naruto had gotten in sports. I was just happy he met someone fun for a change. He's so stubborn like his father, and not very sociable. It was a relief when once I caught him _neglecting _his homework to talk to his friend Neji about your son. I would hear him rambling about Naruto all the time, calling him this and that. It was so cute. And then when he got older and I was cleaning his room, he left his computer on...and Kushina, I couldn't help but peek. In his browsing history was, _how to make a straight man gay, _and, _how to make an idiot realize he should be in love with you. _I knew from there. It was all pretty self explanatory..."

The two women sighed happily, each lost in their own recollections of all the signs that they had seen and patiently waited to bear fruit.

But reality came rushing back as they both remembered the reason _why_ this had all come about… the fact that Naruto was injured and in the hospital. Kushina put her cup of coffee down and sighed, rubbing her index finger around the rim of the cup nervously.

Mikoto just smiled supportively at her, sipping at her tea. She knew she could get in trouble for revealing the information about Naruto's condition, but she also knew that Kushina would not let it slip that she had found out. They had been friends for too long to keep secrets about their children's safety, and from one mother to another Mikoto had made the call that Kishina needed to know. After all, they were practically family.

"He's going to be fine," She said, watching Kushina's lips sink into a pout. "Naruto is a strong boy, Kushina, and he always gets back up when he falls. You know that."

"I know, I know…" Kushina muttered obstinately, poking at her desert with her spoon. "I'm so proud of him, but I worry about him sometimes. He's got Minato's bravery, but he also has my hardheadedness, you know…? He just rushes in, he doesn't think about the consequences to himself and…"

"And it worries you because you're reminded of yourself, Kushina?" Mikoto smiled, and Kushina's head fell forward slightly in defeat, nodding once.

"God, he reminds me so much of...of _me. _ He acts just like how I used to act when I was his age."

"You still are that way," Mikoto snickered, and Kushina crossed her arms across her chest in a huff.

"I've toned down. Minato doesn't need to keep a leash on me anymore."

Mikoto waggled her eyebrows, "He doesn't _need_ to, but…."

Kushina's face basically turned the same color as her hair. She recovered quickly and lifted her lips into a mischievous grin, akin to that of her son's, "How have you and Fugaku been doing lately, hm?"

Now it was Mikoto's turn to sigh and poke at her food.

"Busy, like always. But it's been better, I suppose. Though the work and stress of the District Attorney's office has really been taking a toll on my husband."

"Is he still upset that Sasuke is working as a defense lawyer instead of in the DA's office with him?"

Mikoto smiled a bit, remembering the unholy battle of wills that had taken place between two of the most important men in her life. Actually all three of them if you included Itachi's defection as well, "Well… he isn't happy, but he's stopped actively fighting it. Sasuke is pretty successful, after all, and although he doesn't admit it, Fugaku's actually very proud of him."

"You just like seeing Fugaku taken down a peg by Sasuke every time they match up in court, don't you? I know how much it bothered you that he gave Sasuke such a hard time at first."

"He was just worried that Sasuke would get a lot of criticism for what he was doing," Mikoto took a forkful of her cheesecake and put it in daintily her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "But he knows that Sasuke can handle it. Though judging by what I saw in your son's hospital room, Sasuke might end up switching sides and working for my husband soon."

"Oh?" Kushina lifted an eyebrow, grinning from ear to ear. If anyone could change to course of someone's life, it was Naruto. Her son was a force of nature. And Naruto would not sit quietly if Sasuke kept getting criminals off that Naruto had arrested. It would make for some interesting arguments, that's for sure. "We're going to have to plan the wedding soon," Kushina said slightly dreamily. Naruto was her only child, after all.

"But if we do, who would wear the dress?" Mikoto said jokingly.

"Sasuke," Kushina answered immediately, no hesitation in her voice. "He would look _gorgeous_."

Mikoto thought briefly of the outfit that Naruto had been wearing when he was brought into the hospital. She decided it was best if perhaps Kushina didn't know _all _the details of her son's… situation. "Well… Kushina dear, I think in terms of experience, Naruto would probably be the best choice," she said cryptically.

* * *

><p>When it was time for the decision to be made as to whether Naruto was ready to be released, Mikoto went over his charts personally with a fine-toothed comb. She was a bit surprised at how rapidly Naruto appeared to have improved.<p>

She had no choice to but to authorize his release, but she was going to be sure she channeled Kushina in terms of impressing upon her hopefully future son-in-law that he had to behave himself and take it easy.

"Naruto," Mikoto said in her most intimidating Uchiha voice. "I have complete authority to keep you in this hospital until I feel you are well enough to leave. I need you to give me your word that you will _absolutely not do anything physically strenuous_ for the next twenty-four hours. You have had minor internal injuries which should be fine after that time for normal activities. But until then, your body needs to recover. Do you give me your word?"

"Yes, ma'am," Naruto said, his eyes slightly wide at seeing the normally friendly Mikoto so domineering. He suddenly realized why Sasuke had always done whatever his mother said back in high school.

Mikoto nodded sharply, then rounded on Sasuke. "And you? I need you to give me your word as well, Sasuke."

Naruto frowned. "Um… but Sasuke isn't injured."

Sasuke would have rolled his eyes if he weren't so busy fighting hard to not flush at what his mother was clearly implying. Mikoto turned and smiled indulgently at Naruto. "Oh, aren't you so cute. Kushina was right about you, wasn't she, poor dear," she turned back to Sasuke while Naruto rapidly blinked his eyes, muttering _what_. "Well? You've waited ten years, you can wait another couple of days."

"Huh?" Naruto asked, completely lost.

"Tch, I'm not an idiot, mother," Sasuke said, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. "Unlike some other people," he muttered under his breath, though Mikoto caught the hint of affection lurking in his eyes as they landed softly on Naruto.

"Hn," Mikoto said. "I suppose that will have to suffice. Very well. Itachi brought over some of Sasuke's clothing for you to wear, Naruto. It might be more comfortable than the… um.. outfit… you were wearing when you came in, dear."

"You are an angel of mercy, Mrs. Uchiha," Naruto said with feeling, smiling in relief as Mikoto handed him a soft black hoodie and some jeans. While he was grateful that he could wear something that _wasn't _made out of leather, Naruto couldn't help but roll his eyes at the dark colors, finding that it was very Sasuke-like. He glanced at his rival, smirking.

"Ever thought about, I dunno, wearing something that isn't depressing to look at?" Naruto lightly commented. He pulled himself slightly unsteadily to his feet, still feeling the effects of the pain medication, and turned to face the wall for modesty's sake while he pulled on the jeans under his hospital gown. Naruto had completely forgotten that the hospital gown didn't close in the back. Mikoto turned politely away, but not before noticing how her son's gaze appeared riveted to the sight of the young officer changing in the corner. Naruto pulled on his jeans and grunted softly when he almost lost his balance pulling the snug-fitting jeans on. After zipping them up, he felt a freedom he hadn't felt since he started this case. It felt amazing to wear regular men's clothing again. He didn't know if he'd ever appreciated a pair of men's pants as much as he did now. The sneakers might have been a half size too big, but compared to heels, they were bliss.

Sasuke refocused his gaze after a second, then put his phone down and sneered, "I don't think you of all people should be judging another person's attire. Considering the outfits you've worn looked like they were picked by a color blind clown."

"You don't know fashion, bastard."

"And you do?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Naruto was not known for his fashion sense. Sasuke could point out several misguided attempts at appareling that ranged from pitiful to horrendous since the time they were in high school. "I can assure you, you are the only person who seems to think that 'bright orange is the new black'. I still have nightmares about that orange abomination you wore almost every day in middle school."

"Hey! I happened to like that outfit, thank you very much. It was comfortable."

"Comfortably nauseating. It was so bright I wouldn't have been surprised if you crossed the street with it and caused a three-mile pileup. The only person in our school with worse fashion sense was Lee."

"Now look here, asshole, my mom picked that out for me," Naruto snapped with a soft huff, and Mikoto muffled her laughter with her hand. Kushina's taste in clothing were sometimes questionable.

Naruto quickly stripped off his hospital gown and went to pull the hoodie on, wincing as he realized he couldn't lift his left arm sufficiently to do so.

"Tch, idiot,**"** Sasuke quickly walked over to Naruto, grabbing the shirt and slowly pulling it up Naruto's arm to avoid moving the injured shoulder any more than was necessary. He made a mental note to have Itachi bring over some button-down shirts that would be easier for Naruto to get in and out of. Sasuke noticed how the muscles of Naruto's back tensed under the tan skin, and resisted the urge to run his hand along them.

He could see the tinge of red along Naruto's cheekbones, and wondered if the blond was embarrassed at needing assistance or if the blush was due to something else. Naruto took the hem of the shirt from Sasuke's grasp and pulled it on the rest of the way.

"Thanks," Naruto murmured, feeling another wave of dizziness and not sure whether it was the effects of the medication or the proximity of Sasuke to his naked chest. He looked over to where Mikoto stood with her fingers pressed to her lips as though to suppress a giggle, her eyes dancing.

Sasuke cleared his throat and stepped back, his eyes far from casual as they slowly slid along Naruto's body before returning to his face.

Naruto blew out a breath, smoothing out the shirt that happily _covered _his stomach - which was a welcome change - down to his thighs, "Ah, my arm took a little coaxing, but this definitely works. Thank you Mrs. Uchiha."

"Don't thank me. Just promise me you'll take good care of yourself, okay?" Mikoto reminded him sternly, noticing her son's lingering gaze but refraining from commenting on it. Naruto nodded once, earning him a light peck on the cheek from the doctor. Mikoto then turned to Sasuke and kissed his forehead.

"Be good," She said to her youngest son sweetly, though there was a stern warning afflicting her voice. Once she left the room - with several waves at Naruto of course - Itachi came in.

"Are you ready?" Itachi's eyes quickly assessed Naruto's condition, taking in his bruised face and slightly unsteady stance.

"Yeah, I'm good," Naruto replied, taking several steps forward. He realized he'd moved too quickly when a wave of dizziness washed over him. The ground tilted suddenly and Naruto thought he was going to crash into it when Sasuke's arm wrapped around his waist to keep him steady. Naruto took a slow breath, feeling embarrassed as he tried to get his bearings again. He murmured a small thank you as Sasuke's palm slid to his waist and squeezed it reassuringly.

"You're still medicated, dumbass. Take it one step at a time. Remember what my mother said. You need to take care of yourself and we're not in a rush."

"Yeah, yeah… I know," Naruto sighed, not at all liking that he was being preached at but knowing Sasuke was right.

"Naruto," Itachi cut in, "Zabuza is waiting outside of the room. You will be riding with him in his car, and I will be following you two to make sure that you arrive without any mishaps. Sasuke," He turned to look at him, "After Zabuza and Naruto make it back to their place, you will be allowed to visit."

Sasuke's face remained passive, but he was uncomfortable with the idea. Naruto still wasn't fully steady on his feet and Sasuke didn't want to let him out of his sight given everything that had just happened. "I can't just drive him back?"

"You will wait here in the hospital until I call you to let you know Naruto's settled in. Then you will take your car and drive to Naruto's place by yourself. This will make it look like Naruto was picked up by his _employer, _driven home, and you, a paying customer, just so happened to drop by around the same time. I will be monitoring the area overnight and in radio contact with Kakashi. Do you both understand the plan?"

They both nodded, though Sasuke did it somewhat grudgingly, and Itachi's eyes glinted with humor at the sheer possessiveness of his little brother. The eldest Uchiha held the door open for Naruto to step through. Sasuke reluctantly let go of Naruto's waist and watched as he slowly made his way out the door and into the hallway where Zabuza was leaning against the wall, waiting for him.

* * *

><p>As Naruto approached, Zabuza moved towards him and placed an arm on Naruto's shoulder to lead the way. Zabuza's voice showed surprising concern as he looked Naruto over. "That was a hell of a fight you put up. You alright, kid?"<p>

Naruto was caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice as they stepped into the elevator and headed for the lobby.

"Yeah, I'm fine… Does uh, Haku…?"

"He knows," Zabuza said gruffly, "He's waiting for us back at the apartment - well, more like pacing. He's been worried about you all day, so try not to be that fucking reckless again, got it? Or next time I'll be the one breaking your shoulder." The harshness of the man's words were belied by the worried look in the older man's eyes. The elevator doors opened. Naruto was surprised when a hand hooked under his arm and gently guided him towards the hospital entrance. Once they were outside, Zabuza opened the passenger side of the car for him and, despite Naruto insisting he was fine, helped him into his seat.

Naruto realized maybe Haku wasn't totally crazy to like the older cop. Inside that hard exterior was someone who genuinely cared for the well being of others, and Naruto was comforted by that knowledge. Zabuza was a really decent guy after all.

"What the fuck are you staring at, kid?" Zabuza growled as the car hummed, noticing Naruto was just gazing at him with this dopey grin on his face.

"Ah, sorry," Naruto caught himself, looking away with the grin still on his face, "Nothing."

They drove back to their dingy apartment on the other side of town, and all the while Zabuza laid out the plan for the next few days regarding the investigation and the additional security protocols that he had worked out with Sai in case something like this happened again. As they approached the apartment, Zabuza told him that he would leave it to Naruto to assure Haku that he didn't need worry anymore. He also warned him that Haku had channeled his nervous energy into cooking, and he would be expected to try to eat everything his friend cooked for him when they got back. Which apparently was a lot.

Not that Naruto was happy to see the shitty _welcome home _mat or anything, but when he walked through the door and was practically choked to death by Haku's hug, he found he didn't particularly loathe the place as much as he did before. He was glad to see his friend, and surprised that Kakashi had allowed the visit again. Given that Haku was known by the serial killer, Zabuza must have pulled some heavy strings to get Haku cleared. But Naruto was grateful. He knew that Haku was feeling guilty that Naruto was involved at least in part due to what had happened to him, and would be feeling bad that Naruto had been injured. Naruto wanted to assure Haku that he was fine and the injuries were minor.

Haku looked Naruto over, his soft eyes filled with sadness as he took in Naruto's bruised face and the sling that held his left arm.

"Haku. I'm fine. Really. It was no big deal. I had worse injuries playing football. This will be healed in no time. It's not like what happened to you," Naruto said softly, wanting to reassure his friend.

Haku held his gaze for a minute, then nodded sharply. "I just… I just wish I'd killed him when I had the chance. Then you wouldn't even be here putting yourself at risk and none of this would have happened."

"Haku…" Naruto began, but Haku was already placing his hand on the small of Naruto's back and gently (but very firmly) marching him back to the futon and instructing him to sit while he got dinner ready.

"But-!" Naruto began, wanting to assure Haku that a small amount of activity was fine.

"Naruto, you don't need to be doing something _all _the time," Haku told him sternly, and Naruto gave a long, drawn out sigh as he settled into a comfortable position on the mattress. If Haku kept treating him like he was crippled, Naruto wasn't sure how he was supposed to reassure the man he was fine.

Apparently Haku had made a feast fit for kings out of nervousness, and it was Naruto's duty to not let his hard work go to waste. But he just felt so… urgh, _guilty _just lying around while other people were taking care of him. This was _worse _than standing out on the corner in the freezing cold, he thought.

After another minute passed, Naruto sat up. He could see Haku worrying, and couldn'ttake it. "I can already feel my shoulder getting better," He called from where he was, half-smiling, but was promptly ignored as Haku set _two _plates on the table. "I'm being serious," Naruto continued earnestly and stood up, "I'm healing really quickly, Haku! The doctor even said so. They reset my shoulder in the hospital, and it hardly hurts at all now compared to when it happened. Man, oh man, that food looks awesome! I'll be so much better after I eat your awesome cooking, Haku, I-Ow, fuck!"

Haku shook his head and sighed at the pained grunt. He walked over to where Naruto had tripped when he tried to get up too quickly, the painkillers still affecting his balance.

Haku came over and glared down at Naruto. "You know that pain meds always make you dizzy. You have to be more careful!"

"Don't be such a mom, Haku!" Naruto teased, knowing his friend always got annoyed by it. Haku narrowed his eyes dangerously. He latched onto both of Naruto's arms and pinned them to his sides, careful to not be too rough on Naruto's shoulder.

"Zabuza, do you mind handing me some duct tape? It's on the nightstand. Since I'm being a _mom, _as Naruto put it… He's _grounded._"

"Haku, wh-what are you doing?" Naruto stuttered nervously. He looked up at Haku with a sheepish smile, noticing a dark cloud seemed to be surfacing from above his head. "We can talk this out, okay?"

"I think it's too late for that, Naruto," Haku said sweetly, his smile stretching further when Zabuza placed the silver tape in his hand and pulled out a chair.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

_Thank god, _Naruto thought, thanking his lucky stars for the distraction.

Haku let go of Naruto's hands and seemed to pout like he was disappointed. Zabuza opened the door, only to reveal an annoyed-looking Sasuke who walked into the living room, eyes fixed on Naruto - who was in the process of rubbing his sore shoulder. Noting it was a clear indicator that he _moved it in a way he obviously wasn't supposed to. _

Sasuke took stalked to the futon and Naruto suddenly realized he might prefer Haku's alternative to incapacitate him then Sasuke's death glare. He sat up slowly.

"Naruto," Sasuke's voice fell flat, and Haku quickly disappeared from the room.

"Zabuza is taking me back to the safe house. He'll be back in an hour! Bye!"

The door slammed.

Naruto gulped. He would deal with Haku's betrayal later. "I could hear you from outside. Did you listen to a _word _my mother said in the hospital?"

"I'm tellin' you I'm fine," Naruto grumbled. "I just stumbled. This isn't that big of a deal."

"You're _not _fine," Sasuke snapped. "If you were fine, you wouldn't have ended up in the hospital. Instead of trying to prove a point dumbass, you can make everyone worry less if you stop moving around. That's what you were trying to do, right?" Sasuke asked him, the steel in his voice softening near the end, and Naruto said nothing for a while.

"I just...I hate being this useless," Naruto's fingers fisted his shirt. "I _hate _that I'm sitting here, eating and resting when there's a fucking _lunatic _out there maybe deciding who he's going to kill next now that I'm out of commission. How am I supposed to 'protect and serve' when my ass is parked on a fucking couch? A dislocated shoulder isn't a big deal, Sasuke. I've been almost strangled, stabbed, and _shot _several times in the past. Why the hell am I wasting time when I could be out there, doing my fucking job, hurt shoulder or not."

Sasuke's gut twisted at Naruto's calm recital of all the injuries that had happened to him on the job.

He supposed it was something he was going to have to get used to if he and Naruto were going to have a relationship. He sighed, and to Naruto's surprise he sat down on the futon and pulled Naruto against him.

The memory of how badly Naruto had been injured flooded through Sasuke again, and he brushed a kiss across Naruto's forehead. "You're not wasting time… You know how the killer operates, idiot. He isn't going to change his whole routine just because you got hurt. If he's marked you, he won't care at this point if you're home or working the corner. He'll wait. And remember, you're not doing this alone. You have an entire team working this with you. It's not all on your shoulders, Uzumaki," Sasuke slanted a glance at him, deciding he still didn't like the depressed look on his blond's face. He'd always been adept at getting a rise out of Naruto. "You're getting pretty full of yourself."

Rather than getting annoyed, Naruto felt himself relaxing at the teasing tone and couldn't help but reply, "What, you're wishing I was getting full of something else?"

He felt Sasuke freeze, then heard the low, husky laugh. The sound of it coming from Sasuke's throat sent a shiver through Naruto, and suddenly he wasn't joking anymore.

Sasuke brushed a strand of hair behind his ear, and Naruto turned, giving Sasuke a questioning look at the gesture before Sasuke leaned in, settling his lips gently over Naruto's bruised ones.

Naruto closed his eyes, trying to focus just on the kiss and not on all the concerns he had about how bad his face looked with the bruises or whether what was happening between him and Sasuke would last or was simply a passing thing.

He needed more. Naruto deepened the kiss, wrapping his hand around Sasuke's neck to pull him closer. Sasuke complied at first, then pulled back, his eyes looking troubled rather than lust-filled.

Naruto felt his doubts surface. Maybe… maybe Sasuke was only attracted to him when he was in drag. Maybe it wasn't really _him_ that Sasuke was attracted to. Sasuke hadn't seemed that interested before this whole thing had happened, actually. At least not sexually. Naruto suddenly wondered if - when Sasuke was kissing him - was he thinking of the real Naruto, or the Naruto who was dressed like a girl? Would Sasuke ever have felt this way about him if he hadn't been in drag?

"What's with that face, Dobe?" Sasuke asked, rubbing his finger between Naruto's brows where a slight worry crease had formed.

Naruto shrugged, pulling further away and looking off to the side. It sounded stupid to say '_I'm worried because you don't seem to get horny unless I'm in a skirt_'. But Sasuke's eyes were pinning him down, and he knew he had to say something.

"Nothing. I'm just… you know… I have a lot to think about."

Sasuke nodded slowly, but frowned. It was obvious that Naruto was holding something back.

"Anything in particular on your list of worries?" Sasuke put his hand on the back of Naruto's neck and began massaging the tense muscles there, but Naruto shifted slightly, breaking the contact.

"Well, you know. The usual. Catching serial killers, sore shoulder, making out with guys while wearing a skirt."

Something in Naruto's voice drew Sasuke's attention to the last one. "Making out with… _guys_?"

Naruto didn't look at him, his gaze focused instead at a small dust bunny that was drifting in slow circles in front of the heat vent. "Yeah. You know. This thing… with us. I mean… it all started because I was wearing a skirt, right?"

Sasuke stared at him for a minute, trying to figured out what Naruto was trying to tell him. Or ask him. "So… you think that none of this would have happened if you hadn't been dressed like a girl?"

Naruto hummed slightly, looking embarrassed, picking at a stray thread on the edge of the futon.

A slow smirk spread on Sasuke's face as he leaned closer, sliding his hand over the soft fabric of the thin shirt that Naruto was wearing and tracing a finger over one of Naruto's pectorals. He let the nail scrape lightly on the nipple. Naruto watched in fascination as he felt his nipple harden into a tight bud at the contact. "This is definitely not a woman's chest," Sasuke said slowly, letting his hand continue a lazy path down to the hem of Naruto's shirt then sliding it under to directly touch the heated flesh of Naruto's washboard stomach. He traced the swirl of the tattoo with his finger.

"And this is definitely not a woman's stomach," Sasuke's voice had grown husky, and Naruto felt the lids of his eyes lower slightly as heat began to coil deliciously through his core.

Sasuke leaned in closer, so that his lips ghosted against Naruto's ear. "And this…" Sasuke said, his hand inching lower to where Naruto's erection was now painfully tenting in his jeans. "... is definitely… not… a woman's."

Naruto's head fell back and he bit back a groan as Sasuke's fingers finally closed around his shaft.

"Oh, god, Sasuke…" Naruto said, the scent of Sasuke's shampoo and the heat of his body making Naruto want nothing more than to rip Sasuke's clothes off and…

His brain shut down at the "and", because Sasuke was kissing him, and Naruto was kissing back, and before he could process what was happening Sasuke had pressed him down onto the futon and the full evidence of Sasuke's desire for him... the male Naruto… the real Naruto… was thrusting forcefully against his own aching erection.

Sasuke shuddered as he felt Naruto's fingers twist into his hair. As hot as Naruto had looked in leather, somehow this was so much better. Because this was the version of Naruto that Sasuke had been fantasizing about since he was thirteen. Naruto's hands slid down from Sasuke's hair to grab his ass and press their erections more forcefully together, intensifying the friction to an almost painful level.

Sasuke's eyes almost rolled back in his head and he had to clench his muscles to keep from cumming. "Naruto..._fuck_!" He hissed. He could feel Naruto's fingers undoing the fastenings of his trousers. In the back of his mind he realized that things were probably going too fast considering that Naruto was in the hospital less than three hours ago, but there was simply no way he could stop. He would try to keep it from going too far, but Sasuke had to have more right now. Even Uchihas had their limits of self-control.

"Sasuke," Naruto panted as he struggled to get Sasuke's pants down. Understanding the request, Sasuke stood and quickly stripped off his shirt and kicked off his pants. Naruto's gaze darkened, and when Sasuke moved to return to his original position on top of Naruto, the blond stopped him, laying his hand on Sasuke's chest.

"I want to… look at you," Naruto said, his voice coming out low and winded.

Sasuke was in general completely confident in his looks. But standing naked and painfully aroused in front of the person he'd been fantasizing about his whole life was something different entirely.

Naruto slowly stood, tracing his fingers along the toned contours of Sasuke's torso, starting with his chest then circling around behind him to run his fingers lightly over the blades of Sasuke's shoulders and ridges of his back muscles.

Sasuke's eyes drifted closed as he felt Naruto's breath brush against the back of his neck, and then tan lips were nuzzling into the base of his neck.

"Sasuke," Naruto whispered against the pale flesh. "You are so fucking perfect."

At that point, Sasuke lost control of all brain functions. Naruto found himself flat on his back on the futon

Naruto winced as the sudden motion pulled on his shoulder, and Sasuke froze. "Sorry…" Sasuke panted, forcing himself to stop and resting his forehead against Naruto's. "God, you make me… Shit, Naruto. You have no idea how much I…"

Naruto's laugh was low and husky, and Sasuke had to close his eyes and focus every ounce of strength on holding himself back from fucking the injured blond into the mattress at the sound of it. "So… it wasn't just the skirt then?" Naruto asked teasingly.

Sasuke emitted a low growl, sneering. "You're pushing it, Uzumaki. If you hadn't just gotten out of the hospital I would be currently showing you just _exactly_ how little your choice of clothing has _anything_ to do with what I have in mind for you," His voice dropped even lower and he traced his tongue along the edge of Naruto's jaw. "Actually, I've decided I prefer you without any clothes at all."

Naruto swallowed. _Oh, shit._

He fervently wished he had magical healing abilities that would make his injury disappear in the next three seconds. But…

Naruto gasped as he felt Sasuke fingers undo the fastenings of Naruto's jeans, relieving some of the pressure on his erection.

"Sasuke…" Naruto bit his lip, wanting this so much but not really sure he was in any condition to participate. "You don't…"

"Let me take care of you, Naruto," Sasuke murmured, dipping his head down and flicking his tongue along the slit of Naruto's now exposed cock, tasting the wetness of the precum that was pearling there. "Just relax."

Naruto's fingers dug into the mattress of the futon, and he fought to keep himself from thrusting up into Sasuke's mouth. "Oh, _fuck_...Sasuke," Naruto gasped, closing his eyes as Sasuke's hot breath fanned against his length.

"That's right, Naruto," Sasuke continued to say huskily, his mouth pressed right against the tip. "God, I love hearing you say my name like that..."

Then Sasuke swirled his tongue and took Naruto deep into his throat, ignoring his own throbbing erection. Tonight was about Naruto.

Sasuke heard Naruto's voice calling out to him over and over again, and felt his tan fingers entwining in his dark locks. Sasuke's name on his lips was _sin, _and he could listen to it foreveras Naruto arched up and came _hard_ as Sasuke continued to suck until every last tremor had passed from Naruto's body.

Sasuke reached up to stroke Naruto's hair as he watched the blond come back down to earth, his chest feeling oddly achy and tight. Sasuke swallowed, and Naruto tried to suppress a shiver.

"Sasuke...?" Naruto asked after a few minutes, his eyes darting down to where Sasuke's erection was still proudly visible. "What...about you?" He said breathlessly.

Sasuke smirked, pulling on his pants. "I'm fine. When this is over, believe me," Sasuke leaned down, his voice low in Naruto's ear. "I have plenty of plans that will definitely involve your _active_ participation."

Naruto swallowed convulsively, wondering if it were possible that he was getting hard again already.

"I could…" Naruto began, but Sasuke silenced him with a quick kiss.

Resignedly, Naruto sat up, watching Sasuke finish dressing. His eyes drifted over to the kitchen.

"Sasuke."

"Hm..?"

"We forgot to eat Haku's food."

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_Till next time!_

_Happy Holidays guys!_


	13. Chapter 13 - Counting Sheep

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana do not own Naruto.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **Happy Holidays! Since we started this fic, things are sure moving along aren't they?

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13 - Counting Sheep<strong>

* * *

><p>Naruto was feeling nervous. They were closing in on the deadline when the killer usually made his move, and so far there had been no sign that he had succeeded in capturing the man's interest.<p>

What was this guy thinking? Had he chosen another target? Or was Naruto never in his sights to begin with? Naruto just couldn't tell and it was making him crazy. But there was nothing else he could do. There were other streets where there were hookers. The killer had already paid a visit to two of them, and Zabuza said that the guy's profile made it unlikely that he would strike the same place twice.

But what if he did? What if Naruto hadn't been interesting enough to capture his attention? Or worse, what if the killer moved to another city and they'd lost their chance to get him altogether?

On top of it all, it had been five days since he'd been able to see Sasuke from their last mind-blowing encounter. Well, four days, twenty-three hours, and fifteen minutes. Give-or-take. Not that Naruto was counting or anything. Naruto knew he needed to focus, but it was difficult sometimes to keep his mind from wandering when nothing seemed to be happening around him. And thinking back to what had happened the last time he had seen Sasuke…. Naruto drew a breath. His shoulder was a lot better now. And Sasuke had said…. Naruto shook his head, forcing himself to focus. This was not the time.

Kakashi was on site daily now, as was Itachi.

Everyone was feeling the pressure.

He had spoken with Zabuza and the Captain about trying to find ways to make himself even more of an easy target. Zabuza had suggested that Naruto spend time talking to one of the meth dealers that worked an alley across the street. It was the ideal spot for an abduction, because the alley was narrow and dark but open to the street on both ends making the getaway prospects easier. They were trying every option, but it had been several days now and there had been absolutely no sign of their target.

Naruto wasn't the only one getting anxious. Sai checked in with the Vice squad to find out if any of the prostitutes from other areas of the city had been reported missing, and surveillance across all active areas of prostitution had been tripled. The entire thing was eerie, like the calm before a raging storm. And while Naruto wasn't a weatherman, he found he needed to train himself to be in the hopes of predicting the seemingly unpredictable.

Naruto's eyebrows rose as he saw a familiar Lincoln turn into the street.

"_Naruto… we are out of options. We are trying everything right now to get this guy's attention. Itachi asked Sasuke to come and help out for the next couple of days."_

Naruto stood absolutely still as Sasuke's familiar car pulled to a stop just in front of the alley where Naruto was standing. Slowly, Naruto walked forward, not sure what he felt except that he desperately wanted to see Sasuke again, but at the same time wanted him as far as possible from the danger that was about to go down.

Sasuke rolled the window down, his face serious, clearly reading Naruto's hesitation at his involvement. "Get in."

Naruto froze for a second, then nodded - aware that they could still be overheard. He walked around to the passenger side and climbed in, closing the door behind him.

"Itachi said you are almost out of time, and that the killer will likely take his next target within the next three days if he stays on schedule."

Naruto nodded tightly, his lips pressed in a tight line of stress.

"_Ok, boys. You know the drill_," Kakashi's voice said leisurely from inside. "_I'm turning off the recording and monitoring for now. We'll still be able to notify you if we see anything suspicious, so don't take your ear-pieces off_."

"_But what's the fun in that_?" Sai piped up through their ear pieces.

There was an ominous silence, then the sound of Sai clearing his throat. "_Hey, Sasuke. Your brother is really very scary. Did you ever notice that?_"

And with that, the radio contact was turned off.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other for a moment. Nothing like being told to perform sexual acts 'on demand' with the person you've been fantasizing about for the past five days in the hopes that a serial killer was watching. Naruto didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. It was so messed up.

"Uh, so…" Naruto started awkwardly, his eyes darting to the large back seat of Sasuke's car.

Sasuke slowly unbuckled his seatbelt. "We just have to make it look good, remember? It's not like we have to fuck in the back."

Naruto laughed slightly, then sucked in a breath It was for a good cause after all, and… he did sort of owe Sasuke from the last time. He might as well make the best of it, since 'dinner and a movie' weren't exactly available options at the moment. "So… what do you want, then?"

Sasuke's eyebrows rose up. "What?"

Naruto let his lids fall slightly. He trusted Itachi to make sure that this was in fact not being recorded or monitored. He'd been thinking about Sasuke for weeks now, and they were about as alone as they were going to get in the near future. Maybe they could have a little fun with it. "I said…." Naruto lowered his voice as he leaned forward, placing one hand on Sasuke's thigh with his lips lightly resting against Sasuke's ear. He could feel the hard muscle jump beneath his fingers. "... what would you like today?"

Sasuke's eyes snapped to meet Naruto's.

There were a lot of things he _wanted. _Many, many things. In many, many ways. But not while his brother and bunch of cops were watching.

Sasuke unconsciously licked his lips as Naruto's hand slid further up his thigh, feeling his cock instantly straining against his zipper. Suddenly he was feeling decidedly less nervous, and definitely more horny. The idea of fucking Naruto in his back seat for real flashed across his mind, but Sasuke wasn't looking forward to the conversation that would likely ensue when it resulted in Naruto being unable to perform his job. If he did what he wanted, Naruto would have more than a little trouble walking for a bit. That option had to be off limits. For now.

As he gazed into Naruto's blue eyes, he noticed that there wasn't a hint of insecurity. But… there were many other things… Sasuke's eyes narrowed, trying to remind himself that they were still under surveillance.

"Naruto," Sasuke needed to remain composed, trying to keep his voice even. He steeled his face into an indecipherable mask, "Are you up to physical activity with your shoulder?"

Naruto stroked Sasuke's thigh suggestively, nodding his head once. "Yeah. I mean… Like you said, Sasuke… It isn't like we're going to go at it in the back seat or anything. Unless you _really_ want to put on a show, bastard." He grinned, cocking his head to the side.

Sasuke felt his dick jump at the mere mention of doing so, quickly realizing that Naruto must have been thinking about it too. He raised an eyebrow. "Are you offering? I have to say… I'm a little bit curious as to what you might have learned on this assignment." He gave Naruto a slow smile. He had meant it to come off as a taunt. A joke. He had assumed they would basically repeat what happened last time. But the look in Naruto's eyes had him suddenly realizing this could get out of control very quickly.

"Oh?" Naruto couldn't keep the amusement out of his voice. He felt himself get even more aroused as he slid his hand up to slowly palm Sasuke's crotch, rubbing the fabric back and forth in a torturously slow motion. "... You want me to show you? If that's the case, I hope you're willing to pay the right price."

Sasuke sucked in a breath through his teeth at the touch, his hands clenching on the steering wheel to keep from grabbing Naruto's hair and showing him what he'd much rather have the young officer doing with his mouth rather than taunting him. Somehow the position he found himself in was eerily familiar to the first time. Sasuke looked into Naruto's blue eyes, and saw them darken with lust. There was one key difference this time. This time, he knew that Naruto wanted him almost as much as Sasuke wanted Naruto.

"Hn. What's the going rate on this block… fifty a throw? I'm pretty sure I'm good for it. Who knows. Play your cards right, and you might even earn a tip...Uzumaki." Sasuke took his hands off the wheel of the car to slide his fingers up the side of Naruto's throat, letting them tangle in the blond hair. He hesitated a second, waiting to see what Naruto's response would be.

Naruto leaned in to brush his lips against Sasuke's in a chaste kiss. It was purposely similar to the one Naruto gave him last time in Sasuke's Lincoln, but his lips curved upwards, taunting him as though Sasuke would be satisfied with just that.

Sasuke smiled darkly against the gentle touch of Naruto's mouth. "Oh, no, Uzumaki. Not this time." He tightened his grip and crushed their mouths together, thrusting his tongue into Naruto's mouth and using his other hand to slide down over Naruto's ass then between his legs to cup the erection he felt starting to form under the leather skirt.

Naruto groaned into Sasuke's mouth, kissing him back with enough force to bruise as he slid his fingers into the dark tresses of his boyfriend's hair, tugging on them lightly. Pulling away to gasp, he quickly placed his hands on Sasuke's chest in a motion to get him to stop. "No, you're not in control here," Naruto said breathlessly, biting his lip. Like hell was Sasuke going to sweep him away like this AGAIN. This was his case. And Sasuke was _his _client. Tonight it was Naruto's turn.

Sasuke smirked. "Then feel free to take charge. You're the professional. Show me what you've got, Uzumaki."

"Can you handle what I've got, Uchiha?"

Sasuke's hands roughly squeezed Naruto's ass, gracing him with that usual, arrogantly raised brow.

"Hn. I should be asking you that, Naruto," Sasuke looked pointedly at the impressive erection that was tenting in his dress pants.

At the challenge, Naruto didn't respond. Instead, he reached over to Sasuke's seat and pulled the small mechanism that had him reclining back. He moved over Sasuke, straddling him, with his fingers tracing lightly over the tag of the zipper of Sasuke's pants. "I don't know, Sasuke…" Naruto teased, "If it's anything like the first time, this might not take long "

Sasuke flushed, half-glaring at him. "You took me by surprise last time, Dobe. This time you'll have to earn your money."

"I thought you Uchiha's were always ready for anything."

"That's the Boy Scouts," Sasuke sneered, leaning in and running his tongue along the shell of Naruto's ear. "And if you know nothing else about me, Na-ru-to, it's that I'm not a fucking Boy Scout. You were the 'nice one' in school, remember?" His voice had lowered to almost a purr by the end. "Though…" He trailed off, letting his eyes run over Naruto's un-holy attire. Dressed like that, Naruto would make even a priest break celibacy.

"Am I being a good boy right now, Sasuke?" Naruto murmured, tracing a circle with the pad of his fingertip against the other's naval.

Sasuke slid his hands along Naruto's back, firmly cupping a cheek before grabbing Naruto's hand and placing it on his painfully hard dick. "There is no way a good boy would drive me to _this_," he said, squeezing Naruto's hand tighter around his erection. "Ngh, Naruto, you have no idea…" Sasuke bit his cheek to keep from telling Naruto all the things he wanted to do to him since high school. Naruto hadn't been open to 'male relations' that long, and Sasuke didn't want to scare him away. Though if Naruto kept looking up at him through his lashes and rubbing his cock, Sasuke was not going to be accountable for his actions.

Naruto gave a low, husky laugh. "I think I have a pretty good idea, actually…" He said as he gripped the hem of Sasuke's pants. "I've had a good tutor so far. Lift your hips for me, Sasuke."

Sasuke froze, his mind completely blank. Holy shit, this was really going to happen. And, god, did he want it to. Naruto seriously going to… he felt Naruto drop between his legs to the floor of the car before giving an impatient tug on his pants. He pulled them down without any assistance on Sasuke's part. Sasuke thought he might have heard a seam rip, but as his erection sprang free, inches from Naruto's mouth, he really didn't care if Naruto threw his pants on the roof and lit them on fire, as long as he carried through with what Sasuke thought was about to happen.

"You know… most people wouldn't take that long to pull their pants down. Unless you didn't hear me," Naruto mocked, blowing a small puff of air against the head of Sasuke's hardened length. "But… Uh…" Suddenly Naruto's throat went dry. As confident as he was trying to be, this was the first time he ever took another man's cock into his mouth. It was funny how this situation would have never crossed his mind a month ago. But now… Naruto ran his tongue along his lower lip. He was definitely looking forward to it. Especially to finding out what sounds and expressions he might be able to drive from his usually stoic and controlled rival.

Sasuke didn't think he was breathing. In fact, he wasn't sure if any part of his body was currently functioning except for his dick, which was throbbing, and his heart, which was racing. Certainly his brain had ceased to operate as soon as Naruto had unzipped his pants.

Letting his index finger gently slide from the base of the shaft to the tip experimentally, Naruto wondered how he should do this. Naruto knew what he liked. He had certainly never given a blowjob before, but he had enjoyed being on the receiving end of some. He guessed he should just do what came naturally? Wetting his lips again, Naruto hesitantly pressed his mouth against the head, trying to mimic what Sasuke did to him when he was injured, as well as things he remembered enjoying on other occasions himself.

Sasuke's hips flexed involuntarily, and he bit back a groan. He tried to think about something that would prevent him from embarrassing himself a second time by cumming in under a minute. The thought of Itachi's scathing assessment of his performance gave him back enough control that he was able to run his fingers through Naruto's hair, murmuring encouragement as the blond began to slowly draw Sasuke's head into his mouth.

"_Ngh_, Naruto, yes...that's it," Sasuke hissed out.

Naruto felt another hot blush creep onto his cheeks at the whispers of approval. He flicked his tongue against the slit, finding that the taste actually wasn't as unpleasant as he had expected, given the big deal that people made about 'spit or swallow'. Feeling a little more comfortable, Naruto started to take in a little more of Sasuke's dick. He relaxed his jaw to accommodate the other's size, though it was kind of hard trying to breathe through his nose as he began to bob his head slowly.

"Mmh…" Naruto closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on his task.

Sasuke tilted his head back and groaned as the vibrations of Naruto's voice were transmitted to his cock. He saw Naruto's eyes light with smug satisfaction at his response and he felt his balls tighten at the look. He had to exert all his self-control to continue to allow Naruto to set the pace rather than just grab his hair and fuck his perfect mouth. "You look smug now, but you just fucking wait until we're not surrounded by cops and your shoulder is fully healed. God, Naruto, I'm going to… " Sasuke panted out as Naruto set an easy rhythm. Naruto arched an eyebrow, clearly daring Sasuke to finish his statement. He briefly pulled his mouth away with a pop, only to run his tongue up and down Sasuke's rigid member, his hand pumping Sasuke slowly as he did so.

Naruto wrapped around the length and twisted at the base while he began using his tongue more creatively.

"Yeah? You said that last time, too. Tell me all about… what you're going to do to me…" Naruto found himself provoking, realizing that hearing Sasuke so unhinged was turning him on even more. Sasuke groaned, his hips flexing up. Determined to make him lose even more control, Naruto took Sasuke into his mouth again as deep as it could go. Naruto willed away the urge to gag, forcing his throat to relax as he took Sasuke deeper, almost to the base, picking up suction.

Sasuke's earlier hesitation to hold back because of Naruto's inexperience with men disintegrated, as every fibre in his being focused on where Naruto's surprisingly talented mouth was joined with his body between his thighs.

"_Shit…_" Sasuke didn't think it was humanly possible for him to get any harder. If that's what Naruto wanted to hear, he was more than happy to comply. "When this investigation is all over, I'm going to take you to my bed. I am going to strip you, and lick every inch of your fucking skin..." Sasuke's voice was low and rough. Just the thought of what he would do with the blond beneath him had him fighting another rising climax. Sasuke spread his legs wider and let his head fall back, his fingers tightening almost painfully in Naruto's hair as he felt the head of his cock press against the back of Naruto's throat, the blond's muscles closing reflexively around it. Sasuke shuddered at the intense pleasure of the sensation. "I want… to spread you apart, lick your length, slide my tongue inside you…. then… I want to fuck you… for hours… making you cum over and over… until you can't even remember your name …Would you like that, Naruto?"

Naruto moaned as Sasuke's words filled him with images of just what exactly that would be like with Sasuke. While Naruto hated relinquishing control, he was tempted to let Sasuke fuck him right now. In the back seat. Regardless of who might be watching. Sasuke's words had seared those images in his mind, and he wanted to make them a reality. If only his goddamned shoulder wasn't jacked up, then they could… Naruto tried not to think about it, only wanting to concentrate on getting Sasuke off. But at this rate, he might be the one climaxing first if Sasuke kept talking that way.

Sasuke released his hold on Naruto's hair, only to slide a palm to his cheek. "I've always wanted to see you like this…" A thumb gently caressed tanned skin, sliding down to curl around the erection straining between Naruto's legs "...Hard for me… so fucking sexy…. Greedily lapping at my cock..._fuck, _Naruto…That's good, take me in as far as you can..."

Encouraged, Naruto took Sasuke further into his mouth and picked up the pace with long, hard sucks. After a few rough thrusts he could feel Sasuke pivoting closer to the edge, and his own cock painfully straining against the fabric of his skirt, "_Naruto, I'm.._" Sasuke groaned, a warning that he was close to release. But instead of pulling away, Naruto found that he _wanted _to taste it.

He spurred his rival on, continuing to suck and using his hands to roll Sasuke's balls as they tightened and the muscles under Sasuke's shirt spasmed. Naruto's alluring blue eyes looked at Sasuke the entire time, and Sasuke couldn't hold back. He released into Naruto's warm mouth, shooting his load into the back of Naruto's throat with a look that made the young officer cum instantly.

Sasuke's face was _breath-taking._

Naruto felt a little twist in his heart at the sight.

Sasuke's black bangs were damp with sweat, sticking to his forehead, and Naruto watched in fascination as Sasuke's face twisted into the sexiest expression he's ever seen. His usually pale face was flushed. His lips were slightly parted as he gave a few more deep thrusts, riding out his orgasm. Naruto continued to suck as the warm liquid went into his mouth, then Sasuke pulled out, the final spurts of cum hitting Naruto's lips and cheek. Sasuke's eye drifted closed as he slumped back into the seat, bathing in his the afterglow of his climax.

Naruto shuddered as he watched Sasuke, wanting to imprint the image in his mind. If he hadn't just finished cumming, the sight alone would have made him cum again. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of watching Sasuke's descent into euphoria. Watching him shatter in climax.

As his chest heaved from his own release, Naruto closed his eyes, feeling the taste of Sasuke's cum on his tongue, savoring the moment if not the actual taste. Opening his eyes and seeing Sasuke's eyes darken as Naruto licked some of the cum off his lips, he decided that it was definitely worth it.

Naruto then pressed a gentle kiss to Sasuke's palm, grinning up at him through partially damp tufts of blond hair. "How was that?"

Sasuke didn't say anything. Instead, he gently cupped Naruto's face and brought him up from the floor into a deep kiss. Naruto responded, opening his mouth, knowing Sasuke could taste himself on his tongue, and wondering what Sasuke thought about it.

He looked down at himself, then rolled his eyes. "I can't believe I came without even touching myself. Holy hell, Sasuke."

Sasuke smirked. And thanked god he wasn't the only one drowning in whatever this was between them.

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><p>After getting out of Sasuke's car and parading the street corner for four long hours, Naruto was finally able to come back to their apartment.<p>

He kicked off his heels, then made to quickly strip of his hooker clothes into a comfortable pair of cotton teal boxers, too tired to bother with anything else but a warm blanket. His feet didn't even recognize he was in pain anymore. At this point, when Naruto put the studded footwear of death on, it triggered a trauma-induced numbness that made it so he could probably sprint a mile in them without much discomfort. And he didn't know if he should be thankful for that or worried. Though it would give him another excuse to visit Mrs. Uchiha at the hospital.

Naruto yawned as he proceeded to climb in bed and doze off. Zabuza's jacket was gone, and on the living room counter there was a note saying he had gone out to get something. Naruto snorted. He suspected it was to go out and get some of Haku's ass, but he didn't mind. It was clear that those two were getting increasingly serious about each other, and Naruto was glad for his friend. Whatever he might have felt about Zabuza's personality, the guy was a good cop and treated Haku like gold, so that's all that mattered.

Naruto felt himself drifting off to sleep, buried in the blankets and finally feeling warm.

It was sometime later that he woke to the sound of someone moving quietly around the apartment. He assumed it was Zabuza coming back from Haku's, trying for once to be considerate and not wake Naruto up. That sure was a first.

Naruto frowned as he realized that the footsteps were approaching where he was sleeping. Then he heard them come to a stop right near his head. "Zabuza?" Naruto asked groggily. "Is everything ok?"

"Oh, everything is just fine, now," Naruto's eyes flew open. He started to sit up when he heard the voice. It wasn't Zabuza. But the voice _did _sound familiar. It took only a second for it to register who it was, but it was already too late.

There was a sharp pain as he felt a needle jab into his neck.

Naruto's hand drifted almost in slow motion to his throat where it was punctured. His body already numbing as it crumpled back onto the mattress. An unknown hand pressed against his mouth, gently tracing his lips and running smoothly down the column of his throat. His body felt heavy like lead, and despite his efforts to prevent it, his eyes slowly began to close.

"Shhh...Shh, shh, shh…." The voice cooed, "Go right back to sleep..."

Then everything went black.

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><p>Zabuza ran up the steps to the apartment. He had just heard from Kakashi that the body of Kakuzu had been found dismembered in an alley not far from the courthouse where he had made bail that morning. There was only one reason that the serial killer would have targeted him. Because the killer had already picked Naruto as his next victim. The police weren't sure if there was a connection between Kakuzu and the killer, but Zabuza didn't care at that point.<p>

When he finally got there, Itachi was already standing in the living room and flipping his phone closed, his face grim. Zabuza noticed the splintered door frame where Itachi had obviously kicked it in when he had arrived. He felt his blood freeze as he took in the implications of why Itachi would have had to kick the door down instead of simply waiting for Naruto to answer.

"Naruto...where is he?" Zabuza asked, already knowing the reply he would get.

"Gone," Itachi stated grimly, and Zabuza felt a sick dread in his stomach as the reality of it sunk in. That he was responsible. That he had jeopardized the safety of a young officer in his charge because he'd became distracted. He shouldn't have left Naruto by himself, not even for a fucking second.

Itachi glanced at the messy futon and a needle discarded near the mattress. He knew it was not a mistake. It was left as a message… a sort of 'middle finger' to Itachi and Zabuza for their carelessness. They would not find fingerprints on the syringe, but forensics would check anyway. He was not looking forward to informing his little brother that Naruto had gone missing on his watch. They had foolishly focused most of their surveillance efforts on the street, since that was where all of the other abductions had happened. But the killer's pattern was evolving. He had taken them by surprise.

Itachi had assumed that Zabuza had been watch that evening, and Itachi had not been monitoring the apartment. He had been researching the other killings instead, looking for clues to the man's identity. When he had heard the report come in over the police scanner about the body discovered of the man just released from bail, he had immediately come to check on Naruto. But it was too late.

Zabuza stepped back as the man in front of him seemed to exude killing intent.

"We have three days to find him," Itachi said coldly, telling Zabuza what they already knew from reading the case files on the other victims. The killer kept his prisoners alive for three days, though Itachi was quite sure that all of the victims would have preferred a much quicker death given what autopsy confirmed was done to them over those 72 hours. For now he would have to shove down the knowledge of what was done to them during those three days to focus on finding Naruto.

Naruto was strong.

He would survive.

Itachi would just make sure that Sasuke did, too.

He looked at his watch. Naruto's bed had still been warm when he had arrived, meaning Naruto had been missing for less than an hour when he had arrived. That meant there were roughly seventy-one hours left to find him.

"The clock starts now."

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><p><em>xXx<em>

_Enjoy your week, everyone!_


	14. Chapter 14 - It Doesn't Rain, It Pours

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana do not own Naruto.

**Warnings:** Disturbing content ahead and violence ahead.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Even though we didn't post on Christmas, here's an after Christmas gift! We hope you like the chapter, though I'm afraid some of you maybe be cursing us out in your heads or shaking the screen. Come on guys! We know what we're doing, _trust _us. Just trust us. This will all have a resolution. So we hope you bear through it! Kizu and I are definitely _not _laughing.

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><p><strong>Chapter 14 - It Doesn't Rain, It Pours<strong>

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><p><strong>Two hours missing<strong>

"He's _what?_" Kiba's shout made Zabuza flinch. And not because of the volume, but because of the emotion that seemed to whip from the man's throat when he arrived at the station and heard the news. They were in the situation room. Zabuza said nothing, only holding Kiba's gaze as Kiba advanced on him.

"How could this happen?" Kiba growled. "How could this have happened, huh? We knew he was bait for a fucking psycho killer, right? Everyone fucking knew that. So why the FUCK was he left alone when that was your GODDAMN job? You were supposed to protect him! HOW DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!"

Kakashi put a hand on Kiba's shoulder, but the young man flung it off. "Fuck you! Fuck you!" His voice cracked as he choked back sob. "What are we going to do? What the FUCK do we do now?"

Kakashi exhaled sharply. He remained unflinching despite Kiba's near fatal glare boring into him. "We have our best people trying to find Officer Uzumaki. We'll regroup in three hours and debrief on what we know so far. Zabuza will hand out assignments. Inuzuka, you can help him follow up with interviewing the neighbors and anyone else in the area who might have seen anything."

"Three hours?" Kiba snapped, his hands balling at his sides. "We don't have a goddamn _minute_ Captain. In an hour Naruto could be floating down some fucking stream all because THIS ASSHOLE didn't watch him."

"We're moving as fast as we can, Officer Inuzuka. I realize that he is your friend. He is important to all of us in the department, but running around blind without a plan wouldn't be helping anyone, especially Naruto."

Zabuza stepped forward, and Kiba scowled at the action, his eyes daggers. "It is my fault. I was supposed to be with him. I'm the one who left him alone."

Kiba's fist connected with the older man's face before he had a chance to say more. Zabuza didn't even try to dodge it. Instead he stumbled back, watching Kiba shakily breathe in and out, cursing under his breath. "I swear, if we didn't need your help finding Naruto I would fucking kill you."

Itachi walked into the room. "Playtime's over. We need to focus on finding Naruto. We have three days. You've all read the case files. You know that the longer we take to find him, the worse it will get." Itachi looked to Kakashi. "Tell me what you need. My agency will provide whatever information or resources to this investigation."

Kakashi raised his eyebrows. "Why are you willing to go so far in helping this case?"

"Because I don't want to have to tell my little brother that I lost Naruto," Itachi said. "Or what is going to happen to him if we don't find him within the next few hours."

Kakashi looked at the clock. The Chief wouldn't be in for a few hours. He knew his boss would pull the plug on an unsanctioned collaboration on something so high profile, but Kakashi knew that it was their best chance to find anything. He would work with Itachi until he was directly ordered not to. And by then, hopefully enough information would be exchanged that both teams would have a head start.

* * *

><p><strong>Five hours missing<strong>

It was cold.

That was the first thing Naruto felt as he came to on a damp cement floor, propped up against something hard.

He slowly opened his blurry blue eyes to find that he was greeted by complete darkness. Thinking he might have still been drowsy from the after effects of the drug, Naruto blinked rapidly to stave it off. It was no use. Naruto tried to squint through the pitch black. He still couldn't see a damn thing, which could only mean there were no windows in his room. And that wasn't good. He wouldn't know how much time passed since he was taken, and given that the killer had a schedule he usually stuck to, having a sense of time would be critical.

Naruto shakily drew in an anxious breath of cold, damp air. He'd been in and out of consciousness since he was taken, remembering only being in a car and then on the freeway before he woke up here. His hands were bound behind his back with a zip tie, and his legs were completely unresponsive from having something injected in them. Naruto tried to breathe in again and calmly assess the situation. Because he was no longer a hooker, but a cop. And if he wanted to make it out of this, panicking wouldn't help.

First, he needed to figure out where he was. His bound hands brushed against that firm material he felt earlier from behind him. It felt like he was reclined against some cardboard boxes. Warehouse? Or storage room? There were plenty of warehouses in town. Hundreds actually. Naruto started to feel the beginnings of panic flow through him, trying to look for a better clue. If he knew the area then it would be easier to form an escape plan. But if the killer had taken him somewhere further away… or another town entirely then…

Naruto swallowed. No, he couldn't think about that. He needed to concentrate. If he had some light he could make out some of the lettering on the boxes. It could have a shipping address, or even a company logo. From there, Naruto could map in his head of where he was, and if there was likely to be help nearby. Of course, first he'd figure out how to get out of his binds.

He was squinting through the dark trying to make out anything about his surroundings when he heard the sound of a heavy door being forced open. Naruto went completely still as light fell through the crack in the door, and the dark silhouette of his captor emerged from its glow.

"Collecting you was more fucking trouble than the others. But…" The man looked at him with eyes lit with madness. "... I am quite certain you will be worth it. I'm glad to see you are awake. I would imagine you might have a few questions about why you are here."

Naruto swallowed, taking in the image of the one they've been trying to stop. He hadn't paid as much attention to the man the first time he'd seen him. But he recognized the delivery man who had stopped to chat with him days ago. He wished he'd listened more to his instincts then that had told him there was something off about the guy. But it was too late for second guesses now.

When the man switched on the light in the room, Naruto was able to see he had distinctive purple eyes and was similar to Haku's description with grey, slicked back hair, and a medium build. The man's expression was one of almost giddy accomplishment. Like a kid bringing home straight A's on his report card. The guy was crazy. Naruto knew he needed to tread lightly. "I have a feeling you're about to tell me that."

The man looked at him, a frown forming on his previously pleased face. "Usually, my sacrifices show a bit more fucking interest in their final hours."

"But that's why I'm special, right?" Naruto stated grimly, narrowing his eyes at the other.

The killer walked slowly over to where Naruto was seated, then crouched down so his face was inches away from Naruto's. His eyes slowly ran down the length of Naruto's body. Naruto barely suppressed the shudder of revulsion at the way the gaze seemed to crawl over his skin, most of which was revealed since he was still dressed in nothing but the boxers he had gone to sleep in. "No. You're _special_… because you interest me more than the others. My lord demands that anyone who can make even the faithful stray from the path of righteousness be destroyed. And you…" he slid a finger up Naruto's thigh, pausing just at the hem of Naruto's boxers. "... you are the worst of them all."

Naruto couldn't help the chill he felt at the man's last words. Or the way his skin crawled with revulsion as the man touched his upper thigh. He tried to steady his breathing, feeling his heart start to pound against his chest. "Why am I the worst?" He asked hoarsely.

The silver-haired man's eyes dropped briefly to Naruto's lips, then were brought back to meet Naruto's gaze. "Because. You… _tempt _me. You seduce men with your body and your words. Lure them from the correct path."

"... Is that why you hurt those other transvestites? Did you think they were luring you from the correct path?" Naruto questioned boldly, hoping to get as much information from his captor as possible..

The man looked at him, muttering under his breath rapidly in words Naruto couldn't quite catch. "...all of them… All of them tried to seduce me from the path of my Lord Jashin. But you… you are the worst. You are special. You…" his words faded back to mutters again.

"I'm what…?" Naruto's voice was steady but his body was beginning to tremble.

Without warning, the man's hand lashed out, wrapping into Naruto's hair and jerking his head back roughly. Naruto's eyes widened. "You fucking _fornicator_. You look so innocent. Wearing that honest expression when you are just a _whore. _ A deceiver. A cop…" Naruto felt him twist the strands painfully. "...But you weren't pretending. Haha! The other cops always pretended but _I SAW YOU WITH THAT MAN! _It wasn't pretend. You were enjoying it, weren't you? Taking it like the _slut _you are! You are _sin,_ just like the others. And…" The man's voice lowered to a whisper. His eyes drifted down over Naruto's body again, lingering on his lips, stomach and crotch. "... and I will purify you. You are now mine_.._."

"So you admit...," Naruto had to pause, take a second to stave off his fear and revulsion and keep his voice steady. He breathed through his nose, knowing he needed to continue his interrogation. But if he made the wrong call, pushed him too far, Naruto knew he would be killed. And until he could figure out how to escape, he needed to stall as much as he could. "..You admit to killing those other cops... You were responsible for their deaths, and the deaths of those other prostitutes, is that what you're saying?

The man released his grip, and Naruto tried not to wince. "You want me to confess my sins to you? I checked you while you were unconscious. I know that there is no wire or tracking device on you. That means that anything you get me to admit to will just be your fucking word against mine. If you lived long enough, that is. But I suppose… since I am going to purify you for your sins, I will let you hear mine. Though Lord Jashin has already purified me. You will be my fifty-seventh sacrifice"

Naruto felt his stomach drop. _Fifty-seven? No, that didn't make sense. There was no way, right?_ This was so much worse than the department knew. How long had this man been killing?

"What?" Naruto said, unable to believe what he just heard.

"Heh...the three cops and the two witnesses don't really count. They were just in the way. But the others were all done in direct service to my Lord, on his mandate. And you…" A calloused finger brushed gently along Naruto's jaw line, and he couldn't hold himself back from cringing there. "You are my lord's favorite so far...so I will need to take extra care in your purification."

Naruto stared at him in shock, going over the data in his head. Kakashi and Sai briefed him on the murders. There were records of twelve murders by this man, which meant that the other deaths were either not connected to him yet, or were undiscovered. If he was telling the truth... Naruto thought about how many people were suffering, not knowing what became of their friends or family because this psycho had successfully covered it up. If he could somehow… _somehow _make him spill where the bodies were, then once he got out of here the police could recover them and provide some closure.

The blond officer licked his lips, his face taking on an expression like he was impressed, concealing the nausea he felt inside. "Fifty seven…" It took all his strength to not let him see through it. "...You sure are clever, if even the police haven't been able to find those people. I misjudged you. I thought you were just a common murderer. It takes brains to get away with that many murders."

The man preened under the praise. Naruto had done his homework and knew that most serial killers loved the ego boost that the killing gave them. "My Lord Jashin chose me for a reason. I am the only one capable of carrying out his wishes."

"Was it easy, hiding the bodies? I can't even imagine how you did it."

"Hmmm…. easy. Not easy. But I planned it. I have it all planned out. Some I left for the police to find. But the special ones… the special ones I keep preserved."

"Preserved…?" Naruto's gut twisted with disgust, but he kept his expression the same. "Wow, that's...really smart… I just thought you might not have cared about what happened to them afterwards."

"It's my _job_." The man said, smugly. "I only have to do my job. And they are preserved for my Lord."

"So, I take it you're not actually a deliveryman, then. What do you do?" Naruto said, which earned him a large, unnerving smile in return.

"I'm not a fucking post man...you'll see that soon enough." The man said in a disturbingly cheerful voice, and then the nutjob took a step back, watching Naruto for a few torturous minutes.

Naruto tried not to sweat, only focusing on figuring out what his words meant. He said he only had to do his job and they were preserved for him. Naruto encountered a few cases in the past where victims bodies were kept as keepsakes. Usually they were stored in freezers or some kind of cold storage. Or embalmed. At this point, Naruto could only deduce this man's real job has a similar device. Ice cream truck worker? Funeral director? Naruto gritted his teeth, knowing that if he weren't tied up he would kick himself. If he'd only knew back then, that the murderer had been there all along then maybe..._maybe..._

Naruto stopped himself once more. He couldn't afford to panic. The officer subtly glanced to the side, taking the moment as a window of opportunity to quickly use the light from the doorway to read the address label on some of the boxes. They read _45 S. Sound Division St. _

Naruto knew where that was.

He was forty minutes away from where he was taken, and while that wasn't as horrible as being smuggled out of the city entirely, it still wasn't too comforting. He'd only been on that side of town a few times when he was tracking down a drug distributor, and it'd been a few years since then. He didn't know the surroundings too well, so when he did escape...would he even know where to go? There was no police station or fire station nearby. And cabs didn't frequent the area, though a taxi driver wasn't likely to stop for a half-nude male anyway.

"...You're awfully quiet." The blondes attention snapped back to the killer, who's smile had stretched up to his ears. "You won't be once I start the ritual…You'll be screaming, begging me to make it stop. You'll say my fucking name over and over again, like it's scripture."

"Your name..." Naruto felt the words coming out of his mouth before he could stop them. "What _is _your name?"

Instantly, the man's eyes narrowed and he stomped towards Naruto, backhanding him hard across the face. "Don't fucking try to seduce me, you whore! I will hold out until the rites have been followed! I will not be tempted! First, you must do penance for your sins…" Naruto watched him wordlessly, his blood running cold. "...but I suppose… you should know the name of the one helping pass Jashin's judgement." His lips curled with delight. "It's Hidan. Now I will go and prepare the First Lesson."

With that, the killer named Hidan strode from the room, the door slamming behind him with a metallic clang. That's when Naruto finally let the almost overwhelming fear show on his face as he slumped forward, letting out a series of rapid breaths. It was already getting colder. He allowed his shoulders the privilege to shake, and he prayed (to a god that wasn't this lunatic's) that Zabuza had already figured out he was gone and was searching for him.

Three days had never seemed so terrifyingly long, and so terrifyingly short.

* * *

><p><strong>Ten hours missing<strong>

Itachi stood outside the door to Sasuke's apartment. For the first time in his life, he actually felt afraid to face his little brother. Not because of what Sasuke would do to him. But because of what he was about to do to Sasuke. They had spent all night following every lead, scanning every surveillance tape from the street that Naruto had been working. They had finally found a picture of the guy dressed as a delivery man, but when they had tracked down the company, all they had found was that a uniform and a truck had been stolen and then recovered. A dead end.

Kakashi had offered to be the one to tell him, but Itachi knew it was his responsibility. Despite having his own key, Itachi rang the doorbell. After a few minutes he heard the sound of Sasuke's footsteps approaching.

Itachi drew a breath, bracing himself as the door opened. Sasuke's eyes took in the sight critically. Sasuke glanced at his watch, eyebrows rising at his brother coming by before noon on a Saturday morning. He half-scowled, about to make a comment about Itachi forgetting he had a key but the words froze on his lips when he took in his brother's expression. Sasuke's stomach turned to ice, his eyes widening and he took a step back. "No," Sasuke said, looking at Itachi, desperately hoping he was reading this wrong.

"Sasuke, I…" Itachi began. "I'm sorry. Naruto was taken from his apartment last night."

Sasuke's eyes flared accusingly at his brother. "You said you would watch him. You said…" He drew a breath. That wasn't fair to Itachi. And more importantly, it wouldn't help find Naruto. "So what are we doing about it?"

Itachi could sense the sheer force of will that Sasuke was using to keep his voice steady. To keep himself from falling apart.

"We're going to set up a secondary command center in your apartment. Kakashi is notifying the rest of the unit, but the chief isn't letting him bring in civilians given what has just happened. So we will be running our own operation from here. I've called in my team. They will be here within the hour. We will find him."

Sasuke nodded numbly. He wanted to believe it would be true. But that didn't mean it would be.

* * *

><p><strong>Twelve hours missing<strong>

Naruto looked up as the door opened to what he had begun to think of as his 'cell'. He had been sitting in the same position with his hands bound behind his back for at least ten hours and he had lost feeling in all his limbs. He was tired, hungry, thirsty, and pretty fucking freaked out about what was going to happen. He had read the medical reports. It wasn't going to be fun. Naruto steeled himself. He needed to get through this.

Hidan walked calmly toward him, the smell of food wafting from the tray he carried making Naruto's mouth water.

"Hungry, whore?" Hidan asked. Naruto's stomach growled as the killer crouched next to him. On the tray was a bowl of white rice and a small plate of diced meat. He eyed Hidan skeptically, not knowing if he actually intended to feed him or if poisoning him was a part of the ritual.

Hidan leaned in so his face was inches from Naruto's. "I _said_. Are you hungry, _whore?"_

Naruto swallowed the bile that came from the name, knowing that if he talked back it could get him in even more trouble. His focus was on surviving. It had nothing to do with pride. "...I am," He muttered, staring at the steaming dish.

Hidan smirked. He took a small amount of rice in his chopsticks and slowly brought it to Naruto's lips. "Then eat, bitch."

Naruto didn't hesitate. He parted his lips and took a mouthful of rice, chewing slowly. Then he swallowed.

Hidan fed him several more bites, than in a casual voice he said, "You know. I thought a fucking cop would have more spine than those dirty hookers who are used to putting whatever a man asked in their mouths…"

Naruto tried to ignore him. He tried to keep his focus on breathing, eating… keeping his cool.

"... I guess you really are just like them. I wonder what your loverboy sees in you. I bet he is out fucking someone with a bit of a back bone right now, yeah? Giving it to them real good. While you sit here and open your used hole for me..." Hidan paused, his grin widening as Naruto's chewing slowed to a stop."... You know...I remember this one whore had more fight in him… I never did get his name. He was one of the sinners that escaped, but I'm sure you know him. That pretty faced thing with long, brown hair… Soft, pink lips…"

Haku.

He was talking about _Haku._

Naruto's eyes visibly flared with anger.

"...A cute tease… It was such a shame I couldn't cleanse him too… But I know where he lives now. Maybe after you've been purified, I'll go finish what I started with him. You should have seen him, begging for me to let him go. But he wanted it. I knew that if I asked him to get on his knees and take my cock in his mouth, the little bitch would have gladly done it. He stabbed me in the fucking stomach, but you could tell he enjoyed it when I grabbed him and dragged him into that alleyway…" Hidan leaned in, his breath against Naruto's lips. "... The cumslut _wished _he'd gotten fucked."

A wad of spit came flying, hitting Hidan in the eye.

Hidan brought a finger to the lid and wiped it slowly, his smile turning feral. Naruto's face was absolutely livid. "That. Was a mistake."

"Fuck. You," Naruto said between shaky breaths, his blood boiling, wishing he could make him pay for what he did to his friend.

Hidan smiled. "...But all mistakes can be corrected. I believe it is time for our first lesson."

He walked over to the wall behind Naruto and pulled out a garden hose. Hidan turned the spigot on, and Naruto found himself coughing as water got in his mouth and nose. It was freezing, and he began to shiver as it showered over his body, soaking the only thing he wore down to the last thread. Naruto coughed violently as it thundered against his chest in a deafening roar.

"Don't worry about feeling cold. You'll have other things to feel in a moment," Hidan said calmly as he set the hose down and walked over to a small bench where he pulled out cables used for jump-starting a car. He touched the two ends together, and electricity sparked and crackled between them.

Naruto's eyes widened then all too quickly glared at him in defiance, grinding his teeth together. "Do you plan on electrocuting me? Is that it?"

Hidan laughed, "Didn't you read the medical reports, officer?"

Without waiting for a reply, he connected the electrodes to the wet skin on Naruto's chest. The surge of electricity hit Naruto's nervous system like a brick, causing his lungs to freeze and his heart to stutter. He could distantly process the feel of it burning his skin before he blacked out.

Hidan looked down at the slumped figure. "Well. You'll wake up soon. Let's get you more comfortable." He took Naruto's limp body into his arms, distinctly smelling a unique, tempting scent that could only belong to someone so sinful. Hidan tried to ignore the sensation he felt at embracing the one he was about to cleanse, and instead undid the binds on his hands and feet before laying him flat on the ground. He had carefully adjusted the voltage on the battery to make sure it would not kill his victims. That would make it over too quickly, and Hidan liked to take his time with his rituals.

He made his way to a corner where he kept a set of shackles and length of steel chain connected to a pulley suspended from the ceiling. Lifting Naruto's limp arms above his head, he fastened the shackles and hooked them to the chain. He turned the crank that began to slowly raise the chain until Naruto was suspended from the ceiling, his feet dangling less than a foot from the ground.

Hidan walked slowly around the still unconscious figure. He decided it was time for the man to lose the small vestige of modesty he had remaining. But he wanted him awake for that. He took the hose and turned it on again full force.

As the cold water pierced his skin like needles, Naruto was forced back into consciousness. His head lifted abruptly as he choked on gouts of water. The muscles in his arms and shoulder felt like they were on fire. Naruto wondered if his shoulder was dislocated again, or just hurting because of the strain on his still unhealed injury. Coughing some more, he turned his head away in an effort to avoid the offending spray. His eyes fluttered open as the water started to slow to a stop, locking onto the man who was watching him with a pleased expression on his face.

"Time to wake up. How do you feel right now, slut? I'm sure this position is one you've found yourself in many times… Spread out, bearing your flesh to whoever fucking paid for it. Do you like it like this better, bitch?"

Naruto's chest constricted as he looked down, his face twisting with disgust as he noticed he his nudity. He closed his eyes in frustration, feeling his gut swirl with anger at dangling so helplessly. If he flew off the handle like before, it would just get worse for him. But at this point, his odds of escaping weren't looking very good. He tried to think about it objectively. He had read the reports. Over the next three days, he would be tortured, raped, and killed. Looking at the thickness of the shackles holding his wrists, escape would be impossible unless he could talk Hidan into releasing him. Given that he had already killed so many, he knew that was unlikely.

If he pissed the guy off enough, he could probably shorten the torture part of the program. But it would just give his team less time to find him. Naruto had to decide if he had enough faith in his department that they would get to him in time, or if he should just cut this losses and make peace with his fate.

He remembered Sai's face as he'd charged out of the car to find him. And he thought of the intense look in Sasuke's eyes when he woke up in the hospital. He wasn't going to give up on them. He believed in his squad, and he believed he would get out of here. He would bide his time and wait for a chance to escape. And if none came, he would bank on his friends. He would not let himself surrender, especially to this creep. Not on his life.

"Is that all you've got?" Naruto said hoarsely, lifting his head up with a posture that could only be classified as determined.

Hidan's smile was manic. "Oh, no. Not at all. We're just getting started…." He raised the electrodes and started walking toward Naruto, his face lit with a fanatic zeal that made the hair on Naruto's arms stand up more than the electric shocks did.

"...Lying lips are the abomination to Jashin," Hidan began to chant as he approached. "You… That's why Jashin has abandoned you, as he abandons all who give into their shameful desires, watching from above as you abominations burn with lust. Men who lure other men with their bodies are depraved, spreading by sin and corrupting the innocent. And he, Jashin, will smite down the sinners, for no one who abides Jashin follows the path of promiscuity… and no one who is lecherous has either seen paradise or knows of it…" He held up the cables and touched the ends together like before. "...You must become the lamb..."

The room lit up with a flash, and Naruto suppressed a scream. His body twitched and convulsed as Hidan pulled away only for a few short seconds, before doing it again. This time pressing the cables to Naruto's thigh. Naruto's teeth dug into his bottom lip as his muscles seized and spasmed, his heart thundered loudly in his ears. He clenched his hands and feet tightly, holding back another scream.

"...Hahahaha! And I….the slaughter!" Hidan's voice rose as he pressed the jumper cable again against Naruto's flesh. Naruto's only thought was that this guy was just_ bat shit _crazy. In any other circumstance he would have rolled his eyes, but soon he was screaming as the man continued to shock him over and over again. Naruto gasped for air, his head slumping forward. He tried to control the spasms that were wracking his body from the electrical shocks. Hidan's unhinged laughter echoed around him. "Together, we will wash away your sins and my temptation."

_"Repent."_

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_... Merry Late Christmas?_


	15. Chapter 15 - Race Against Time

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana do not own Naruto.

**Warnings:** More disturbing content ahead and violence ahead. Grit and bear with it my friends. Naruto needs your support.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **Why hello! Kizu and I as always enjoyed writing this, and personally found it extremely amusing and extremely painful. Thank you guys so more for the positive support you've given the story thus far. Since Kizu and I decided to write this crazy thing together you guys have been nothing but sweet to us, and encouraging with your hilarious reviews and gigantic cap locks wanting to choke us for leaving cliffhangers.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15 - Race Against Time<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Twenty four hours missing<strong>

Sasuke stared at the computer screen. They had been going through footage of every traffic light in the city, starting with the time Naruto had been abducted with no luck. Itachi had been working with some of the IT gurus from his division to access cell phone records during the time of the abduction to see if the man had an accomplice, but if he had one it had most likely been Kakuzu. And since Kakuzu was laying in the city morgue, it was doubtful the killer had called him.

Zabuza, Kiba, and Sai had been interviewing everyone on the block hoping someone had seen or heard something, but it was like the man was a ghost. No one had seen him enter or exit, much less seen him carrying out an unconscious blond cop with him.

Sasuke had heard about what happened, that Zabuza had left Naruto alone when he was supposed to be on watch. He hadn't seen the man face-to-face yet, and honestly he didn't know what he would do to him when he did.

Sasuke felt the pen he had been holding snap in his fingers, blood and ink dripping onto the piece of paper he was looking at. Itachi set a steaming mug of black coffee down on the desk in front of him, casually glancing at the mess.

"... Not sleeping isn't going to help when your brain stops being useful," Itachi murmured, nudging the coffee towards him. "Neither is breaking things."

Sasuke sighed, accepting the coffee and muttering a quiet, "Thanks." They had had limited news from Kakashi, who was being kept on a tight leash by his superior. The media had already gotten wind of the abduction of a young undercover officer and the existence of a serial killer, and the Chief of Police had come down on Kakashi like a ton of bricks about making sure that this operation was done by the books. As promised, Itachi had called in his 'colleagues' from whatever shadow organization he worked for.

Sasuke glanced over where a man with multiple face piercings was speaking with a blue-haired woman about the status of one of their helicopters that was searching north of the city. Someone had called in a tip that someone had seen a 'suspicious' vehicle. It was the fifteenth such lead they had received, but so far none of them had panned out. The fact that they had hacked into the police dispatch system to monitor this didn't faze any of them.

Sasuke took the cup of coffee and wrapped his hands around it, letting the warmth from the mug sooth him slightly. Kiba walked in without knocking, ignoring the gun the blue-haired woman had trained on him until Itachi nodded that he was ok.

"Anything?" Kiba asked, his eyes haunted and slightly desperate. He had just finished his shift and had come directly over without telling anyone. He didn't give a shit if he got fired for it later. In his mind, the more people working the case to find his friend, the better. He would share whatever information he had with anyone willing to help.

Sasuke shook his head and went back to scrolling through video footage. Kiba sat down next to him, laying a thick folder in front of him. He looked briefly at the screen Sasuke was staring at. "Do I even want to know how you got access to the traffic light footage?"

"No," Itachi answered as he walked past.

Kiba blinked, but didn't pursue the topic. "This is everything we know about the guy, including the profile that Zabuza worked up on him," Kiba said, tapping the file in front of him. He saw Sasuke's eyes flash with anger at the mention of the older cop's name. "I punched him in the face, if that makes you feel any better. And he hasn't taken even a fifteen minute break since he found out Naruto was gone, tracking down every lead, talking to anyone who will open their door on that fucking street. If anyone on that footage resembles what's written in this report, we're gonna find them and bring them in."

Sasuke nodded tightly. He knew the blame didn't fully rest with Zabuza. It wasn't clear if the outcome would have been any different if the man had been there, and asleep. Except there might be another body to add to to the body count tally that the killer was evidently intent on racking up. But he still wanted to put his fist through the guy's face. But he would deal with that later. "Aren't you going to get in trouble for bringing this to us?" Sasuke asked Kiba.

Kiba shrugged, "Right now, I really don't care," he scrubbed at his eyes, clearly trying to gather himself. "Naruto was the whole reason I joined the force, you know? It was his dream since high school, and he sort of just swept me along with him. He rode me so we could make it through high school and he busted my ass to get me through the police academy. We were supposed to make it to the top together. We were supposed to…" Kiba's throat close up, and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Fuck."

Sasuke opened the file Kiba had brought in, saying nothing. He knew he wasn't the only one who cared about Naruto, and let the other officer have time to get himself under control. Kiba had been Naruto's best friend since before he'd even met the blond. The file included a timeline of what the killer was believed to do to his victims before he killed them. _Electrocution. Asphyxiation. Starvation. Dehydration. Blunt force trauma. Multiple lacerations and disfigurement. Rape_. Sasuke read, then looked up at his brother, feeling panic swamp him.

"Itachi… Naruto… he can't…" Sasuke couldn't finish his statement as waves of nausea overcame him. Naruto was resilient, but even he had his limits. This was… too much.

"We'll find him," Itachi said, his voice cold and commanding.

Kiba looked up, his eyes hopeful.

"You don't know that," Sasuke said hollowly, staring down at the medical reports of some of the man's prior victims.

Itachi poked Sasuke in the forehead with two fingers, getting his attention. He looked his brother dead in the eye, raising one elegant eyebrow. "What do you think the chances are that the killer is smarter than I am, little brother?"

Sasuke felt the vice in his chest ease fractionally. _No one_ was smarter than Itachi, and if there was anyone capable of finding Naruto, it was his brother. He knew that with certainty.

Sasuke drew a shaky breath and forced himself to look back at the screen, scrolling through more footage.

"Wait," Sasuke said, his hand clenching on the mouse. "I think I saw…"

Instantly, he was surrounded by the four other people in the room.

"There, zoom in," Kiba said anxiously, tapping the monitor.

Sasuke clicked, zooming the grainy image in on a car that had been traveling north during the thirty-minute window after Naruto had been abducted.

"It's him," Sasuke said, seeing the image of what looked to be a sleeping Naruto in the passenger side of a car.

"Get the plates, and pull the feeds from all traffic cameras in likely routes based on their current position," Itachi snapped out orders to Konan and Yahiko.

Kiba picked up his phone. "What was the cross-street?"

Sasuke looked at him questioningly.

Kiba was already dialing. "I'm calling Kakashi with an 'anonymous tip'. Might as well have everyone looking in the same direction since so far we've turned up jack shit down at the department." No one mentioned that since Kiba was dialing from his personal phone, it wasn't like going to be very 'anonymous'. At this point, none of that mattered

Sasuke nodded and gave the cross-street. Itachi was already radioing the helicopter with a description of the vehicle and its last known location. Everyone was in motion.

He just hoped they wouldn't be too late.

* * *

><p><strong>32 hours missing:<strong>

Naruto woke to the steady sound of dripping. He was shivering. Every spasm of his body brought a fresh wave of pain, and for a moment he wished he could just pass back out. He drew a shaky breath. His throat was raw from screaming and even the smallest wisp of air seemed to burn. He'd been tortured for who knows how long. He lost track of time. Naruto wasn't sure when he went unconscious but a part of him longed for it.

Yet he knew he had to use every moment he was alone to try to figure out how to escape. If he _failed_… His mind pulled back from the images of his parents, Kiba… Sasuke. They would all suffer. And if he didn't stop the killer here, he would keep going. The death toll would continue rising. More people would lose their loved ones and not even know where they were, and Naruto could not let that happen.

He needed to get out of here. He could _not _let himself give up. He would not be weak and give in to his fear. Naruto lifted his head, surprised to find that he was tied down on some sort of board, suspended from the floor by the same pulley system that Hidan had used while shocking him. He rolled his shoulder, surprised to find that it had not in fact been dislocated again when he had been suspended by his wrists for so long. It sure as fuck had felt like it.

He wasn't able to sit up fully due to some sort of restraint device which buckled across his chest, hips and thighs, but he was able to see that - aside from a few red marks - his body didn't look particularly damaged. He had thought the burns would be worse, but they weren't even blistered. He remembered faintly what Kiba used to say back in high school about him not bruising as badly as other people. In any other situation he'd be proud, but the psycho would most likely take it as a challenge to cause more damage that scarred.

Naruto tried to calm his nerves and think. Hidan would be back soon. The fastenings of the buckles appeared to be beneath the board, meaning it would be almost impossible to undo them given his arms were strapped down. Naruto jerked at the restraints, hoping he could loosen them, but they held fast. His mind raced, searching for options.

It seemed like Hidan waited until his victims were unconscious before moving them to a new position. Made perfect sense… it was certainly harder to fight back and escape like that.

So...Naruto decided his best bet would be to try to fake it. He didn't know how good of an actor he was, but he didn't have many options. If Hidan thought he was unconscious at the end of a 'session', then he would have a chance to break free if the man undid the shackles.

"... Rise and shine, whore. Ready to have some more fun?" A voice came from the end of the room. Naruto stiffened as he heard the large door pushed open, and bit the inside of his cheek when a pair of feet walked toward him at a leisure pace.

He just needed to survive one more session… of whatever was going to happen next.

He saw Hidan approaching him with a hose.

* * *

><p><strong>34 hours missing:<strong>

Naruto gasped and choked as the water continued to wash over him. Tied down as he was, he couldn't escape the flow of it. He knew Hidan wasn't going to drown him based on what he'd read of the autopsy reports on the other victims, but damn...it felt like he was dying. He clung to consciousness, but his mind kept drifting back to scenes from his past.

* * *

><p><strong>6th Grade Homeroom <strong>

_Naruto walked into the room just before the bell rang. The school was huge, much larger than the smaller elementary school he had been in last year and he had gotten lost trying to find the room. But this was middle school, and had nearly five times the kids of his old school. His eyes nervously scanned the other students, hoping to find at least one he knew. He blew out a small relieved sigh when he saw his best friend and next-door-neighbor, Kiba, sitting in the back. He immediately made his way to sit next to him. _

_He noticed a boy he had never seen before with jet black hair and compelling, dark eyes watching him. Somehow, the intensity of the look in that otherwise expressionless face make Naruto nervous. He forced his gaze back to his friend Kiba, noticing out of the corner of his eye that the dark-haired boy had frowned at the snub. _

_In his rush to get to his friend, he didn't see the foot that was sticking out just slightly from beneath the dark-haired boy's chair. Naruto just managed to catch himself from falling flat on his face._

"_Tch, watch where you're going, moron."_

_Naruto looked up to see the dark-eyed boy looking at him, a small smirk on his perfect, pale face. He blinked once, realization and anger flooding into his system. _

"_You tripped me!" Naruto said, his face flushing in embarrassment._

_The teacher cleared his throat. "That's enough, boys. Everyone take their seats."_

_Naruto sent one more fulminating glare at the pale boy before hurrying back and slamming himself into the seat next to Kiba._

"_Alright class. My name is Yamato. I will be your home room and English teacher this year."_

"_I heard he's the best teacher in the school. He has all kinds of awards," Kiba whispered conspiratorially. Naruto's spirits rose. He might have an asshole for a classmate, but at least he'd lucked out on his teacher. Though the guy looked kind of weird, but Naruto wasn't one to judge._

_Yamato was continuing, "Since this is the first day of school I want everyone to take turns standing up and introducing yourselves to your peers. Let's start with… hmm," Yamato scanned the classroom, only to land on an excited bundle of orange and yellow, frantically waving his arm about. Naruto stood up as soon as Yamato nodded to him, a large smile stretching up to his ears, and Kiba snorted. _

"_Hey!" He grinned, addressing the class. "The name's Naruto Uzumaki, nice to meet everyone!"_

_Yamato smiled slightly at the enthusiastic loudness in the blond child's voice. "Naruto, since you've volunteered so… energetically, please tell us about your likes, your dislikes. What your goals are for the present, and then for the future."_

_Naruto's nodded excitedly, though no one was really paying attention to him aside from Kiba who was snickering. Most were already trying to think about what they would say about themselves when it was their turn. Unknowingly a pair of dark eyes watched him critically. "Ah, well, I really like playing Smash brothers, eating ramen, and uh… cooking ramen?"_

"_You said that already…" His classmate Shikamaru lazily mumbled from his desk by the window, his head buried in his arms. Naruto scratched the back of his head with a bashful sort of look, laughing embarrassedly. _

"_Oh. Well, for my dislikes, I really hate the five minute wait that comes before eating it, too. It really sucks…" Naruto trailed off into a pout, then seemed to gather himself by shaking his head and coming back to the point. "My goals for the present are...uh, to pass Orchimaru-Sensei's Biology class?"_

"_You and the rest of our grade, man," Kiba called out from next to him._

"_As for the future…" Naruto's expression turned from playful to contemplative, "I think I'm going to join the police force when I'm older."_

_"Why do you want to be a police officer, Naruto?" Yamato asked curiously._

_"Well, my family is kind of in the business of kicking butt," Naruto grinned, bringing a finger to scratch lazily at his cheek. "My dad graduated from the police academy at the top of his class and was the youngest officer to make the major case squad. He's awesome, and put away more bad guys then I can count with my fingers and toes. And my mom work with the FBI. She had handled all kinds of cases that she's not allowed to talk about, but she's totally amazing. Even my dad is afraid of her. I want to make a difference like them too, you know? I want to help people."_

_"Very nice, Naruto. And since your name is last by alphabetical order, we'll just continue up from you. Uchiha? Sasuke Uchiha, please stand and introduce yourself."_

_Naruto's eyes narrowed as the boy who had tripped him (Naruto still wasn't sure if it had been an accident or not) stood. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha," Sasuke glanced at Naruto, "I don't like loud, stupid people who talk too much. I will be a lawyer like my father."_

_With that, the boy sat down. All the girls in the room sighed and fluttered their eyelashes at him, and Naruto fumed. Even though Sasuke's face didn't change, Naruto could somehow tell that the girls' attention annoyed him. The girl sitting next to Sasuke tried to slip him a note, and he just glared at her until she withdrew her hand. 'Stupid Sasuke,' Naruto thought. 'Such a stuck-up jerk. He could at least have been nice to her.'_

_Naruto looked over and found the dark eyes looking at him again. Naruto scowled at Sasuke. Sasuke smirked back._

* * *

><p>Naruto gasped as the water finally stopped pouring over his face long enough for him to breathe. He had blacked out briefly from lack of oxygen.<p>

"You can't pass out yet, sinner. You have to be _awake_ as I am washing away your sins."

Naruto panted, his lungs sucking in the precious oxygen. The man wasn't going to actually drown him. He just wanted to make Naruto feel like he was. He just had to stick it out a little bit more, and then he could pretend to lose consciousness and hopefully fool Hidan into thinking he was really out.

Water hit his face again without warning, and Naruto struggled to not cough and lose the little air he had in his lungs when some of it got in his nose. But it wasn't enough… he could feel his mind drifting again.

* * *

><p><strong>7th grade<strong>

_Naruto sighed as he leaned against the bleachers. He knew he wasn't supposed to be out here during lunch, but his mom had been gone on assignment this week and this morning his dad had forgotten to pack his lunch, so he didn't have lunch money on him. Usually he would just ask Kiba, but his friend was out sick today. He didn't like to talk to other people about his family situation. He loved his parents and was proud of their jobs. But sometimes… it was hard being the child of heroes. _

_Naruto slumped forward, burying one hand in his pocket while the other brought some oats to his mouth and he chewed it absently. He had avoided the lunch room, where the smell of the food was making his mouth water. He'd dug through his gym bag and found a granola bar, and he was eating it slowly, hoping to make it last long enough to fool his teenage-boy's bottomless pit of a stomach that it was a complete meal._

_He was lost in thought, worrying about his Mom and hoping her assignment wasn't dangerous, trying to not feel too depressed about his lack of lunch. Which is why he didn't hear the footfalls approaching him._

"_Dobe. Why aren't you eating lunch?"_

_Naruto started, looking up in surprise to see Sasuke there. He couldn't help but glare at him out of reflex, but when he wasn't met with his classmate's usual better-than-you look, he relaxed a little. "Um… I… forgot my lunch today," He said awkwardly. _

_Sasuke frowned slightly. "Just have the school call your mom. She'll bring it down."_

_Naruto shifted, wondering where his mom was today. "Can't. She's on assignment. She won't be back until maybe next week."_

_He couldn't keep the slight tremor out of his voice. He was thirteen. Too old to be crying over his mommy being away for work. But he worried about her job. It wasn't like other moms who went away on business trips. When his mom left, there was always the chance that she wouldn't come back. _

_He was relieved when Sasuke simply turned and left. He scrubbed his eyes, not wanting to be caught crying by anyone. He drew a few deep breaths, steadying himself, leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed._

_He was surprised when he felt something hard tap his knees. He opened his eyes to see Sasuke holding a lunch tray. "Eat. I have history with you after lunch and I don't want to have to listen to your stomach make annoying noises all period."_

_He turned and walked back towards the lunchroom. Naruto blinked in shock, barely managing to catch the tray that Sasuke has basically just dropped in his lap._

"_Hey! Sasuke!" Naruto shouted. The pale boy stopped, but didn't turn around. "Thanks… I'll pay you back tomorrow."_

_Sasuke just waved a hand dismissively, and went inside._

_Naruto dug into the food, somehow feeling less upset about everything. _

* * *

><p>Naruto's mind slowly cleared. He lay there, fighting for air, but the memory of that day behind the school somehow pulled at Naruto. He wished that he had realized back then how different things could have been between him and Sasuke. He <em>wished <em>he had noticed his own feelings a lot sooner. Had Sasuke liked him way back then? Looking back, there had been signs. Despite all the taunting, Sasuke had seemed to be there for Naruto when he really needed it. If only Naruto hadn't been so insecure to realize what it all meant. And now that he had, he hoped it wasn't too late for them.

Naruto felt his chest constrict painfully, not from the lack of oxygen, but from the realization that he could die now, right after things between them had finally connected.

Another deluge of water washed over him, and Naruto's oxygen-deprived brain, seemed to search for yet another memory for him to re-evaluate.

* * *

><p><strong>Freshman Year<strong>

"_Not interested."_

_Naruto ducked behind a locker at the familiar voice. He crumpled his tardy slip and shoved it in his pocket, having no clue why he was hiding as he peeked his head around to see who it was. He was already late to class, but he really shouldn't make it worse by just standing around here. But he had recognized one of the voices. He saw Sasuke talking to a girl in the hallway, his posture cool and relaxed as he started to turn around. Naruto couldn't quite see who the girl was. But it could have been just about anyone. It was no secret that basically every girl in the school had the hots for him._

_"Sorry, but I don't have time for this," Sasuke said flatly, beginning to move away. Naruto watched a manicured hand reach out to grab his rival's sleeve, and he couldn't help but roll his eyes. It didn't take a genius to know what was going on here. It was probably just another one of the asshole's admirers coming to confess their love. But when Sasuke shifted, Naruto realized it wasn't just anyone spewing their heart out to Sasuke. It was Sakura, the girl Naruto had had a crush on since elementary school. _

_Naruto bit the inside of his cheek, his brief flash of anger quickly turning into disappointment, then ultimately rejection. Of course she would prefer Sasuke. Every girl was ogling the bastard and though he tried to ignore the hearts in Sakura's eyes whenever she'd wave to Sasuke in class, he knew still they were there. Naruto sighed. He should leave. He shouldn't be watching this. He figured he'd head the other way, take another route to class when the next sentence caught him off guard._

"_Just tell me why, Sasuke. I know I've asked you so many times, but... I thought we were… friends? We've known each other since middle school, and… I've always felt this way about you, and I thought maybe..." _

"_Sakura… there's someone else." _

_Naruto's eyes widened. Sasuke, the same person who turned down almost every girl in the school, had someone he was interested in? He swallowed, unknowingly leaning in closer to get a better listen. It isn't like he… __**cared **__or anything. He just was curious as to who would make the soulless Sasuke Uchiha feel anything, since arrogance seemed like the only emotion he was capable of._

_"Someone...else?" Sakura echoed, her eyes downcast at the floor. "...Is it, someone from our class?"_

"That's none of your business."

"It is, isn't it? They go here, don't they?"

"It doesn't matter," Sasuke's voice was closed and hard, but Naruto could hear the underlying emotion there. Sasuke was… upset? Naruto blinked. He'd never heard him get worked up over anything. At the knowledge that someone else was doing this to his rival, something in Naruto's chest constricted. He forced the feeling away. "It doesn't make a difference who. They don't know, and I intend to keep it that way."

_"They don't __**know**__? Sasuke you… you should tell her," Sakura's eyes softened with understanding. She sadly shook her head, her voice becoming more desperate, "Sasuke, I… I get that you won't return my feelings, and I will try to accept that. But… you should tell her how you feel. If you never try, then you'll never know what the outcome will be."_

_"You don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke responded almost tiredly, an edge making its way into his voice. "I don't have time for this, I'm heading to my next class."_

"_But I do understand Sasuke, because I've been trying to show you how I've felt since middle school!" Sakura shouted. Naruto swallowed hard. "I tried holding it in and… even though you don't feel the same way, I still needed to at least try. No matter how many times you rejected me. Just keeping it to myself was so painful, Sasuke, and even though this is also painful, I'm glad that I could tell you… though I get it now. I won't bother you with it anymore." _

_Sasuke seemed to watch on wordlessly as Sakura gathered herself, her hands clutching at her sides._

"But I don't want to see you in the same pain I was in back in middle school…If you tell her, it won't end badly, I know it won't. Only an idiot would reject you, Sasuke," Sakura said, smiling tentatively.

_As much as Naruto hated to admit it, Sakura was right. Sasuke was loved by all his teachers, fawned over by every girl in the school, and treated like a celebrity by all the guys in his class. He was smart, good looking, and could almost rival Naruto's speed and athleticism in gym. What person in their right mind would turn down someone like him?_

"_An idiot," Sasuke repeated slowly, his voice low and heavy. That's when he did something that caught Naruto off guard. Sasuke's mouth slowly lifted into a sad smile. Naruto felt his stomach flip. "You're right, only an idiot would reject me. And god only knows how I ended liking an idiot."_

* * *

><p>It was funny how events from his past seemed to mean such different things now.<p>

Sasuke was right back then. He was an idiot. An idiot for not noticing what was happening the entire time.

Naruto tried to keep his mind off the panic that was rising as he struggled to breathe. He wanted to make it out of this. He wanted to see Sasuke again. There were so many things he wanted to tell Sasuke… so much he just _wanted_. He wanted to know all the things that Sasuke had felt as they had grown up, what he had thought. He wanted to know more about the man Sasuke had become. And goddamn it, he wanted to _finally _get to have sex with him.

Naruto felt his throat close up, and it had nothing to do with the water trying to choke him. He wanted a life with Sasuke. He didn't want to have wasted so many chances in the past only to come up short now.

He struggled to remain conscious, but felt the blackness slipping over him. _Fuck!_ He wasn't going to make it. Naruto swallowed one last gasp of water-filled air as his eyes closed shut. He heard the sound of laughter, then he finally slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p><strong>48 hours missing:<strong>

Sasuke's head jerked up from the keyboard where he had fallen asleep. He could hear Itachi talking into the radio they used to keep contact with the helicopter.

"Where is it? How many bodies are inside? Radio the address to the police. We'll meet you there."

"Did they find Naruto?" Sasuke's voice belied none of the hope or despair he felt when asking the question. Naruto had already been missing two full days. The police reports had given Sasuke all too clear of an idea of just what Naruto had been going through. But what had Sasuke's body almost shutting down with fear was the knowledge that within twenty-four hours, Naruto would be dead if they didn't find him.

Sasuke stood, grabbing his jacket as he saw Itachi pulling his own on, not even waiting for an answer. Yahiko and Konan were throwing various assault weapons into a duffle bag, and Kiba was strapping on his gear.

"The infrared camera on Nagato's chopper picked up two bodies in a supposedly abandoned warehouse outside of town."

"Bodies?" Sasuke's stomach sank.

"Live bodies. Warm… they're still showing up on the infrared," Itachi explained patiently, allowing for Sasuke's mental lag due to the lack of sleep and extreme stress his little brother had been operating under.

Sasuke swallowed and nodded, unable to speak but showing that at least he understood.

"The resolution is poor, but it looks like one is walking around while the other is unmoving."

"Restrained?"

"Or unconscious," Yahiko said, not mincing words. "We might not have much time."

They were piling into a black van supplied by the organization that Itachi worked for. No one thought to question Sasuke coming along. Konan walked up to him and handed him a bullet proof vest.

"Do you know how to fire a gun?" she asked.

"I know how guns work. Just show me how to release the safety and I'm pretty sure I can manage," Sasuke bit out.

Konan looked over at Itachi, who simply nodded his permission.

"Konan is our sharp-shooter. If all goes well, none of the rest of us will have to fire a shot. But we don't know what we're walking into, so everyone should be armed," Itachi said, checking his own weapon before pulling one out and handing it to Sasuke, showing him how to release the safety and how to hold the gun to avoid the recoil.

Sasuke's face was cold as he took the gun.

He didn't want this to end in trial.

He wanted the man dead at his feet.

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_OH SNAP! SASUKE, DON'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY NOW._

_Till next time!_


	16. Chapter 16 - Beating The Odds

**Disclaimer**: CapturedByNoodles and Kizukatana do not own Naruto.

**Warnings:** LOTS of slightly disturbing content and violence ahead.

**Kizu and Noodle's Author's Notes: **As always, Kizu and I enjoyed writing this and enjoyed your feedback even more. We're starting to reach the end here guys. Not saying when, but it's getting close! And as always, we thank you for going on this journey with us. I'm getting ready for school, trying to calm down from the reappearance of my other favorite anime Durarara, and Kizu's down with the flu this week, so crossing my fingers that she gets better (especially her) and that the frenzy subsides!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16 - Beating The Odds<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Earlier that evening<strong>

Kushina sat curled up on the sofa, watching the news while her husband made them pancakes for brunch. They had just gotten back from a three-day trip celebrating their first year of retirement.

She could hear Minato bustling around in the kitchen, humming a melody slightly off-tune, and her lips curved into a peaceful smile. She had wondered if they'd survive living together once they retired and had to spend twenty-four hours a day getting in each other's hair, but the truth was that this year had been probably the happiest of her life.

She was daydreaming about the romantic get-away they had just returned from when the news switched over to a press conference that the Police Commissioner was giving.

"We can neither confirm nor deny these reports that have been circulated -" the man was cut off by an aggressive reporter from the audience.

"But is it true that a young officer was abducted by a serial killer two days ago, and that the department has been keeping these killings a secret from the public?"

Kushina tried to ignore the icy ball of fear that settled in her stomach. It didn't mean it was Naruto. It could be any other young, undercover officer.

But a figured in the background caught her eye. It was Captain Hatake, his face grey with fatigue and stress. Kakashi was … Naruto's captain in the undercover unit. Naruto had just become the youngest officer to make the squad. The cup of tea that Kushina had been holding crashed to the floor, falling from her nerveless fingers.

"Minato!" She screamed, already reaching for her cell phone.

* * *

><p>Kakashi closed his cell phone. He had known it would only be a matter of time before Kushina and Minato found out about their son being missing. He was surprised it had taken this long, but evidently they'd been out of town.<p>

He sighed, shoving the device in his pocket. They were both professionals, so she hadn't been in hysterics and had quickly grasped the situation. But it had been hard for Kakashi to admit that they had not been able to find anything beyond a single traffic photo to get them any closer to finding her son.

Kakashi was a good captain, and he trained his teams well. It was rare that he lost one of his group. But the situation wasn't looking good. Two days had passed, and every lead they'd chased down had only led them in circles. Zabuza was a wreck. He'd already requested that Kakashi remove him from his position as team leader when this was over. But first he wanted to help find Naruto. And they _would _find Naruto.

As he walked briskly through the station he noticed the papers on his officers desks were stacked high to the ceiling. Who knew Naruto would have such an impact on so many people so quickly? Half of the department looked like they hadn't slept in days, and everyone was volunteering to help. The leaks to the press had only made the tension worse. The constant hounding of reporters asking if they'd found the body yet, and asking how much time Naruto likely had left, was keeping everyone was on edge.

Kakashi would have found this a lot less frustrating if he could allow the men from his group to officially join forces with Itachi and his unnamed organization, but with the case now in the limelight, everything had to be done by the book; and the chief was breathing down his neck to make sure every protocol was followed. But protocol was holding them back, and they were making progress too slowly. Luckily, they were not all following the rules as tightly as the Chief might think.

Kakashi smiled slightly under his mask. Of course, the Chief was sometimes an idiot and he had believed that Kiba was 'too distraught' over the loss of his friend and previous partner to participate in the mission.

Kakashi glanced at Kiba's empty desk. It was clear to anyone who knew the officer where he had gone. Kiba was with Itachi and Sasuke, who were leading their own separate, slightly illegal, operation. While he knew the consequences of allowing Kiba to go off on his own, he'd been with the officer long enough to realize that his loyalty to his friends was a more powerfully binding contract then the law.

If they found anything, Kiba would let him know. Just as he let Kiba 'borrow' a detailed copy of the case file without any questions. He knew that it was important to follow rules. In service of the law, Kakashi was a firm believer that those who broke the rules were scum. But those who abandoned their friends and comrades were worse than scum. Which is why he deemed it even more important to do whatever it takes to rescue Naruto. Because he was one of their people, a friend, and a teammate. Even if they all ended up fired for it later.

Kakashi's phone buzzed with an incoming text.

He glanced down, recognizing Kiba's cell. He was on his feet in less than a second, shouting down the hall for SWAT to gear up as he called Zabuza and Sai to give them the location.

They'd found him.

Kakashi just hoped it wasn't too late.

* * *

><p><strong>49 hours missing<strong>

The black van was absolutely silent as they raced through the city streets toward the warehouse that Nagato found. Sasuke glanced over at Kiba, noticing that the young officer was pale, and his eyes were hollow and red-rimmed.

Sasuke felt the panic and fear as well, but he wasn't letting it show. He needed to maintain his composure. The situation was critical. Sasuke wasn't a trained sniper, nor was he an expert in police tactics. He was a defense attorney, well-trained to combat vicious verbal attacks, not physical ones; and Sasuke knew that if he misstepped, even once, he could prolong the rescue. Or even worse, he could cause its abrupt end.

Itachi had not questioned his need to come along, but had given Sasuke a firm directive that he do what he's told by letting Konan and Yahiko take the lead. Sasuke wasn't going to mess it up by charging in blindly and getting everyone killed.

As he glanced at the brunet once more, noticing Kiba's hands were balled at his sides, he knew nothing he could say would comfort him. Kiba wouldn't be happy until he saved Naruto. And like Sasuke, relief wouldn't come until Naruto was walking out of that warehouse _alive _and unharmed_. _But considering it had already been more than two days and the location was across town through traffic, the chances of that happening were becoming unimaginably slimmer_. _

Sasuke's fingers curled around the frame of the gun under his vest, his fear morphing into something much darker and more dangerous. If Naruto died, so would the killer. Sasuke would see to that.

While Kiba sought to simply rescue Naruto, Sasuke was trying to be realistic about the outcome. He knew they would not be able to just storm in, since it was likely that the killer would simply shoot Naruto on the spot and make his escape. Itachi said they would have to approach this cautiously if they wanted to take him by surprise. During that time, Naruto would just have to hold on. Though after everything that had likely happened to him already…

Sasuke closed his eyes, forcing a deep breath through his nose to fight down the surge of anger and fear.

"He always pulls through, you know," Kiba's voice broke the silence, his words strained. Sasuke turned his head towards him slightly. "No matter the odds. He… he's going to make it." His voice quavered, and Sasuke swallowed hard, nodding slightly. The two men's eyes locked, both hoping it would be true.

_It was the championship game. Even with all their players in top condition, they were not expected to win. The team they were playing came from a school that had made the championship finals 18 out of the past 20 years, and had won the past four years. And the odds had just gotten worse when - in the previous game - Naruto had a broken thumb and a twisted knee. His doctors had told him he shouldn't play. It was his senior year, and the biggest game of his life. _

_Sasuke had seen the blond telling his team the news at school on Monday, trying to smile and joke that they would probably do better with him cheering from the sidelines given his mouth but no one was buying it. The team had no chance without him. _

_Konohamaru was the second string quarterback, but he was only a sophomore and Naruto had three years' experience on him. Konohamaru would be great in another year or two, but right now he just wasn't ready._

_Now they were now down by two touchdowns, and it was already half-time. The team's shoulders were slumped as they headed into the locker room for a pep talk._

_Sasuke sat in the stands, not even sure why he had come. Half the school had made the four hour drive to watch their team play for the first time ever in the state championship. It was history in the making, whether they won or lost. But winning seemed to be a complete impossibility with Naruto sitting on the bench._

_Sasuke looked up as the team emerged from the locker rooms, completely unsurprised to see Naruto suited up and taking his position on the field. Despite his injury, Naruto moved with a smooth, athletic power, completely confident in his ability to play hurt. He didn't limp or give any sign to the opposing team that his knee was bothering him at all. If Sasuke hadn't seen him hobbling around at school for the past week, he might have been fooled._

_But the other team had already heard about Naruto's injuries, and when they saw him take the field they adjusted their strategy to try to hit him hard and often and knock him back out of the game. _

_Sasuke's fist clenched as he saw Naruto get taken down again. How much could he take of this? Naruto couldn't possibly keep playing indefinitely if they kept this up. The ref was hesitating on calling another late hit, but seriously, how could he not stop this? It was the sixth late hit in the game. _

_Naruto got up slowly, but evidently said something that made the other player lunge at him, causing the other boy to get ejected from the game. Naruto dusted himself off and stood, but Sasuke could tell that Naruto was hurting when a small limp made its way into his movements. His posture was stiff and his movements seemed much more forced than they had at the beginning of the game. _

_One of the spectators sitting next to Sasuke leaned over to talk to him. "I've never seen a kid able to take a beating like that and keep going. He's gotta have one hell of a drive!"_

"_Hn," Sasuke responded. He could hear Naruto's mother screaming at the ref to penalize the other team for all the late hits, but this was high school, not the pros, and the refs weren't always good at enforcing the rules. But the game was now tied, causing the other team to be even more frenzied in their desire to take Naruto out. _

_There were ten minutes left on the clock, so a field goal was risky. The other team could equalize. If they wanted to secure a victory, they'd have to actually score a touchdown. Naruto rolled his shoulders and shook his hand out, clearly feeling the toll from all the injuries he'd sustained. No one from their team would fault him if he sat the rest of the game out. Kiba was screaming at the linebackers telling them to protect Naruto in the pocket better, but everyone was already doing their best._

_Naruto looked over at the coach, and gave a sort of swirling hand signal. The coach just looked at him for a moment, then shrugged and gave a thumbs up and shouted something to the head referee. Sasuke leaned forward, wondering what the idiot was up to. He was already pushing it. It wouldn't hurt to just give up._

_He saw the offensive line shift to a field goal configuration, but the kicker didn't come out and Naruto didn't leave the field. The linemen on the other team seemed confused as to which players were now eligible to receive, since Kiba, one of their star receivers, was lined up in a traditional linebacker spot. They questioned the ref, and he discussed something with them for a moment, but evidently they didn't like what he'd said, their frustration and confusion still showing on their faces._

_Naruto shouted and the ball was snapped. There was a slight hesitation in the opposing team's defensive position as they tried to figure out who to cover, allowing an extra few seconds for some of the players to break away down field, but one of the linebackers had broken through and was heading straight for Naruto again. Kiba shouted, and Naruto threw a lateral pass to him, rushing forward to block his receiver as the defender charging him changed direction and headed for Kiba._

_Two other defenders closed in on the receiver, and he sent a glance to Naruto who was trying to shove at least one of them off trajectory and sent the ball back over to the blond. Naruto caught the ball behind the defender, but still behind the original line of scrimmage. Keeping his head, he turned and ran as fast as he could down the field, two of his teammates flanking him and deflecting any of the opposing team's players from making contact. The crowd went wild._

_He ran it, the sixty-seven yards for a touchdown, eating up precious time on the clock. _

_The fans were jumping up and down and screaming themselves hoarse as Naruto limped off the field. The man sitting next to Sasuke was on his feet, cheering. "Did you see that kid out there? I heard he always comes up with the craziest plays to beat the odds. I wonder if he's going to play ball in college?"_

_Sasuke shook his head and smirked. Naruto had no intention of playing college ball. He had bigger aspirations. He wanted to graduate as fast as possible and join the police force like his parents. As Sasuke watched Naruto get playfully slapped on the head by his teammates, grinning up at the crowd with that usual, dopey expression on his face, Sasuke slowly stood up to._

_And he briefly clapped alongside everyone else._

_Naruto's eyes seemed to be scanning the crowd, searching for someone. Sasuke stopped clapping and looked around to see who the blond was looking for. Naruto's blue eyes were locked on his. Then Naruto was being tackled by Kiba and the rest of the team, breaking his focus. Sasuke turned and headed to his car. _

_It had been a great game._

Sasuke pressed his forehead to the cold glass of the window, watching the street lights slide by.

"Dobe… I need you to beat the odds again. Just one more time. You need to beat the odds," he whispered to his reflection.

* * *

><p>"...Mo...ve…" Naruto whispered to his hands in the dark. Not even a twitch. He swallowed painfully, hoping if he tried again, really put effort into it, he might get a response. But this wasn't a scene out of a movie where on willpower alone he could force his body to listen to him. As strong as his mind was, Naruto knew he was weakened. He stared up at the ceiling, listening to the sounds of his shallow breaths as he tried to rest and regain some of his strength.<p>

When he had woken up on the table, still strapped to the frame, he had been a bit surprised to find he was still alive. That was good. Though every muscle in his body hurt like hell, and it crossed his mind that maybe that's what this was. He couldn't tell how many hours passed since the torture began, but he knew with certainty he was dying if for no other reason than he was running out of time.

He knew it had been more than two days. There was a good chance that the next 'session' would be the last and Naruto knew that the victims were always raped before they were killed. Of all the cruel things that were going to happen to him, that was what he dreaded the most. Naruto swallowed hard. But he had the measure of his captor now. If it came to that, he knew he could push the man's buttons and get him to kill him ahead of schedule. Naruto would rather die a few hours early than give him that kind of satisfaction.

He felt a surreal sensation... like he was watching himself cling to life as he desperately tried to find an escape. Though his body was caving in, his spirit wasn't. He was conscious. And he had reasons to live. He watched water drip from a rusty pipe, trying to regulate his breathing. He inhaled deeply through his nose, then he exhaled through his abused throat. The oxygen cleared and focused his mind. It was a good and bad thing, as he was able to focus on each individual injury as he took stock of his physical condition. God did he hurt.

He could taste copper in his mouth from biting his lip, just so he wouldn't scream as much as the psycho wanted. Naruto didn't know how long he was unconscious. It must have been a while, seeing as his body was nearly dry from the hose. He was slightly light-headed from lack of food. It had been at least a day since he'd had anything to eat or drink. But that didn't matter now. Hidan would be back and his time was running out. He needed to think of a plan. Kakashi always called him the number one, unpredictable officer in the force. So he needed to tap into that spontaneity. Otherwise, if he didn't get an idea soon it was over for him.

Naruto's mind raced. Desperate idea after desperate idea piled up, though none seemed achievable. Damn it. His best bet was still his original plan of somehow faking being unconscious and hoping Hidan bought it long enough to loosen the restraints. It was his only chance. Though it would be hard to fool someone who had seen the real thing so many times. But Naruto's life was on the line, and he would give it one more shot.

He heard the sound of the door opening, and Naruto couldn't suppress a flinch. It somehow made the experiences of all the other victims that much more real to Naruto, when he realized that Hidan was able to estimate so closely when he was likely to have regained consciousness.

He swallowed hard, thinking of how they all must have felt the same pain and fear that coursed through him now. The connection to all the previous victims somehow gave Naruto strength. It steeled him and filled him with purpose. He would end this. He would be the last person that Hidan tortured, the last person to feel this fear. And Naruto no longer cared what he had to do to make that happen.

He closed his eyes, not wanting Hidan to read the newly found determination that had nearly revived his spirit. Naruto would let him think that he was close to breaking.

But Naruto Would. Not. Break.

He opened his eyes at the sound of metal scraping against something. His stomach clenched as he saw the set of surgical knives laid out on the small table next to him. Hidan was watching Naruto intently, one slim, wicked blade held in his hand.

Naruto had known this was coming. He had read the autopsy reports. Hidan always disfigured his victims in some way before he raped and killed them. It was nearing the end now. There were only hours left.

"Normally, I like to untie my victims for this part. They are usually broken by now. Weeping and begging. It's a fucking riot. Screaming, crying, asking for their _mommies_. I can hear them now just begging me to spare their lives or end it. But you…." Hidan slid the blade along the front of Naruto's bare chest, trailing the blade down to his naval without breaking the skin. "... You don't seem quite broken to me, Officer Uzumaki."

Naruto shuddered. It was the first time that the killer had actually used his name. He didn't know what it meant to the man that he had switched from calling him 'slut' or 'whore' to actually using his name, but Naruto was pretty sure it was a bad sign.

"That's why you're special. And it makes this part even more necessary. I have to remove the..._temptation…" _Hidan whispered the last word breathlessly, his eyes trailing from Naruto's stomach to his eyes. The blade turned. Naruto couldn't hold back a flinch as it cut a shallow path across his stomach. "You have such a beautiful body. You must really take care of yourself..." Hidan applied pressure on the smooth patch of flesh, just below his heart, and Naruto's toes clenched at the pain. Hidan stared at him for a moment, watching Naruto's chest heave. He licked his lips, his eyes half-lidded as he leaned over and, to Naruto's horror, slid his tongue against the fresh cut he made.

Naruto wanted to gag. He wanted to get this slimy creep off him but he was still bound by the restraints. He couldn't move at all. And it wasn't just the restraints and the exhaustion that had made him still, he realized. It was _fear. _Sheer, unmitigated fear that he would have no more chances to try to escape. Because this was the end. "...Beautiful, so fucking beautiful aren't you…" Hidan whispered against his skin, his hot breath ghosting over the open wound, and Naruto could hear his heart _thundering _against his rib-cage. "...If I could have my way right now I'd…" Naruto didn't want to hear it. He blocked it out. "...you'd like it wouldn't you?" He felt like he was being covered in layer after layer of grime.

The pressure on the blade was once again reduced, until Naruto felt it slice a shallow cut over his bicep. Naruto scrunched his eyes shut, knowing that if he kept them open, tears would unwillingly slip out of them. "Look at what you've done to me, Officer Uzumaki…" The man dipped his tongue into the slit of the cut. Naruto's nails dug into his palms. It _hurt._ "...You slut...you…" Hidan drove this tongue deeper into the wound, widening it, stretching it with his wet muscle until Naruto's chest jerked and he screamed.

"Look at what you've done!" Hidan threw his head back and laughed. "You have lured me from the path of righteousness, seduced me...and _soon _I will not be able to restrain myself," his hands roamed until they were dangerously near Naruto's cock. The blonde felt the bile rise in his throat. He couldn't let this happen. This… revulsion of something so disgusting, teetering towards ruin, threatening to cripple him from the inside. He didn't want this. Out of every possible scenario, he'd rather _die _than be….

He had to stop himself there.

He needed to stay in control. He was drained, and it would be a lie if he said it didn't cross his mind once or twice that maybe he wasn't getting out of here. That maybe this was it for him, and his legacy would end before it even began with him being a tragic casualty of some deranged killer. A picture on the morning news, or the cover of some lifetime show.

He needed to pull him back from the panic. He thought about the people waiting for him back home.

His parents were probably worried. Naruto pictured his dad praising him when he got back. They would greet him at the door, his mom would hug him to death for making it back safe. Then she would strangle him with those same hands for worrying her so much. In this moment he'd give anything to have her terrible cooking. Kiba wouldn't forgive him either if he kicked the bucket now. Plus he still had to kick Kiba's ass for all his perverted comments while Naruto was working the street. And if he let the captain down, what kind of bragging rights would the department have? Besides, Haku would probably decide to kill this asshole for him if he died, and he didn't want him getting his hands dirty.

And Sasuke… Naruto's heart constricted, and it had nothing to do with Hidan's rant. The voice taunting him faded from his ears as thoughts and images flashed through Naruto's mind.

_Sasuke._

He still had so much he wanted to tell Sasuke. So much he wanted to do and say and _feel. _Giving up now wasn't an option. Not when he just got promoted, and especially not when he just got things right between them.

"...But let's not get ahead of ourselves…" Hidan's voice hardened, and Naruto refocused his mind on the present. "... Everything must be done in its proper time. In order to be able to be free from this fascination, I must destroy the object of my desires."

Hidan lightened his touch on the blade, allowing it to pass over Naruto's throat without drawing blood. Naruto swallowed convulsively as he felt the blade move along the thin skin that separated the blade from his jugular.

He felt the blade come to rest below his cheek bone. "But while your body is fucking delicious, I think what drew me to you most…." Hidan said, pressing down on the blade as he drew it across Naruto's cheek. "... Was your face."

Naruto could feel the blade drawn against his cheeks, and he tried not to move. They were precise, clean cuts. Three times on each side. And he willed himself not to make a sound. Naruto ground his teeth together, tightly fisting his hands as sharp edge dug into his flesh. Fuck it hurt, like his face was on fire, and Naruto could feel the blood trickling down. The pain of the cuts was intense, but he had always had a strong pain tolerance. Naruto bit the inside of his cheek until it was over.

He felt Hidan nick a small cut in the very center of his forehead. "And when it's all over, I'll put a bullet here, to send you on peacefully to my Lord Jashin."

Hidan grabbed Naruto's face, his fingers digging into the cuts and Naruto was unable to hold back a scream. He felt more blood drip over his face, and decided now was the right time. Praying that this was enough to seem believable, he slumped forward, pretending to fall unconscious. He didn't tense. He knew he couldn't afford to, not when he could feel Hidan closely observing him.

Naruto forced himself not to react when the man abruptly grabbed him by the chin and jerked his head back, his fingers digging cruelly into the wounds again. Naruto simply allowed his head to loll backwards like a rag doll.

"Not so different than the others after all, then," Hidan said with a satisfied voice. "And when you wake, we will finish this. I will sate my desire for you, then...I'll purify us both with your blood."

Naruto felt his pulse quicken when he realized that his plan was working. He felt Hidan beginning to undo the bindings around him. He would only have one shot at escape. And he would not blow it. Forcing his breathing to stay regular and not give himself away, Naruto felt the binding around his thighs come loose. Hidan didn't take any chances though, as he immediately put some sort of shackles around Naruto's ankles before releasing the restraint that held Naruto's hips and wrists.

Naruto didn't dare to breathe as he felt the final restraint that held his arms and chest loosen. Once this was released, he would be freed from the table. He wasn't exactly sure what Hidan had secured his ankles with, but with his arms free, Naruto would at least have a chance to fight back. Most definitely the last. He needed to make this count. He was going to make it out alive.

When he finally heard the restraints fall to the ground with a thud, and felt Hidan bringing his arms around to pull him up, he forced himself into action. Naruto's eyes flared open and he drew his fist back and punched Hidan in the face. Hidan stumbled back and Naruto used the momentary advantage of surprise to jump to his feet. Having been either suspended or lying flat for more than two days took its toll, though, and Naruto stumbled as his knees buckled slightly. He sucked in a breath, trying to force himself move, using the adrenaline rush to give him added strength.

He looked down and saw his ankles were shackled together by a short length of chain. It would make running impossible, but he could still escape. He just needed to incapacitate Hidan somehow… knock him out or restrain him so he could call for backup. Naruto hadn't seen any sign of a partner for the psycho, so he hoped that meant they were alone. He knew he was at his limit, and wouldn't be able to take on another opponent if Hidan had someone lurking in the shadows.

But there was no time to worry about that now. Hidan grabbed the blade that he had used on Naruto's face only moments before, and lunged at him. Naruto thanked Haku for every sparring session he'd ever given him as he leaned back and flung both legs out, using the chain around his ankles as a weapon to strike at his attacker's wrists, sending the blade flying out of his hand.

"You SLUT, who do you think you are -" Hidan said furiously. Obviously he was not used to his victims fighting back. By now they had all been broken, putty in his hands, simply waiting for their end. But this one… Hidan felt fury pump through him. Why did this one not realize he had lost? "How _dare _you defy me!"

Naruto smirked, though his forehead was sheened in sweat, the cuts on his face stinging. "When I became a cop I took an oath to serve and protect. Sorry, but giving up isn't part of the job description."

Hidan screamed in rage and lunged at Naruto, his hands outstretched like talons reaching for Naruto's throat. Hidan anticipated Naruto's move when he tried to strike him with his feet again, and the killer side-stepped before attacking once more, grabbing onto Naruto's arms with bruising force.

Naruto knew that it was all or nothing at this point. He could not allow himself to be subdued and placed back into the restraints. He smashed his head forward, breaking Hidan's nose. The shock of the blow caused Hidan's grip to loosen, and Naruto used the momentary advantage to shove the man back and kick out with all his strength, hitting the man in the stomach.

All the air left Hidan's lungs in a rush as he flew back across the room, crashing into a shelf against the wall. Naruto grabbed a length of pipe that was leaning against the wall and raised it up over his head to knock the killer out so he could get out. But before he could bring the pipe down, Hidan's hand came up, clutching a gun that Naruto had not seen was stored upon the shelf. Naruto flung himself to the side just as Hidan pulled the trigger.

Naruto crashed against another set of shelves, feeling something sticky pour over him, his whole body screaming with the pain of the fall. But he had managed to dodge the bullet. He rolled, forcing his body to move despite the pain as he heard Hidan curse and get to his feet.

"How dare you desecrate the altar of Jashin! You've ruined it!"

Naruto felt a wave of nausea as he realized that whatever he had knocked over had been filled with some sort of blood, which he was now soaked with.

Hidan raised the gun again, but suddenly a red light began to flash from somewhere and a soft, buzzing alarm sounded. "Move and I shoot you in the head right now," Hidan snarled out, keeping his gun trained on Naruto's head as he walked backwards, flipping on a TV monitor without breaking eye contact with Naruto.

Naruto was therefore the first to see a black van with all its doors open. There were three people running toward the entrance of the warehouse. Despite the fact that the images were small, there was one figure in particular that Naruto would recognize at any distance. His whole being froze with fear as he saw Sasuke taking off at a dead run towards the warehouse door with a gun in his hand. Naruto felt a surge of fear far beyond what he had felt for his own personal safety. He would not let this psycho get his hands on him.

When Hidan's gaze finally flicked towards the screen, only Kiba still in view, screaming something into his phone. Then two police cars and a SWAT van came into sight. Hidan cursed, and Naruto used the momentary distraction. He reached over his head and grabbed the first thing his hand closed around. He picked up a wrench and flung it at Hidan's head with all his remaining strength. Hidan whipped around when he heard movement behind him, but it was too late.

He was unable to dodge the blow and he fell over, crashing into the monitors. Naruto watched as one of them smashed into his head, causing him to drop the gun and fall to the floor with a loud groan.

Now was his chance.

He just hoped his body held out long enough for him to escape.

* * *

><p><em>xXx<em>

_Dun dun dun..._  
><em>Till next week!<em>


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